Angela
love patrick. love wales.
the resolution is too convenient. same with the reveal of what actually happened.
i low key predicted the pov plot twist. i thought about it, thought there was no way this would be the case. ... it was exactly the case. i feel like the author wanted me to be impressed and gasp at it and all that. i was not. i was a bit disappointed. also predicted the driver. didn't predict the reason, cause wtf was that? even if all the stars have aligned, this type of coincidence would never have happened.
the detective storyline was probably the best. i do want to know more about tom and why it happened and what happens afterwards.
halfway through: this is not so steadily going from “3 but I like vampires, so 4” to “2 but I like vampires, so 1”
finished: yeah, no xD
if you like vampires, this book is not for you. it completely misses the point.
if you like books that need to be “woke” about everything and like to shame ppl for liking stuff which purpose is quite decisively NOT that, then hey, this is for you. but also I don't want to talk to you, especially not about vampires. is there an underlying message in vampire stories? yes, in some of them. it's not what this collection thinks it is though. not everything is always about race and colonisation. some ppl have different thoughts sometimes and are not just obsessed with the same single world issue all the time.
as a side note, I'm not saying vampire stories cannot or shouldn't tackle those issues. books like a southern guide for killing vampires exist and are successful for a reason and I have no problem with that. but claiming that what every book about vampires ever insidiously tried to do is to put racism and colonisation propaganda as their subtext, and look at this wonderful little anthology figuring it out and breaking the cycle... no. hate the attitude, hate the concept. sometimes a vampire book is just a fun fantasy about sexy vampires very likely being gay together, and sometimes it's a commentary on rapid industrialisation [hi, dracula. how've you been?]. and yes, sometimes there are racial themes or some other themes there as well. and that's how it should be. there's place for everything in anything, always. but to generalise like that and assume that just because dracula was a European white man the story must be about sexism and racism is just... reaching honestly. looking for smth that's not there just because you want it to be there and want to point your finger and say “a-ha!! found another one!”. calm down and leave vampires alone to those who actually do enjoy them as they are.
okay, look. there's nothing wrong with this book but it's not for me. first of all, it doesn't take being a witch serious, which is like... to each their own, but for me, this was too metaphorical. laughably so even. come on, girls. do you want to be witches or not? this felt more like a meditation book and not a witchcraft book.
but then again, this book did also feel very childish and immature. i would've honestly put it in a young adult section. i couldn't take any of it seriously.
in any way, if you want a meditation-esque self-help book based on witchy aesthetics, sure, pick it up. if you want to learn about actual witchery, don't bother.
there is this recurring theme in the narrative that I can't stand. so much so in fact that I'm considering docking a whole star for it. the thing is, I've watched this film recently where characters used the same bullshit excuse for their shitty behaviour, and it was so sickening there that I don't think I will ever be able to hear this excuse again without getting angry. and honestly, I've tried here when it was said once in passing, and then when it was said again but brushed over, but I can't ignore this anymore. so, what I'm talking about is this: the, let's call him, love interest has this complicated past that keeps popping up. and he did some dumb shit and got into what turned out to be the “not the healthiest relationship in the world” that he's still not exactly over. and characters, him included, continue to say that “oh, he was young, so he did stupid shit, as dumb ppl do and cut him some slack cause he was young” . . . the man was 22. and by the end of the relationship he was 27. the excuse of “being young” ends at 18. he was not “young”. he was a full-functioning adult, who yes, did dumb shit, but who also should own up to it and face the fucking consequences. he should admit that he has issues and try to deal with them. or not admit and/or not deal. i don't really care at this point, I don't think they should end up together anyway cause Jay deserves better. but if I hear anyone saying he was young and did stupid shit and should be cut some slack cause he was young, i'm going to lose it. he was in college. he was not a kid. when you do stupid shit in college, which you do, cause ppl do stupid shit regardless of their age, you don't get to blame it on your age anymore. i'd much rather they blamed it on his circumstances and/or his mental state. but not age.
and on that note;
all I want is a romance with an ending that doesn't piss me off. is that really too much to ask? why do we have a conflict 20 pages before the end? and it's not even smth that can be reasonably resolved in 20 pages. it's smth that makes me not want them to end up together. it happens over and over again. and here too. we spend the whole book on these cute but honestly meaningless scenes which I am totally fine with. that's what I want from a romance anyway. i want the banter and the cute scenes and fun interactions. but then don't give me a heavy af conflict at the end only to not explore it and resolve it in 20 fucking pages! come on now!! you either commit to being an intense gut-wrenching angsty read [which i can also get on board with] or you choose to end your book on a less serious obstacle. you can't have it both ways. it's a tone shift. this conflict is some Call Me By Your Name level shit. and while it was foreshadowed, it was hinted that hey, this man has issues, this is going to blow up in their faces, I still say this was not resolved in a way it should've. you don't come out of smth like this with an apology like that. how is this “let's try it” different than the “let's try it” he said a month ago? and they haven't even seen or talked to each other in between so it's not like they could have some kind of meaningful change together. and the love interest guy needs to go through some therapy first. he needs to resolve his own issues before dragging smb else, smb he apparently love, into them with him.
another thing that bugged me was the framing device. the prologue-epilogue thing. now, you might say that this is a romance, and if you think saying that the two main characters end up together at the end of a romance novel is a spoiler, then it's on you. and I'll say that you're right. it is. we all know peter and jay will end up together. either cause of the genre or cause you've read the previous book in the series, doesn't matter, there's still no doubt in their inevitable togetherness. moreover, I don't really care about spoiler period. but. the thing is, the whole premise of this book is peter's incapability to ve in a committed relationship [yes, I'm simplifying it, but that's the gist of it]. and so while we do know that they end up together, there should still be some tension left in the story. the prologue makes the whole story basically pointless. we know from the prologue everything that happens. we know that jap and peter are very different, we know how they are different, we know what their struggles have been, we know the result of them [the prologue literally says that jay never expected peter to change so much, to the point that he was the one who proposed]. so any kind of intrigue you might have had about their story is immediately gone cause you know that with all his issues and “complications” peter will be the one who proposes. they don't just end up together, they end up married. you know all that. and yes, you might argue that, oh, but the point then must be in HOW peter changes, his journey from a man who would get triggered by a word boyfriend to proposing. to which I'll tell you “yeah, you do get that. or rather you get a glimpse of that. in the epilogue”. ... no, I'm not joking. the story as it is is about jay and peter meeting, starting a fuck-buddies, definitely not boyfriends, type of relationship, falling for each, breaking up cause peter is “complicated” and has issues and then peter being like “I can't live without you” and jay being like “well, in that case, fuck your issues, I guess” and then epilogue-wedding with a page of jay reminiscing how “yeah, he had issues but we worked through them, yay us” and I'm like “why did I read this again?”. you can literally read the prologue, the epilogue and you won't miss anything. and the thing is, all you need to do to fix this is get rid of the prologue. hell, the first third of the book, jay isn't even sure [and by that I mean it takes a lot of convincing from peter's part to make jay believe him] that peter is gay. and you're sitting there like “yeah, you guys are getting married in five years. can we move it along? i know that he's definitely gay”. there's no tension with you guessing is he gay? is he not gay? should jay even try to pursue this?
idk. there were things I liked about it. i like that there was more than just sex between them. that they had chemistry. i like the characterisation. i just think that perhaps the book tried to touch on smth that was too deep, but then in touching on those themes, it didn't go deep enough into them, if that makes sense. and so the things that annoyed me, really did leave a bad taste in my mouth. evident by the fact that it took me more than two weeks to read smth i would usually read in one sitting.
As far as feminisation kink goes, this wasn't even that cringe for me, which is definitely a win. I probably wouldn't have read it if it wasn't part of this series. But Alessandra Hazard did it again, she made me like smth i normally wouldn't. So yeah, i enjoyed it quite a bit and if you can handle the kinks (feminisation, humiliation, etc) I'd say give it a go.
i still really like the writing style and the characters and the plots of these books but that epilogue is too fairytale-ish for me. there's no way smb would hire a very well-known Calvin Klein underwear model as a teacher. that just wouldn't happen. I'm not saying it shouldn't, I'm just saying it wouldn't. we've seen way too many scandals happen with similar themes and ppl losing their jobs. so no. also I don't believe even smb like benedict Cumberbatch could make a request about his shooting schedule like that. you're either an actor or you're not. with the whole “modelling is actually hard” understanding that the book has, it somehow lacks the same for acting, which is even more so.
but, to be fair, it doesn't really matter. it's basically a cinderella story and it's snarky and gay and British and I liked it a lot [though i could do less with the whole “I would die for billy” bullshit]. and at least the conflict resolution was better than in the first book.
i will say I'm not a fan of them leaving London and I would prefer it if Jude stayed a model but that's more of a taste thing, I suppose.
i think i somehow expected this to be more... profound? or impactful? i don't know. i think back to lolita and I think the main difference is that while I can see myself rereading lolita or passages of lolita, i cannot see myself rereading this. and i think the main thing it comes down to is the writing. there was something so beautiful about lolita, something so mesmerising. the way it's written makes you want to reread it again and again. it's not just a story, it's an ugly story wrapped in beautiful prose. nabokov wrote beautifully about smth that wasn't beautiful at all and it makes you want to get to the core of it.
this was just a story of self-discovery and getting to terms with smth, a trauma, that happened to you. it could've easily been anything else and the story wouldn't change much. and I'm not saying I'm disappointed we didn't spend more time on the “relationship” between an underage girl and a grown man, but i feel like smth was lacking.
it also felt at times like the book was trying to tell two stories but not committing to either one. or rather, not committing to the second one. which almost made me wish it wasn't touched on at all. I'm talking about the topic of the movement and all the more complicated sides of it. forcing smb to talk, exposing them. i wanted more on that. but also i wish we got a little more on the topic of “victim of abuse not thinking she was abused”. i feel like we started in a grey area and then suddenly we were in a black and white area and there wasn't a clear path of how we got there. I'm not saying we should've stayed in grey, that's the author's prerogative to do with the story what she wants to do, but i am saying i wanted a little more.
with that said, i didn't actually want more pages. i think this book was a little too long for the story it ended up telling.
i think i liked these two the least out of the other characters. eve is an entitled, privileged child, and this book would've been smth of the likes of a little life if her parents didn't have all this money. her whole infantile behaviour annoyed the fuck out of me at the beginning of the book. i was totally on board with her parents. honestly, I say they might have needed to do this intervention sooner. i want to say she wouldn't last a year in a real world, but then it's a romance book, so of course, she would.
i was fine with jacob but his freak out towards the end of the book ruined his character for me. i know every romance book needs a conflict [I don't exactly know why every romance book needs a conflict cause I personally would've been fine with them just saying their i-love-yous and moving on with their lives, but here we are] but we didn't need to ruin jacob's character for that.
i still love the writing though. it's so funny and easy to read. i will definitely read more from this author even if not exactly excited more her less traditionally published novels having even more sex [those this book probably had the most bearable sex scenes out of the three]. i do enjoy the writing a lot.
also, i'm not sure i like the implications this book has about being a parent in the beginning and it makes me uncomfortable. it's almost like what the book is getting at is that as soon as you have a child and become a parent you yourself should ease to exist as an individual. like you don't matter anymore, what /you/ want doesn't matter anymore. your only concern in life should be your child and I detest that so much
not understanding her child's needs but taking them seriously anyway. Because that's what parents do. They take you seriously and they put you first.
!!this review contains spoilers!!
ten pm: there's so much exposition, like omg, what is this? a memoir?
also, the whole movie aspect is getting annoying. there's loving cinema and then there's being a snob about it. i can't help rolling my eyes at it. ppl can like what they like. there's no fucking need to get all Judgy McJudgerson about it. there's merit to everything. i can write a whole rant about how important sound of music was and I'm not even a fan of it. needless to say, the character really irritates me.
also, are we like 100% sure josh is a/the murderer? cause I reread the synopsis and idk, but so far, he doesn't seem that suspicious and I can easily excuse the things that mc finds troubling. like “his name is not josh”. so what? maybe he doesn't like his name. like it's such a nothing clue, tbh.
another thing that bugs me is the whole “I don't need to be on the meds. fuck the meds.”. like I understand this is set in the 90s but it still rubs me the wrong way.
midnight: not going to lie, i'm feeling a bit disappointed at how straightforward this is. i was so sure josh wasn't actually the killer cause that would just be too easy. i thought maybe robbie was actually the killer or even charlie herself. with all the blackouts/movies she's having it could've been an interesting plot twist. but no. it's kind of boring, honestly, and charlie is a boring and annoying character to be in the perspective of.
also, that insensitive misinterpretation of what stockholm syndrome is and how and why it happens really pissed me off there.
end: wow, i really did not like this. the fact that I predicted robbie being the killer even though there were no hints for it just sinks it for me. i admit I did get fooled by that chapter from josh's point of view for a second, but even then smth told me he wasn't the villain, it would be way too easy.
what pissed me off the most is the whole marge situation. we get a chapter from her point of view!!! that fucking chapter is a complete fucking lie. and I hate when books do that, when books give you smb's pov and then there's a plot twist about their identity and this plot twist makes that pov a lie. marge in that situation would never think what she supposedly thought. he would never think of charlie as a girl in need cause she knew who charlie was and she knew who josh was and she got the “code” from him so don't you give me that “oh, I try to stay out of it but I can't, I must try and help her” bullshit!! there's no way in hell she would be thinking that!!
i also want to say that there wasn't a single thing about the mc that I like but that's irrelevant. i don't need to like her. yes, I think she's stupid and pretentious and annoying and a lot of other things but whatever.
i was also annoyed that when she gets to the hospital she goes to see marge first. like who the fuck cares? i don't care. when it's revealed in the epilogue thing that she actually died i thought this was a better ending. as soon as she pulled a gun on an innocent girl who her granddaughter was best friends with i had no sympathy for her. and in the hospital scene, i kept thinking “who the fuck cares? tell if jack is okay?”. the man got wrapped up in smth he had nothing to do with, because some crazy lady took advantage of his situation. and he ends up with charlie at the end?? poor guy.
ah!! also!! so her mental illness got “cured” just like that, huh? really? fucking really?!
warning: the following is probably an incoherent rant but i am very annoyed and i just want to say what i have to say
okay, i think i have a very unpopular opinion but i've read this first book and while the vibes are like fine, it can be my type of thing if i'm in the mood [it honestly read like teen wolf but a book and about magic not werewolves which i wasn't about to complain about]. but i was very annoyed and even a bit uncomfortable with how the welsh culture was presented here?... like, i've never seen anybody talk about it but like... the whole idea of some ancient welsh mythical being and shit being in america really rubbed me the wrong way?.. [honestly low key felt like we were trying to substitute native america for welsh cause if they - the characters - were looking into native american myths and shit... there'd be a shit storm, let me just leave it at that. but with it being welsh no one really bet an eye at it being kind of... cultural appropriation-esque?-... i'm really hesitant to throw that word around, especially since i myself am not welsh or even british]. and the whole dream thing... anyway. that aside. say she really was like okay, i love welsh anything and everything, i want to write about it even though it's like not mine and has nothing to do with me, i'm writing it anyway. fine. whatever. [even though i still don't understand why you have to set it in america and not wales or at least like france or smth, idk. there's nothing particularly american about the story. just set it in wales. bring more awareness to the fact that wales fucking exist, it's a place and it's amazing].-
WHY THE FUCK are they using latin for everything?!? wouldn't welsh make so much more fucking sense?!? first of all, latin is so boring and lazy. it felt to me like maggie just knew some latin and wanted to use it and was too lazy to learn [or at least understand enough of it to use] actual welsh, cause welsh is a bit of a harder language. but then again, wouldn't it make much more sense for the characters of this prestigious academy and shit to go out of their way to acquire welsh language skills because that's smth they have to do rather than oh look, our pretentious school taught us latin, how fucking convenient, let's go talk to the welsh trees. IN LATIN. as smb who is writing a phd on ancient charms, i can tell you that there's no fucking way in hell wales would use LATIN for WELSH magic. no sooner will the hell freeze over. this is so stupid!! i was so annoyed. and with the whole thing making me uncomfortable in the first place [cause like, again, welsh culture is not that mainstream that you can just take it and use it for a fantasy ya series even if it's not your own and it be okay i feel like!! it should not have been okay! if she used some asian or african or native america culture ppl would've been livid over this] i don't know if i will ever continue EVEN IF the actual vibes and writing and pretentiousness is actually very much up my street
it was an interesting concept but it dragged. also, i'm not sure i understood what happened in the end
update: saw the explanation by the author. i'm not sure how i feel about it. i liked the idea of ruth being so convinced that she had the power, and there being so many coincidences but in the end, that's all they were — coincidences. how the human mind can believe smth so fiercely.
i mean, it was fine. i think i'm doing these books a disservice by reading them tbh. first of all, I don't care about reading sex scenes. if I want to read sex scenes I go for manga – at least I don't have to read all the same descriptions. and 2nd, I'm not really a fan of bodyguard romances. ever since that film with Whitney Houston, that everybody loved and I didn't care for, I know that this is just not a trope that does it for me.
but damn, I like lucas. i like his type of character. i love the idea of a close-knit, doing borderline illegal shit group of friends, and I like him character-wise – the confidence, the snarkiness, the “I ‘m sexy and I know it” attitude. i like it.
is it way too cheesy for me? yes. will I read on? ...maybe? idk. i think I might.