jude

 My piano teacher often likes to talk about the narrative of progress. That it's not a straight line forward of constant improvement, that sometimes you're objectively worse, sometimes you're objectively better, sometimes you take a step back, and sometimes you move forward.

Anyway, I bring this up because this is a school that in the modern day says no to queer couples at prom.

When I went to school in the 00's, there were no queer couples at prom. It was expressly forbidden, (I have memories of my homeroom teacher deleting “joke” prom sign-ups of same-gender couples). But the ACLU took a school to court about it and won in the last decade I think. So I assumed that would be the end of it, and the narrative of progress blah blah blah.

But of course small towns are gonna be small towns. I know this. 

This stars a closeted queer black girl in a small town. She's not afraid of hate-crimes, she's afraid of standing out, something she does simply by existing. 

But she has to sign up for nominations to be prom-queen, because there's a scholarship she desperately needs attached. 

And she falls in love, with someone who will DEFINITELY ruin her chances of being prom queen.

(Drama ensues) 

Anyway this caused me to reflect a lot on the proms I didn't go to, because I couldn't articulate a reason I didn't want to go with a boy (though there was a definite cost factor too). 

Book premise: Fake-dating.  That should be enough to get you to read it. 

I'm surprised I didn't cry. This is really good, please read it if you have read Dear Martin.  And read the stuff afterwards that explains the creative liberties.

I DO like this, but my kobo bricked and there's no way my new one will arrive with enough time to finish this or the other library books that have a million holds on them before my time is up

I'm not in the right headspace for this book. I will give it another try at a later date

Sadly I think I'm too much of a chicken for this book. If you are not a weenie (I never read horror, so I'm a pretty big weenie) I would recommend it if you want to see a trans masc autistic boy and supernatural powers.

If I ever gain more courage I will try this book again

Library wanted it back. I'm listing it as DNF because tjere's a very long wait. I do plan to try again though

Not in the mood right now. It's a great book, but I think I need something lighter for now

I do plan to finish this, it just wasn't a good time to read it and I had to return it to the library

I've dawdled too long and the library needs it back. It's probably a fine book but it didn't click with me when I started it

I will get back to this when I have time for it

I wish I could explain why I loved this so much, but it's probably something deeply personal. Anyway, read it. It's good.

It's dark, but hopeful. I was nearly crying by the end of my second read. I think I've grasped at least part of why I like this book. I feel seen.

If you're the sort that expects your future to be bleak, especially if or because you don't have a spouse and / or children, and you're introverted, (and of course, you love reading) and can't imagine someone actually valuing you, I think you'll really like this book.