Guarded

I have strong mixed feelings about this story. It really kept me turning pages until very late into the night, which isn't something I experience often. I also had a lot of affection for both characters, even though Berhanu is a huge jerk at many points. But (major CW) I don't think the rape scenes needed to be that explicit. They are over-the-top.. Usually I am okay with the high amount of suffering Kim Fielding inflicts on her characters, because it's always very matter-of-fact. In this story, though, in addition to all of the pain from external sources, there's a lot of relationship drama. Volos feels uncomfortable talking about it all, and I felt uncomfortable reading it. It was too much.But the main flaw, to me, was something that was left out which I think needed to be dramatized instead of mentioned. Berhanu doesn't want to bottom because he's still recovering from his rape, psychologically. Then, the last sex scene takes place months after that, and it's very tender and loving, in contrast to the brutal sex Berhanu and Volos have had up to that point. But we don't see their first time together after they have admitted they have feelings for each other, or the actual first time Berhanu bottoms. There's also the (minor) issue that they only ever have anal sex, and in that sweet last sex scene, everything else is referred to as foreplay. I wanted to see them doing other things in bed, once they got closer.The worldbuilding is great, and I really liked the fantasy setting, as well as all the side characters. I actually was reading [b:The Sacrifice and Other Stories 27836637 The Sacrifice and Other Stories Kim Fielding https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1447626411s/27836637.jpg 47818937], and I skipped this one because I knew it was available on audio. But I started Mato's Story and saw that I needed to read this one first. I'm glad that Mato was not forgotten! It's a fantasy world in which same-sex relationships are normalized, which I always enjoy reading. I also really felt Volos's longing for a home and family, which made his happy ending very satisfying. Overall, I'd call this an imperfect story from a great writer. But enemies-to-lovers is not my favorite trope and I see that a lot of the reviews are enthusiastically positive, so I am probably not the best judge. Anyway, now, I need to see how everything works out for Mato!