Sixty Impossible Things

???: why the fuck are you ignoring viktor

Yuuri: Who is this? What are you talking about?

???: its yuri dumbass and you know exactly what i'm talking about

Yuuri blinks at that. For a split second he wonders if an angrier asshole version of himself from an alternate universe, someone who spelled their name wrong and snubbed his nose at basic rules of grammar, had somehow found a way to pester him while he tried to prevent, by studying, at least one aspect of his life from crumbling into utter ruin. Then the split second passes and Yuuri reins in the insanity long enough to venture a rational approach.

Yuuri: Yuri who?

Three seconds later his phone rings.