Deb Nance
The Viceroy is coming! The Viceroy is coming! The people in the monastery must scurry around and prepare food that will impress the most important man in the colony of Mexico.
And so they do, but in the midst of making five different sauces and two desserts, a young boy who works around the monastery collides with the cooks and—Oh no!—everything is accidentally mixed together. And the Viceroy will soon arrive. What a mess!
But is it a mess? Can good things come from bad?
A lovely little story based on an old folktale from Mexico that explains the origin of molé, a thick savory sauce containing chocolate that is served atop chicken or turkey!
Kayla is too big for her small bike with training wheels, so her dad gets her a new bike.
But it's a wild bike, and it doesn't take long for the bike to throw Kayla off.
Will Kayla be able to tame this wild bike?
Dashka Slater uses the fresh imagery of breaking in a wild horse to share the experience of learning to ride a big kid bike. The illustrations are engaging and the text is lovely. When Kayla finally breaks in her new bike and gives the bike a ride, I wanted to cheer for her.
You know what a hat is, right?
We all do, right?
But let's think about hats a bit. Sure, you put a hat on your head. But what other sorts of hats are out there? A roof is a hat for a house? Well, yes. And an acorn on your finger could be a hat, too? Of course.
Emma Straub takes us on a hat adventure, stretching our ideas of defining and naming things out of the little boxes we make for them.
A Night to Remember is the true story of the sinking of the Titanic. It was first published in 1955, and Walter Lord notes that all the dialogue and all of the details from the story were taken from various accounts of the sinking of the Titanic. The story has the feeling of being an eyewitness account, with a narrator that sees-all, hears-all. I first read this book after I was wowed watching the movie Titanic, and someone told me that this book was a brilliant nonfiction story of that event. I have to agree. A Night to Remember is one of my all-time favorite reads. I hope to read the sequel this year, too.
The Good Life draws on what has been learned from the world's longest scientific study of happiness, the Harvard Study of Adult Development, to help people use that information to create a good life for themselves. The study began over eighty years ago, and is ongoing today. Instead of looking at what goes wrong in people's lives, this study chose to concentrate on the factors that make for a good life.
The authors begin the book by asking a question: If you had to make one life choice, right now, to set yourself on the path to future health and happiness, what would it be?
That gets you thinking, doesn't it?
And what is the answer? Here is what the authors say:
“For eighty-four years (and counting), the Harvard Study has tracked the same individuals, asking thousands of questions and taking hundreds of measurements to find out what really keeps people healthy and happy. Through all the years of studying these lives, one crucial factor stands out for the consistency and power of its ties to physical health, mental health, and longevity. Contrary to what many people might think, it's not career achievement, or exercise, or a healthy diet. Don't get us wrong; these things matter (a lot). But one thing continuously demonstrates its broad and enduring importance: Good relationships. In fact, good relationships are significant enough that if we had to take all eighty-four years of the Harvard Study and boil it down to a single principle for living, one life investment that is supported by similar findings across a wide variety of other studies, it would be this: Good relationships keep us healthier and happier. Period.”
Waldinger, Robert J.; Schulz Ph.D, Marc . The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness (p. 10). Simon & Schuster. Kindle Edition.
The rest of the book deals with ways to build better relationships.
I think this study and this book are fantastic tools, tools we urgently need in our world. If you have any interest in having a better world or a happier life, I strongly recommend this book to you.
Here are a few more of my takeaways from this book...
“Recent research has shown that for older people loneliness is twice as unhealthy as obesity, and chronic loneliness increases a person's odds of death in any given year by 26 percent.”
Waldinger, Robert J.; Schulz Ph.D, Marc . The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness (pp. 92-93). Simon & Schuster. Kindle Edition.
“In the United States, a 2018 study suggested that three out of four adults felt moderate to high levels of loneliness.” (My note: And this was before the pandemic!)
Waldinger, Robert J.; Schulz Ph.D, Marc . The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness (p. 93). Simon & Schuster. Kindle Edition.
“Our strongest feelings emerge from our connections with other people, and while the social world is filled with pleasures and meaning, it also contains doses of disappointment and pain. We get hurt by the people we love. We feel the sting when they disappoint us or leave us, and the emptiness when they die. The impulse to avoid these negative experiences in relationships makes sense. But if we want the benefits of being involved with other people, we have to tolerate a certain amount of risk.”
Waldinger, Robert J.; Schulz Ph.D, Marc . The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness (p. 112). Simon & Schuster. Kindle Edition.
“Curiosity—real, deep curiosity about what others are experiencing—goes a long way in important relationships. It opens up avenues of conversation and knowledge that we never knew were there. It helps others feel understood and appreciated. It's important even in less significant relationships, where it can set a precedent of caring and increase the strength of new, fragile bonds.”
Waldinger, Robert J.; Schulz Ph.D, Marc . The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness (p. 113). Simon & Schuster. Kindle Edition.
“...research...shows...some of the natural outgrowths of focused attention: reciprocal love and consideration, a sense of belonging, and positive feeling about human relationships in general—which then leads to more positive relationships, and better health.”
Waldinger, Robert J.; Schulz Ph.D, Marc . The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness (p. 137). Simon & Schuster. Kindle Edition.
“It's one of the great ironies of life—and the subject of millions of songs, films, and great works of literature—that the people who make us feel the most alive and who know us best are also the people able to hurt us most.”
Waldinger, Robert J.; Schulz Ph.D, Marc . The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness (p. 141). Simon & Schuster. Kindle Edition.
“It's often easier to turn away than it is to confront what troubles us. But doing so can have unintended consequences, and the effect of avoidance can be especially pronounced in the place it happens most: our personal relationships. Many studies have shown that when we avoid confronting challenges in a relationship, not only does the problem not go away, but it can get worse.”
Waldinger, Robert J.; Schulz Ph.D, Marc . The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness (p. 146). Simon & Schuster. Kindle Edition.
“The model that follows provides a way for you to slow your reactions and put them under a microscope. We offer it as something you can keep in your back pocket (metaphorically) and use anytime, for any emotional situation.”
Waldinger, Robert J.; Schulz Ph.D, Marc . The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness (p. 149). Simon & Schuster. Kindle Edition.
“The W.I.S.E.R. Model of Reacting to Emotionally Challenging Situations and Relationship Events:
Stage One: Watch.
Watch refers to the entire situation: the environment, the person you're interacting with, and you. Is the situation unusual or common? What typically happens next? What have I not considered that might be an important part of what is unfolding?
Stage Two: Interpret
This is the stage where things often go wrong. Just asking the question—What is it I'm assuming here?—can bring what looks like a mountain closer into line with its molehill reality. Assumptions are the source of an incredible amount of misunderstanding. As the old saying goes, Never assume, because when you assume, you make an ass of u and me. But it's also possible to err in the opposite direction and make true mountains into molehills...
Stage Three: Select
Now the question becomes: What should I do? Slowing down can allow us to consider possibilities and think about the likelihood of success for those possibilities...The key is to try to slow things down where you can, zoom in, and move from a fully automatic response to a more considered and purposeful response that aligns with who you are and what you are seeking to accomplish.
Stage Four: Engage (Implementing with Care)
Even the most logical response can fail if we do a poor job implementing that strategy. Practice—either in our minds or running it by a trusted confidant—can help. Chances of success also increase if we first reflect on what we do well and what we don't do so well.
Stage Five: Reflect
How did that work out? Did I make things better or worse? Have I learned something new about the challenge I'm facing and about the best response?
Waldinger, Robert J.; Schulz Ph.D, Marc . The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness. Simon & Schuster. Kindle Edition.
“Not every type of emotion is equally predictive of the health of a relationship, however. Some are particularly important, and in our study, two categories of emotion stood out: Empathy and affection.”
Waldinger, Robert J.; Schulz Ph.D, Marc . The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness (p. 177). Simon & Schuster. Kindle Edition.
“These missteps are not failures or signs that dancing together is impossible. Instead, they are opportunities to learn...In the end, what matters most are not the challenges we face in relationships, but how we manage them.”
Waldinger, Robert J.; Schulz Ph.D, Marc . The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness (p. 180). Simon & Schuster. Kindle Edition.
‘Whatever the “problem” is, the implication is clear: my partner needs to be fixed. But in reality, there's almost always a deeper, more complex tension within the relationship that the couple has not acknowledged. Discovering that tension usually requires both self-reflection and conversation.'
Waldinger, Robert J.; Schulz Ph.D, Marc . The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness (p. 181). Simon & Schuster. Kindle Edition.
“The intense feelings that emerge in recurring arguments, however trivial, often come down to one of a few common, but profound concerns. See if any of these ring a bell:
You don't care about me.
I'm working harder at this than you are.
I'm not sure I can trust you.
I'm afraid I'm going to lose you.
You don't think I'm good enough.”
Waldinger, Robert J.; Schulz Ph.D, Marc . The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness (p. 181). Simon & Schuster. Kindle Edition.
“Mutual, reciprocal vulnerability can lead to stronger and more secure relationships. The ability for partners to trust and be vulnerable with each other—to pause, notice their own and their partner's emotions, and comfortably share their fears—is one of the most powerful relationship skills that a couple can cultivate. It can also relieve a lot of stress, because both partners can get the support they need without having to muster energy in an attempt to be stronger than they really are. If we do manage to cultivate a strong and trusting bond, we're still not out of the woods, because even the best relationships are susceptible to decay. Just as trees need water, intimate relationships are living things, and as the seasons of life pass they can't be left to fend for themselves. They need attention, and nourishment.”
‘There are a few additional techniques that might be useful in that case. One is known as “reflective listening.” It helps us make sure we're hearing correctly what our partner is trying to say, and it shows that we care, that we are trying to empathize. It works like this: First, listen without commenting. Then, try to communicate what you've heard your partner say without judgment...‘
Waldinger, Robert J.; Schulz Ph.D, Marc . The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness (p. 194). Simon & Schuster. Kindle Edition.
“A second technique that is helpful in its own right and can make reflective listening even more valuable is to offer some understanding of your partner's reasons for a feeling or behavior. The goal is not to point out your brilliance and ability to see things your partner cannot, but to let your partner know that you see them. You want to communicate that it makes sense that she feels this way or that he is behaving in that way, and to nurture that bedrock of empathy and affection that research has shown to be valuable.”
Waldinger, Robert J.; Schulz Ph.D, Marc . The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness (p. 194). Simon & Schuster. Kindle Edition.
‘A third useful practice is to try to step back a bit from the conversation, a practice that psychologists call “self-distancing,” and look at your experience as if you are watching someone else.'
Waldinger, Robert J.; Schulz Ph.D, Marc . The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness (p. 194). Simon & Schuster. Kindle Edition.
“...there are a couple of simple (though difficult!) things we can do to encourage our ability to see what's really happening, and thus be more likely to reap the benefits of corrective experience. First, we can tune in to difficult feelings rather than try to ignore them. Second, we can notice when we are having experiences that are more positive than we expected. Third, we can try to “catch” other people when they are behaving well...The final and most powerful approach is simply to remain open to the possibility of people behaving differently than we expect.”
Waldinger, Robert J.; Schulz Ph.D, Marc . The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness (p. 216). Simon & Schuster. Kindle Edition.
And, shades of Mister Rogers...
“One simple thing we can all do is to notice when we find ourselves wanting someone to be different than they are. We can ask ourselves, What if I just let this person be themselves without passing judgment? How would this moment be different? Recognizing another person for who they are and meeting them where they are can go a long way toward deepening a connection.”
Waldinger, Robert J.; Schulz Ph.D, Marc . The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness (pp. 219-220). Simon & Schuster. Kindle Edition.
My first Agatha Christie!
We listened to this mystery on a recent car trip.
The big question is...What do I think of Agatha Christie? Well, I was surprised. Christie offered a lot of suspects, and I didn't even suspect who-done-it. The characters were all rich and well-fleshed-out. The story provided a lot of subtle humor.
Well done, Agatha.
MacGregor West receives a box of his mother's things and uses the things in the box to try to piece together the answers to the mysteries of his life. What sort of person was his mother? How did his mother die? Who was his father?
The search leads Mac to the Ware family. Instead of finding answers, Mac discovers more questions. What relationship did Mr. Ware have to Mac's mother? Could Carolyn Ware be Mac's soulmate? What is the meaning behind the photo Mac discovers of his mother in Paris?
I love quirky characters and this story is full of them, but, just now and then, I felt like the author was trying just a little too hard to make them so.
Jonathan Meiburg tells the little-known story of the world's smartest birds of prey, the caracaras of South America. Along the way, he also shares stories of the Falkland Islands, British author William Henry Hudson, corvids, other types of raptors, famous caracaras, and researchers investigating birds of prey.
It's a remarkable story.
When my faraway friend and fellow reader, Louise, recommends a book, I look for the book and read it.
Louise recommended Phosphorescence.
Thank you, Louise.
I think some quotes from this book will serve as a nice review...
A few years back, I was suffering heartbreak so intense I lost my appetite for months, and barely slept. I was skeletal, scattered, shorn of confidence. I called my counselor in tears and said, “I just don't know how I am going to get through this.” He told me that, when he was a young man, he had once said exactly the same thing to a wise mentor of his. This man, an Argentinian, abruptly slapped him and said, “It is now that everything that you have been given in your life matters; this is what you draw on. Your parents, your friends, your work, your books, everything you have ever been told, everything you have ever learned, this is when you use that.” And he was right.
Baird, Julia. Phosphorescence (p. xvi). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
What has fascinated and sustained me over these past few years has been the notion that we have the ability to find, nurture, and carry our own inner, living light—a light to ward off the darkness. This is not about burning brightly; it's about yielding a more simple phosphorescence—being luminous at temperatures below incandescence, having stored light for later use, quietly glowing without combusting. Staying alive, remaining upright, even when lashed by doubt.
Baird, Julia. Phosphorescence (p. xviii). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
Every now and then you actually do encounter someone who glows: someone who radiates goodness and seems to effortlessly inhabit a kind of joy, or seems so hungry for experience, so curious and engaged and fascinated with the world outside their head, that they brim with life, or light. These people are simultaneously soothing and magnetic.
Baird, Julia. Phosphorescence (p. xxiv). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
(Note to self: Find more of these people and befriend them, if possible, and, if not, simply watch them and learn from them.)
One of the world's longest studies of adult life, the Harvard Study of Adult Development, followed subjects for eighty years—beginning in 1938—and found that social connection and relationships are the single greatest predictor of health and happiness throughout your life.
Baird, Julia. Phosphorescence (p. 15). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
A 2014 study by researchers at the University of British Columbia found that even interactions with “weak social ties” such as casual acquaintances—like members of a sporting club—were significant.
Baird, Julia. Phosphorescence (p. 15). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
Why then don't we all do more to foster a sense of community?
Baird, Julia. Phosphorescence (p. 15). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
(Why indeed?)
Miriam-Rose Ungunmerr-Baumann, a Christian Indigenous elder from the Nauiyu community of the Daly River in the Northern Territory, ...believes that the greatest gift her people can give to fellow Australians is a respect for silence and alert, calm contemplation. This is called many different names in different Indigenous languages across Australia, but in her Ngangikurungkurr language it is known as dadirri and means, specifically, “inner, deep listening and quiet, still awareness.”
Baird, Julia. Phosphorescence (p. 69). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
I have only just discovered, while writing this, that the bones of women become aerated, filled with bubbles of air, and thinner, as they grow older, just like the hollow bones of birds. Sometimes this makes them frail. But perhaps, also, this lightness of limbs enables flight. It allows us to let go.
Baird, Julia. Phosphorescence (p. 122). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
(I must remember this.)
...you must avoid people who would control, criticize, or diminish you, in any way, or are jealous of you or make you feel small, or are drawn to your strength but then suck it dry.
Baird, Julia. Phosphorescence (p. 127). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
(Keyword is avoid.)
Michelle Obama so beautifully put it, “When they go low, we go high.”
Baird, Julia. Phosphorescence (p. 128). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
(Love this Michelle Obama quote.)
But it is possible Dass will be remembered most for just one sentence he uttered: “We are all just walking each other home.”
Baird, Julia. Phosphorescence (p. 135). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
(Another great quote.)
...to recognize that even in the madness, the toxicity, the decay and rot of the world, music is made, and played, and danced to.
Baird, Julia. Phosphorescence (p. 180). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
That, as Aslan revealed in C. S. Lewis's The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, behind every earthly law is a deeper magic that defies logic: a forgiveness of the unforgivable, a selfless gesture, a moment of grace. That this grace fuels galaxies, that the sun powers the planet and the moon pulls the tides, but the universe is largely unknown, spinning and vast, and that in itself is an ode to curiosity.
Baird, Julia. Phosphorescence (p. 180). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
One of the keys to happiness, it seems, is having a low bar.
Baird, Julia. Phosphorescence (p. 185). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
(No expectations.)
Cuttlefish changed my life in quiet ways, while jellyfish changed Lisa-ann's in spectacular ways. Crunching through a plate of liver pâté on toast, she said she had been searching for “ert”—a term she coined, meaning the opposite of inertia—since she was thirteen, and she had only just worked out what it was: purpose. “I don't think it needs to be jellyfish for everybody, but it is for me,” she said in her radio interview. “It's having a purpose. It's finding meaningful employment, it's finding a meaningful hobby that absorbs your fascination to a place where depression just can't get in. It just can't exist when you are in that place. So that's ert. Find something you love.”
Baird, Julia. Phosphorescence (p. 192). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
...as Oscar Wilde said, “Where there is sorrow, there is holy ground,” and he was right, hard as it is to till.
Baird, Julia. Phosphorescence (p. 202). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
I frowned at the complaints posted on social media when I was recovering—people who had the flu, who were annoyed by politicians or burdened by work, or who were juggling jobs and children. I wanted to scream: “BUT YOU ARE ALIVE! Alive!” Each day should be a glory, especially if you are upright and able to move with ease, without pain.
Baird, Julia. Phosphorescence (p. 206). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
I also know how hard and important it is to do as Wendell Berry said: “Be joyful even though you have considered all the facts.” “Yes, the worst might happen,” my friend Briony said to me when I lapsed into worrying about the future one day, while watching my dog Charlie bounce on a lush green hill pocked with rabbit holes, “but it might not.”
Baird, Julia. Phosphorescence (pp. 215-216). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
Every minute life begins over again. Amen.
Baird, Julia. Phosphorescence (p. 216). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
...faith and power rarely mix well. Jesus did not come to Earth and tell church leaders to amass large followings, obtain corporate sponsorship and political influence; instead he called those who parroted laws without practicing love vipers and hypocrites. He condemned leaders who were hypocritical and power hungry. He dined with sex workers, not CEOs. As American author Rachel Held Evans put it so well, “The kingdom, Jesus taught...belongs to the poor, the meek, the peacemakers, the merciful, and those who hunger and thirst for God. It advances not through power and might, but through missions of mercy, kindness, and humility....The rich don't usually get it, Jesus said, but children always do. This is a kingdom whose savior arrives not on a warhorse, but a donkey.”
Baird, Julia. Phosphorescence (p. 218). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
God is light, the ultimate source of phosphorescence, the light we can absorb to later emit...
Baird, Julia. Phosphorescence (p. 219). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
The greatest spiritual practice, she says, is “just showing up,” being present and attentive.
Baird, Julia. Phosphorescence (p. 228). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
Jesus could have hung out in the high-end religious scene of his day, but instead he scoffed at all that, choosing instead to laugh at the powerful, befriend whores, kiss sinners, and eat with all the wrong people. He spent his time with people for whom life was not easy. And there, amid those who were suffering, he was the embodiment of perfect love.
Baird, Julia. Phosphorescence (p. 229). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
When in doubt, reach for experts, as well as those with lived experience, and those who have not been heard; ask whose story and truth is being told; probe the gaps in the evidence; go to original sources; burrow into footnotes; coax the shadows into the light; and perhaps even “follow knowledge like a sinking star, beyond the utmost bound of human thought,” as Alfred Tennyson tried to do.
Baird, Julia. Phosphorescence (p. 240). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
The deeper you go, Adams told radio host Richard Fidler of the Australian Broadcasting Corporation, the more you discard: “The trivia of everyday life falls away.”
Baird, Julia. Phosphorescence (p. 244). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
As American author Robert Fulghum wrote, “If you break your neck, if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire—then you've got a problem. Everything else is an inconvenience. Life is inconvenient. Life is lumpy....A lump in the oatmeal, a lump in the throat, and a lump in a breast are not the same kind of lump. One should learn the difference.” It's true: We need to resist complaining about experiencing inconvenience. That is what it means to live.
Baird, Julia. Phosphorescence (p. 246). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
I wrote this book in the hope that it might be a salve for the weary, as well as a reminder of the mental rafts we can build to keep ourselves afloat, the scraps of beauty that should comfort us, the practices that might sustain us, especially in times of grief, illness, pain, and darkness. I understand, though, that stillness, kindness, the sea, and ancient trees can hardly be a universal panacea for all the suffering on this planet.
Baird, Julia. Phosphorescence (p. 249). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
How do we endure when suffering becomes unbearable and our obstacles seem monstrous? How do we continue to glow when the lights turn out?—are there, right in front of us, all the time. All we can do, really, is keep placing one foot on the earth, then the other, to seek out ancient paths and forests, certain in the knowledge that others have endured before us. We must love. And we must look outward and upward at all times, caring for others, seeking wonder and stalking awe, every day, to find the magic that will sustain us and fuel the light within—our own phosphorescence. And we must always, always pay attention to the world as we live our one wild and precious life, even when we're floating in the Bardo, about to return to the surface, bursting for air.
Baird, Julia. Phosphorescence (p. 256). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
This is the best guide I've ever seen for someone who is just starting out in backyard birding. Stan Tekiela keeps things simple, focusing only on the common birds that are in our backyards here in the South, but he is also comprehensive, pointing out the subtle differences between commonly confused birds.
Just because you put it out there doesn't mean it will be taken like you intended.
Frankie and Zeke meet and instantly connect in that way that only teens, and especially artsy teens, can. They come up with an idea to make posters—Frankie writes the words, and Zeke draws the illustrations—to place all over town.
And chaos ensues.
What is the meaning of the posters? Some think the posters are the work of a demonic cult. Others tell stories about kidnappers. The tales circulating around the posters grow taller and taller.
A fascinating slate of characters and a curious plot kept me reading and reading.
What? What happens right away in this book with a lovely bookstore setting? No. It can't be. Someone commits suicide in this bookstore? Oh no! But, yes, that's what happened. And there are horrible, grisly murders to come...
I don't like scary stories. I will just be upfront about that. Murder of a child? With a hammer? And a suicide in a bookstore?
I would have never read this book on my own. But it was my book club's choice.
My rating is based on (1) my lack of love for the gory, (2) the awful suicide in a bookstore, and (3) my disappointment with the ending
Kate and Baba are friends. Baba is nice to Kate. Kate loves Baba. Baba is mean to Kate. Kate hates Baba. On and on. With lots of Baba being mean.
Kate's homelife is...well, bad. Her dad drinks, and he turns into a monster. Her mother tries to cope. But not well. Baba's home is where Kate goes when things go south.
And then there is Mr. Gentleman, an older, married man.
I was fascinated with this story of two young girls living in the country, going off to school with nuns, heading to the big city, all in 1960s Ireland.
A spoiler or two in the paragraph below:
This is the story of Rocannon, an ethnologist sets out to find the base on Fomalhaut of an enemy to the League of All Worlds, the planet of Faraday. His interactions with the various lifeforms on the planet change him and he is eventually rewarded with the gift of telepathy. Rocannon saves the planet, but not before experiencing the pain of all the beings who were killed in the process through the gift he'd been given.
It's hard to write a book about awe, I think, that's...well, awesome.
Dacher Keltner gives it a go in his new book, Awe. He shares what he and a collaborator discovered from collecting stories of awe from people in twenty-six countries, what he calls the Eight Wonders of Life. So what most commonly led people around the world to feel awe?
(1) Other people's courage, kindness, strength, or overcoming.
(2) Collective effervescence. A term created by French sociologist Émile Durkheim that describes the feeling of buzzing and crackling with life force that merges people into a collective self, a tribe.
(3) Nature.
(4) Music.
(5) Visual design.
(6) Spiritual and religious awe.
(7) Stories of life and death.
(8) Epiphanies.
Keltner offers more details from his study of stories of awe, and then he tells stories of awe that he has heard.
Mike Rucker is a behavior scientist who was one of the charter members of the International Positive Psychology Association.
Rucker suggests that we classify all of our daily activities into the Play Model.
Then he encourages us to log all our activities and evaluate where they fall in this model. Our goal is to increase Pleasing and Living and decrease Yielding and Agonizing.
Rucker explores the key parts of human life—work, parenting, friendship, free time—and offers ideas for ways to include play.
Hal Newsom tells the true story of the summer he worked in Yellowstone Park as a soda jerk at Old Faithful in 1950. He and a friend hitchhike to the park from the Midwest in a series of misadventures with quirky folks who pick them up. After they arrive in the park, Newsom tells the stories of his days and nights in the park, searching for bears, swimming in a hot spot on the Firehole River, celebrating Christmas in July, visiting the Tetons, hiking the back country, dancing at an event for park employees...all experiences I had while working in the park a quarter of a century after Newsom.
I've always wanted to write the story of my summer in Yellowstone, and I'm committed to doing so this year. It gives me hope that it took Newsome over fifty years to write down his story.
I woke up around midnight last night unexpectedly, and, in an attempt to go back to sleep, started listening to an audiobook. I've had The Yellow Wallpaper on my list to read for The Classics Club for a long time, and I had just found an audiobook on Hoopla yesterday, so I decided to start it when I woke up in the night.
Well, I was able to start it and finish it! It was only forty-five minutes, a little over sixty pages. I had no idea it was so short, or perhaps I would have read it long ago.
It's a story with a fascinating point-of-view. Our main character is a wife with a husband and a young baby. The family has come to stay in a manor house for three months. The wife tells the story of her experiences in the house where she stays most of the time in an old nursery room covered with yellow wallpaper. The wallpaper grows more and more frightening to the wife as she seems to withdraw further and further into herself.
A very emotional read.
Cara Romero has been laid off in her mid-50s after working at a factory making lamps for many years. She tells the story of her life to an employment counselor in a series of twelve sessions.
First line:
“My name is Cara Romero, and I came to this country because my husband wanted to kill me.”
From page 56:
“The new manager of our building came this morning to inspect the apartment. This is what they do, supposedly document repairs that have to be done. But I know the truth: it's to find reasons to throw us out.”
I felt compelled to read A Country Year right after I finished Pilgrim at Tinker Creek. I vaguely remembered thinking A Country Year reminded me of the Annie Dillard book when I read both of these the first time long ago. And I would say A Country Year still reminds me of Pilgrim at Tinker Creek. Both are memoirs. Both are stories of women who spend time alone with nature. Both have aspects of moving-and-starting-over tales. Both are satisfying tales, but I would say that Hubbell spends less time contemplating the Big Ideas that living in nature evokes.
Sue Hubbell tells the story of her life after she is living her own as a beekeeper on a Missouri plot of land. It's a story of struggle and difficulty; Hubbell is quick to quell all the romantic notions of the back-to-the-land folks prominent in the time in which the book was written.
There are lively stories about Brown Recluse spiders and snakes and termites and Black Widows, and I don't think I've read a clearer account of life working with bees.
Xiomara Batista, a young Latinx in Harlem, finds she can only speak of her true experiences and her true feelings in the poetry she writes constantly in her notebook.
Xiomara and her mother conflict over religion and Xiomara's desire to have a boyfriend. Xiomara is closed off from most of her teachers and fellow students at the high school. Her twin brother gives her a notebook and encourages her to write about her experiences and her feelings, and Xiomara does this, and here in the notebook, Xiomara discovers her gifts.
This is a beautiful story of a daughter and her mother as they navigate the difficult waters of leaving a child-adult relationship and moving toward an adult-adult relationship. It's the story of a girl trying to find her own voice, trying to do and say the things that seem right and true for her.
And it's all told in free verse.
If you are a writer or an artist of any size or sort, and you are curious about what are the routines other writers and artists (of any size or sort) established to help them achieve fame, fortune, and all the other things that writers and artists—perhaps secretly, perhaps not—hope for...If this is you, then this is your book.
I've read it all, and let me tell you, there's no one True Way to Make Art. Some work at night; some work in the day. Some organize their workspace down to the location of their pencils and pens; some work in any available space. Some work crazy-fast; others barely produce anything each day.
That seems to take the pressure off, somehow. And it's really fun to read about all the ways these folks work.