Contains spoilers
2025 Review:
I decided to reread this in memory of the author, an old friend on Goodreads back when I first discovered the m/m genre in the early 2010s, when it was still niche, not yet mainstream. That was really a special time on the site that I remember so fondly for the community we had, lasting friendships that were formed, and SO many interesting and entertaining conversations we all had in the comments of reviews and in groups. Most of those people are no longer active on Goodreads, and the ones I am still friends with communicate with me through other apps. I had noticed that Emma was no longer reviewing m/m books, and wished she were, because she was one of the few who very closely matched my dark tastes. I always valued her reviews for that reason. I only found out the other day that she had been battling cancer, and passed away very recently.
It's a painful reminder of how short life is, and how important it is to value our time with loved ones. I wanted to read this story again so that Emma's words could live on in my mind. Reading the author bio at the end broke my heart.
This novella was even better the second time around. It has been nearly 11 years since I read it the first time, so I'd forgotten most of it. After reading mainstream m/m these past few years, it really makes me appreciate the unique, boundary-pushing, skilled writing that was easier to find back then, before it was drowned out by truck loads of cliched fluffy romances, or "dark" romances that are just silly and over the top instead of truly gripping tales like The Arroyo. I did not realize at the time how spoiled I was.
My old review is accurate. I'm definitely still evil 😈 I loved this story. So dark, also with my favorite kink, great world building; I felt their despair and rage and hope, loved their resilience and their connection to one another. It felt fitting, given the hellscape my country is becoming. I saved so many quotes. Certain parts were VERY cathartic, considering my own helpless rage about the dehumanization of so many people that I've witnessed the past few years. Thank you, Emma. 💔
Original 2014 Review:
This story reminded me that I am slightly evil, because my response to the scene with Isaac and Miller at the end was YESSSSS.
DNF @64%
Far too sweet and sappy for me, and it has become so repetitive that I can't read anymore. It's just constant declarations of love and devotion, along with a sex scene every chapter, with short little bursts of danger that are quickly resolved, then back to declarations of love and more sex, ad infinitum. I think they're exchanging their third set of rings now?? The "plot" is so lacking in details, it's like reading a summary of a book rather than the book itself.
Despite the very slow pace, Lucifer's transition from innocence and naivety to pride, embrace of debauchery, and the belief he could defeat God still felt too rushed to me. I really enjoyed parts of it, but the rest felt like a slog. It didn't help that I'm personally not a fan of flowery language, although I admit it was appropriate, given the subject matter.
Main novel ending: 5 stars
Extras: 3 stars
Meatbun masterfully weaves together intricate plots in a way that few authors can accomplish. This in combination with characters whose story rips my heart to shreds and pieces it back together is like my holy grail.
After that emotional ordeal, the AU short story couldn't compare!
I'll just let my Comedy Central boys summarize my reaction for me:
<img src="http://cdn0.sbnation.com/imported_assets/1843161/colbert-jaw-drop.gif"/>
<img src="http://media.tumblr.com/b5e946fd3c44fb224930594d79dc4e32/tumblr_inline_mo94a32ccO1qz4rgp.gif"/>
<img src="http://www.reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/popcorn_jon_stewart.gif"/>
DNF @ 45%
Every character in this book pisses me off. No one communicates. The MC barely says a word to anyone, and he has two guys immediately “fall in love” with him despite knowing nothing about him. There is zero character or relationship development. He also spends half his time in their presence pulling his hoodie over his erection. Seriously, that happened so often it felt like that's all he ever did in their presence.
I'm tired of being strung along waiting to find out what the big secret is, and I no longer have any fucks to give.
DNF @ 15%
This book reads more like a rough draft. It's riddled with errors that any standard word processing program would have flagged. Here are a few examples:
“And up five flights of stepped I go.”
“Don't you ever if your life touch me again.”
“Your master's work has more emphasis on research then actual field study.”
I like the book cover, and the author does a good job of describing the environment and atmosphere, but they get too bogged down in extraneous details. I don't recall reading any actual thoughts of the main character, which left me feeling disconnected from him. It felt more like reading a description of what's happening in a play or movie rather than reading a book.
I stuck it out as long as I could, but I was too annoyed by the errors and writing style, I felt no connection to the characters, and the plot failed to hook my interest.
I am truly blown away. This series has made me reflect so much on psychology, theology, human connection (love in particular, but not just that), the evolution of societal norms, and more. I was surprised how much of it seems so relevant to current events, at a time when I've felt that everything is changing so rapidly for the worse, and how history repeats itself, yet most refuse to learn from it. It's comforting in some ways to be reminded that there will always be those who will fight against the powerful for the sake of the oppressed, though they are outnumbered, and risk great harm or death in doing so.
Apart from one scene in this book where I felt that the actions of someone did not believably match their intelligence or character, the book was spectacularly written, so I forgive the author for that one scene. This final book was brutally emotional, and I would have it no other way. I'm in awe of authors who can evoke such strong feelings with their stories. I highly recommend this to anyone who appreciates books that make you think, and characters who are deeply flawed and complex, but be aware that this series does not shy away from dark themes (murder, rape, abuse, and of course, torture).
This is actually so good, wtf. There is such a stark difference between older books like this and the current trash that has overtaken the m/m genre. Even though the first 60% of this book wasn't m/m, the characters and their stories were so well written that it kept my interest and I actually enjoyed them. One of them even made me cry (in a good way). I was like Murderbot having an emotion.
Anyway, I was so happy to read more of Layle and Elsdon in the second half, but I won't spoil it by saying more.
P.S. Friends, if you're getting sick of the formulaic shit on Kindle Unlimited, try switching to Kobo Plus! A lot of these books with actual plot, character development, and unique ideas are on there, and the subscription is cheaper. Also, Amazon sucks for locking authors into exclusivity contracts. Fuck monopolies!