Avra

I love love the audiobook.

 I can't believe it's done. I stayed up late almost everyday, the past few days because I just couldn't stop reading. I need someone to erase my memory so I can experience all that this book was all over again and meet these characters and fall in love with them again and again. I don't even know where I would begin. I loved everything about this after like chapter 3. I have no idea why I struggled to start this book so much, and while I regret missing out on it for so long, I'm so enamored with it right now that I don't care.

I love Dante. I love Vivian, and I love their love. 5 stars or 6 don't even begin to cover it. This book is now one of my all-time favorites, and I haven't found one to say this about since back in September, I'm 99% sure. The way they fell in love and the way everything was handled and how they found their way back to each other. I found myself wanting to squeal, scream, and cry every other page. The plotlines, the spice, the yearning, the bond between these two characters, the love and the understanding, and all of their moments. Their dates...and their quiet moments. My heart got ripped out of my chest and was slowly put back together in the best and most endearing way. It could've had like 100 more pages or even more, and I wouldn't have complained for a single second. In fact, I need more. I just know I will be thinking about them every day after today. That epilogue was beautiful and everything i wanted. 

I don't honestly know what to say about this book, other than what I've already said while reading it. it's the saddest, most devastating, gut wrenching book I've ever read but i was also glued to it. I was stuck between needing to know what happens and for the characters to get their happy ending (IT BETTER BE A HAPPY ENDING OR ELSE I DON'T KNOW) but also, I feel like I have bonded with many of the characters. stacey - my girl who doesn't deserve any of this and I rooted to get away from everyone. and I mean, everyone. I cried for her, my heart shattered again and again. she deserves so much better and I won't go more into that because I will be ranting forever. kade surprised me by how much he grew on me. I love him. I love him and stacey. THA FLASHBACKS. their flashbacks have my heart and I'm enamored at the fact that they were each other's first everything. their baby girl. the poor baby who would've been so loved. I hate the satan, satan's husband, their annoying spawn of a daughter,  chris the psychotic son of a b*tch with a burning passion. honestly, I can't think of fictional characters that I have hated more than them. stacey's father. fuck him. the character who wormed his way to my heart unexpectedly was base. he deserves so much better. luciella doesn't deserve him, even though I've tried to understand where she is coming from. no, fuck that. stacey is my number one and if I'm honest, if she gets a happy ending of any kind I'll be happy. but I need to see kade and base rescued and healing. the ending, I can't even go anywhere near that. definitely check trigger warnings and I wouldn't suggest it if you are someone who can't distance himself from fictional situations. major part of this is rough. truly rough. I hate how chris was the one who was trying to “protect her” at the end. I can say so much more. from kade finding out the truth and his crash. the voice mail. the party scenes. everything. the writing kept me much more interested in this than the first book. it had pain, pain and more pain. I wanted to cry. I did cry and I wanted you throw up at certain points. I will be starting the last book ASAP because I refuse to sit with that ending for long. five painful stars.

6 stars. every star possible for being incredible. I'm not going to go into detail on everything that was beautiful and amazing in this because I'll end up writing an essay over every chapter. I wouldn't change a single thing about anything. normally, I would be saying that I would have liked a bit more suspense and the danger element buut I was actually very satisfied with everything about it. I loved the communication between them and the trust that slowly built. I love West. I love Nora so so much. my girl. my heart broke at the final chapters only to be put back together in the best way. the confessions were beautiful and had me teared eyed. the way that they both cared for each other and the way they spoke to each other and about each other. everything.

absolutely everything and I can't wait for paige to put rafe through it in the second book.

I found a new book to join my all-time favorites. the spicy scenes were done so well and all felt so meaningful. the patience. I'm obsessed with how open they were with each other and authentically themselves. his reassurance that he would never get angry with her and that he actually never did. he always wanted to hear her honest opinion and fears and anger no matter what. AND he created a safe space for her to do that. to be that with each other. the jealousy was done so well and how real it was throughout the whole book, even if they tried to lie to themselves. they both knew it and I think they fell in love much earlier than they realized. by vivienne's party, in my interpretation, they were already halfway there.

also, the way that he made her keep him to high standards that they had talked about for others. he didn't want her to settle for him. no. he wanted her to set even higher standards for him to reach because he didn't think he deserved her. he made her demand those things of him. the open way that they talked during the card game and the way that he also offered those pieces of himself to her so freely and honestly. he helped her feel more comfortable in herself and her wants and desires and her demands. he bought her the toys and encouraged her without ever wanting anything really in return. he yearned. I fully believe he would have lost fairhaven for her (which is a place I also loved and the cat) but she never would let him and they married out of pure love. they are obsessed with each other and I'm obsessed with them. it is a very long book in 500 pages but i would have gladly and easily read 500 more about them. their wedding in every detail possible and their night. their honeymoon. anything and everything. not for one second did I want to complain for it to be shorter. I was sad when I realized I was close to it being over. and I'll be rereading at some point because I just love nora and west that much.

I wrote the essay anyway. Merry Christmas!!

I love everything about this. everything.