Emma Goto
When I saw my favourite book roasting podcast (If Books Could Kill) covered this book, I figured I'd read it first and then see how the podcast would roast it.
The book posits that thanks to feminism, women no longer need to rely on marriage (and men) for financial stability. But that it has left men in a weird spot where their societally defined role as a breadwinner hasn't really been updated with the times.
The author offers 3 solutions to try and help men in today's society:
- Start boys a year later than girls at school to account for the different rates at which boys and girls mature. The podcast raises a good point that a) what do you do with childcare for the boys for an extra year and b) won't that cause stigma because it sends a message that boys are dumber than girls (at a young age anyway?)
- Similar to the STEM drive for women, we should be having a HEAL drive for men to get them into traditionally "caring" roles like nursing, teaching etc.
- Men and women get 6 months paid parental leave each - which ties into the idea of making childcare a bigger role in a man's life, since being the breadwinner is no longer the default option. The author does say though that maybe women can handle more of the younger years while men take on the older years... Could be interesting but not sure I agree.
Points 2 and 3 sound good, although it sounds quite expensive to get governments to implement. HEAL roles are criminally underpaid, and I feel like are less respected as professions in society - maybe bringing more men into the field could inadvertently help fix this as it becomes less of a "woman's job"?
And similarly with parental leave, at the end of the day women having to do more of the childcare is the real career killer, so we need to remove that assumed responsibility as much as possible so I'm in full agreement there.
However the author also doesn't think we need gender parity in STEM - his reasoning being that although it's taboo to say, some women are more likely to tend towards "caring" roles as a gender, and so maybe we should aim for a slightly lower number (I forget what he suggested, maybe 40/60?)
He also points to statistics where the gender ratio in STEM is closer to even in poorer countries, but surprisingly still very skewed in richer countries that have better gender equality overall - and so posits that this is because women are more likely to enter STEM when they need to financially, rather than because they truly want to do it as a career.
... A quick Google about this finds a study which terms this as the "Gender Equality Paradox" and that this could just be because the male/female stereotypes are stronger in richer countries, so it seems like the author may be wrong on that point. STEM does pay more, and so if we want to close the gender pay gap we probably should continue to aim for parity as much as possible.
Listening to the podcast afterwards, it went less roasty, and was more a good faith take on the topic. I only ended up getting halfway through it before being distracted by other things. Although the comments on Spotify were all pretty outraged that the podcast hosts went too easy on the book, I do think we need more conversations like this. I think people get a bit outraged because women's rights isn't really a "solved" issue and we still have a long way to go so it's like, why are we focusing on men? But I think with stuff like parental leave or a HEAL drive, it can help men and women at the same time, doesn't have to be an either or.
Originally posted at emgoto.com.
When I saw my favourite book roasting podcast (If Books Could Kill) covered this book, I figured I'd read it first and then see how the podcast would roast it.
The book posits that thanks to feminism, women no longer need to rely on marriage (and men) for financial stability. But that it has left men in a weird spot where their societally defined role as a breadwinner hasn't really been updated with the times.
The author offers 3 solutions to try and help men in today's society:
- Start boys a year later than girls at school to account for the different rates at which boys and girls mature. The podcast raises a good point that a) what do you do with childcare for the boys for an extra year and b) won't that cause stigma because it sends a message that boys are dumber than girls (at a young age anyway?)
- Similar to the STEM drive for women, we should be having a HEAL drive for men to get them into traditionally "caring" roles like nursing, teaching etc.
- Men and women get 6 months paid parental leave each - which ties into the idea of making childcare a bigger role in a man's life, since being the breadwinner is no longer the default option. The author does say though that maybe women can handle more of the younger years while men take on the older years... Could be interesting but not sure I agree.
Points 2 and 3 sound good, although it sounds quite expensive to get governments to implement. HEAL roles are criminally underpaid, and I feel like are less respected as professions in society - maybe bringing more men into the field could inadvertently help fix this as it becomes less of a "woman's job"?
And similarly with parental leave, at the end of the day women having to do more of the childcare is the real career killer, so we need to remove that assumed responsibility as much as possible so I'm in full agreement there.
However the author also doesn't think we need gender parity in STEM - his reasoning being that although it's taboo to say, some women are more likely to tend towards "caring" roles as a gender, and so maybe we should aim for a slightly lower number (I forget what he suggested, maybe 40/60?)
He also points to statistics where the gender ratio in STEM is closer to even in poorer countries, but surprisingly still very skewed in richer countries that have better gender equality overall - and so posits that this is because women are more likely to enter STEM when they need to financially, rather than because they truly want to do it as a career.
... A quick Google about this finds a study which terms this as the "Gender Equality Paradox" and that this could just be because the male/female stereotypes are stronger in richer countries, so it seems like the author may be wrong on that point. STEM does pay more, and so if we want to close the gender pay gap we probably should continue to aim for parity as much as possible.
Listening to the podcast afterwards, it went less roasty, and was more a good faith take on the topic. I only ended up getting halfway through it before being distracted by other things. Although the comments on Spotify were all pretty outraged that the podcast hosts went too easy on the book, I do think we need more conversations like this. I think people get a bit outraged because women's rights isn't really a "solved" issue and we still have a long way to go so it's like, why are we focusing on men? But I think with stuff like parental leave or a HEAL drive, it can help men and women at the same time, doesn't have to be an either or.
Originally posted at emgoto.com.
When I saw my favourite book roasting podcast (If Books Could Kill) covered this book, I figured I'd read it first and then see how the podcast would roast it.
The book posits that thanks to feminism, women no longer need to rely on marriage (and men) for financial stability. But that it has left men in a weird spot where their societally defined role as a breadwinner hasn't really been updated with the times.
The author offers 3 solutions to try and help men in today's society:
- Start boys a year later than girls at school to account for the different rates at which boys and girls mature. The podcast raises a good point that a) what do you do with childcare for the boys for an extra year and b) won't that cause stigma because it sends a message that boys are dumber than girls (at a young age anyway?)
- Similar to the STEM drive for women, we should be having a HEAL drive for men to get them into traditionally "caring" roles like nursing, teaching etc.
- Men and women get 6 months paid parental leave each - which ties into the idea of making childcare a bigger role in a man's life, since being the breadwinner is no longer the default option. The author does say though that maybe women can handle more of the younger years while men take on the older years... Could be interesting but not sure I agree.
Points 2 and 3 sound good, although it sounds quite expensive to get governments to implement. HEAL roles are criminally underpaid, and I feel like are less respected as professions in society - maybe bringing more men into the field could inadvertently help fix this as it becomes less of a "woman's job"?
And similarly with parental leave, at the end of the day women having to do more of the childcare is the real career killer, so we need to remove that assumed responsibility as much as possible so I'm in full agreement there.
However the author also doesn't think we need gender parity in STEM - his reasoning being that although it's taboo to say, some women are more likely to tend towards "caring" roles as a gender, and so maybe we should aim for a slightly lower number (I forget what he suggested, maybe 40/60?)
He also points to statistics where the gender ratio in STEM is closer to even in poorer countries, but surprisingly still very skewed in richer countries that have better gender equality overall - and so posits that this is because women are more likely to enter STEM when they need to financially, rather than because they truly want to do it as a career.
... A quick Google about this finds a study which terms this as the "Gender Equality Paradox" and that this could just be because the male/female stereotypes are stronger in richer countries, so it seems like the author may be wrong on that point. STEM does pay more, and so if we want to close the gender pay gap we probably should continue to aim for parity as much as possible.
Listening to the podcast afterwards, it went less roasty, and was more a good faith take on the topic. I only ended up getting halfway through it before being distracted by other things. Although the comments on Spotify were all pretty outraged that the podcast hosts went too easy on the book, I do think we need more conversations like this. I think people get a bit outraged because women's rights isn't really a "solved" issue and we still have a long way to go so it's like, why are we focusing on men? But I think with stuff like parental leave or a HEAL drive, it can help men and women at the same time, doesn't have to be an either or.
Originally posted at emgoto.com.
When I saw my favourite book roasting podcast (If Books Could Kill) covered this book, I figured I'd read it first and then see how the podcast would roast it.
The book posits that thanks to feminism, women no longer need to rely on marriage (and men) for financial stability. But that it has left men in a weird spot where their societally defined role as a breadwinner hasn't really been updated with the times.
The author offers 3 solutions to try and help men in today's society:
- Start boys a year later than girls at school to account for the different rates at which boys and girls mature. The podcast raises a good point that a) what do you do with childcare for the boys for an extra year and b) won't that cause stigma because it sends a message that boys are dumber than girls (at a young age anyway?)
- Similar to the STEM drive for women, we should be having a HEAL drive for men to get them into traditionally "caring" roles like nursing, teaching etc.
- Men and women get 6 months paid parental leave each - which ties into the idea of making childcare a bigger role in a man's life, since being the breadwinner is no longer the default option. The author does say though that maybe women can handle more of the younger years while men take on the older years... Could be interesting but not sure I agree.
Points 2 and 3 sound good, although it sounds quite expensive to get governments to implement. HEAL roles are criminally underpaid, and I feel like are less respected as professions in society - maybe bringing more men into the field could inadvertently help fix this as it becomes less of a "woman's job"?
And similarly with parental leave, at the end of the day women having to do more of the childcare is the real career killer, so we need to remove that assumed responsibility as much as possible so I'm in full agreement there.
However the author also doesn't think we need gender parity in STEM - his reasoning being that although it's taboo to say, some women are more likely to tend towards "caring" roles as a gender, and so maybe we should aim for a slightly lower number (I forget what he suggested, maybe 40/60?)
He also points to statistics where the gender ratio in STEM is closer to even in poorer countries, but surprisingly still very skewed in richer countries that have better gender equality overall - and so posits that this is because women are more likely to enter STEM when they need to financially, rather than because they truly want to do it as a career.
... A quick Google about this finds a study which terms this as the "Gender Equality Paradox" and that this could just be because the male/female stereotypes are stronger in richer countries, so it seems like the author may be wrong on that point. STEM does pay more, and so if we want to close the gender pay gap we probably should continue to aim for parity as much as possible.
Listening to the podcast afterwards, it went less roasty, and was more a good faith take on the topic. I only ended up getting halfway through it before being distracted by other things. Although the comments on Spotify were all pretty outraged that the podcast hosts went too easy on the book, I do think we need more conversations like this. I think people get a bit outraged because women's rights isn't really a "solved" issue and we still have a long way to go so it's like, why are we focusing on men? But I think with stuff like parental leave or a HEAL drive, it can help men and women at the same time, doesn't have to be an either or.
Originally posted at emgoto.com.
A popular Japanese YA novel about 7 children who visit a mysterious castle via a portal that suddenly opens in their mirror. The one thing they all have in common - they all are not attending their local middle school.
The main character Kokoro is introduced to us as someone who refuses to leave the leave the house due to anxiety. Although her mother does try at first for her to attend an alternative school, she also seems pretty willing to let her daughter sit around at home all day. (Which works well for the story, since it gives Kokoro plenty of time to visit the castle).
I'm not sure if whether we are supposed to empathise with Kokoro or pity her? But she doesn't start off as much of a likeable character. The book continues along for over 6 months as the children get to know each other and reveal their backstories, while knowing that the castle will close before the next year school year begins.
I read a lot slower in Japanese, and I felt like the middle really dragged on which put me off from finishing it for months, but things finally picked up towards the end and I got through the last third in one day while on a long-distance plane trip. There was one twist at the end which I did see coming, and another one that I didn't - which I feel did a pretty good job of wrapping things up neatly.
I think it's not a bad one for language learning, but personally not something I'd recommend if I was reading it purely for the plot.
Originally posted at www.emgoto.com.
A popular Japanese YA novel about 7 children who visit a mysterious castle via a portal that suddenly opens in their mirror. The one thing they all have in common - they all are not attending their local middle school.
The main character Kokoro is introduced to us as someone who refuses to leave the leave the house due to anxiety. Although her mother does try at first for her to attend an alternative school, she also seems pretty willing to let her daughter sit around at home all day. (Which works well for the story, since it gives Kokoro plenty of time to visit the castle).
I'm not sure if whether we are supposed to empathise with Kokoro or pity her? But she doesn't start off as much of a likeable character. The book continues along for over 6 months as the children get to know each other and reveal their backstories, while knowing that the castle will close before the next year school year begins.
I read a lot slower in Japanese, and I felt like the middle really dragged on which put me off from finishing it for months, but things finally picked up towards the end and I got through the last third in one day while on a long-distance plane trip. There was one twist at the end which I did see coming, and another one that I didn't - which I feel did a pretty good job of wrapping things up neatly.
I think it's not a bad one for language learning, but personally not something I'd recommend if I was reading it purely for the plot.
Originally posted at www.emgoto.com.
The second book in the “Before the Coffee Gets Cold” series, which centres around a Japanese cafe with the unique power to let its visitors time travel, but only within the bounds of the cafe, and before their cup of coffee gets cold. The original title for this book is “before the secret gets out”, and so the stories of the time travellers are themed around loss, whether it's travelling forward in time to confirm your own death, or travelling backwards to meet a deceased friend or lover.
As the title would suggest, in some of the stories they end up accidentally revealing to the person that they are going to die. It's written from the POV of the time traveller, who has their own struggles, but gosh. Letting someone know they are going to die soon is such a horrible thing to place on someone, right? And I'm surprised this plot point is just skipped over in the stories. Nonetheless, there are some bittersweet moments in the stories as the travellers learn how to move on after a loved one's death.
I read this one in Japanese, so for language learners I would say it’s quite good. Since the entire story takes place within the cafe, and the story is mostly dialog, it helps to keep things simple (complex plots are hard enough to keep up with, let alone in another language).
Originally posted at www.emgoto.com.
The second book in the “Before the Coffee Gets Cold” series, which centres around a Japanese cafe with the unique power to let its visitors time travel, but only within the bounds of the cafe, and before their cup of coffee gets cold. The original title for this book is “before the secret gets out”, and so the stories of the time travellers are themed around loss, whether it's travelling forward in time to confirm your own death, or travelling backwards to meet a deceased friend or lover.
As the title would suggest, in some of the stories they end up accidentally revealing to the person that they are going to die. It's written from the POV of the time traveller, who has their own struggles, but gosh. Letting someone know they are going to die soon is such a horrible thing to place on someone, right? And I'm surprised this plot point is just skipped over in the stories. Nonetheless, there are some bittersweet moments in the stories as the travellers learn how to move on after a loved one's death.
I read this one in Japanese, so for language learners I would say it’s quite good. Since the entire story takes place within the cafe, and the story is mostly dialog, it helps to keep things simple (complex plots are hard enough to keep up with, let alone in another language).
Originally posted at www.emgoto.com.
The second book in the “Before the Coffee Gets Cold” series, which centres around a Japanese cafe which has the unique power to let its visitors go back in time. The original title for this book is “before the secret gets out”, and the short stories in this one mostly involve going back in time to meet a deceased friend or lover.
As the title would suggest, in some of the stories they end up accidentally revealing to the person that they are going to die. It's written from the POV of the time traveller, who has their own struggles, but gosh. Letting someone know they are going to die soon is such a horrible thing to place on someone, right? And I'm surprised this plot point is kind of just skipped over in the stories.
I read this one in Japanese, so for language learners I would say it’s quite good. Since one of the time travelling rules are that you can’t leave the cafe, and the story is mostly dialog, it helps to keep things simple (complex plots are hard enough to keep up with, let alone in another language).
The second book in the “Before the Coffee Gets Cold” series, which centres around a Japanese cafe which has the unique power to let its visitors go back in time. The original title for this book is “before the secret gets out”, and the short stories in this one mostly involve going back in time to meet a deceased friend or lover.
As the title would suggest, in some of the stories they end up accidentally revealing to the person that they are going to die. It's written from the POV of the time traveller, who has their own struggles, but gosh. Letting someone know they are going to die soon is such a horrible thing to place on someone, right? And I'm surprised this plot point is kind of just skipped over in the stories.
I read this one in Japanese, so for language learners I would say it’s quite good. Since one of the time travelling rules are that you can’t leave the cafe, and the story is mostly dialog, it helps to keep things simple (complex plots are hard enough to keep up with, let alone in another language).
Loosely based on a true story, about Black women and girls in 1970s America who were given birth control without being properly informed of the risks and side effects, and/or being sterilised without actually realising it.
The story follows Civil, a nurse who helps two of these girls, and ends up becoming almost like a member of their family - which is quite emotionally conflicting for both her and the family as she see-saws between her role as nurse and pseudo-mother figure.
Overall it’s quite an unsettling book.
Originally posted at www.emgoto.com.
Loosely based on a true story, about Black women and girls in 1970s America who were given birth control without being properly informed of the risks and side effects, and/or being sterilised without actually realising it.
The story follows Civil, a nurse who helps two of these girls, and ends up becoming almost like a member of their family - which is quite emotionally conflicting for both her and the family as she see-saws between her role as nurse and pseudo-mother figure.
Overall it’s quite an unsettling book.
Originally posted at www.emgoto.com.
So this won Goodreads scifi award for 2024. I was a bit iffy at first, since Goodreads is the kind of place where ACOTAR wins awards, and so I wasn't sure if this book just won the scifi award on a technicality because although it has time travel it didn't sound very scifi-y. But I was pleasantly surprised!
The story centres around people who were destined to die in their original timeline, but instead brought out before this happens to live in 21st century London. The secretive Ministry that brings them out obviously doesn't have altruism in mind when they do this, though. As they struggle to adjust, the Ministry also comes under fire from enemy spies. And there's a (good) romance side plot too.
There's a lot happening in this book, and I almost feel like it could have been simplified a bit by removing a side plot or two. Also time travel is always a confusing topic to write about with changing timelines and the like. But overall a really great read.
Originally posted at www.emgoto.com.
So this won Goodreads scifi award for 2024. I was a bit iffy at first, since Goodreads is the kind of place where ACOTAR wins awards, and so I wasn't sure if this book just won the scifi award on a technicality because although it has time travel it didn't sound very scifi-y. But I was pleasantly surprised!
The story centres around people who were destined to die in their original timeline, but instead brought out before this happens to live in 21st century London. The secretive Ministry that brings them out obviously doesn't have altruism in mind when they do this, though. As they struggle to adjust, the Ministry also comes under fire from enemy spies. And there's a (good) romance side plot too.
There's a lot happening in this book, and I almost feel like it could have been simplified a bit by removing a side plot or two. Also time travel is always a confusing topic to write about with changing timelines and the like. But overall a really great read.
Originally posted at www.emgoto.com.
The book's plot summary hooked me - the pair meet via a Reddit "Am I The Asshole" thread, and it turns out to they are both similarly cursed with having their exes immediately found "the one" right after their breakup.
As well as the romance itself, there's a side plot surrounding some mental health issues and unresolved drama with their family.
I think what makes a good romance for me is the buildup and the "pining" stage but it's mostly skips that and instead the main complication is the character's childhood trauma and issues with forming relationships with other people which is kinda meh to read about (sorry).
Originally posted at www.emgoto.com.
The book's plot summary hooked me - the pair meet via a Reddit "Am I The Asshole" thread, and it turns out to they are both similarly cursed with having their exes immediately found "the one" right after their breakup.
As well as the romance itself, there's a side plot surrounding some mental health issues and unresolved drama with their family.
I think what makes a good romance for me is the buildup and the "pining" stage but it's mostly skips that and instead the main complication is the character's childhood trauma and issues with forming relationships with other people which is kinda meh to read about (sorry).
Originally posted at www.emgoto.com.
