Tea

This is a book that I'm a bit annoyed with myself about, primarily because I've had it sitting on my tbr for almost a year by now.

I think I happened to read this book at the perfect time for myself because I was spending a lot of time recently thinking about happiness and contentment, so reading this book provided an interesting new perspective on everything for me personally. Also, I might be an odd one out, but I really enjoyed reading Mia's perspective throughout the story. It happened to read relatively close to how I think I might react if I was in her situation, which meant that I was able to gloss over some of the faults more easily since it became more immersive for me.

While the mystery was a bit boring at times, I think what really kept me going throughout this entire book would have to be Eugene. This honestly, is another instance where he happened to remind me a lot of my brother, in his mannerisms but also inability to communicate with the ease that they want to. So I spent a decent chunk of the book intrigued about Eugene and wanting to learn more about him, allowing myself to go with the emotional roller coaster that came with this book.

I think the critique that stuck with me throughout the book was how there were moments where it felt a bit empty, or there were things that was skipped that I would've loved to get as a reader, but I understood why they were skipped for the sake of the book.

Overall, this was a fun read, I can see myself rereading it in the future and absolutely recommending it to others as a potentially fun read for them.

I read this book multiple years too late (not that I would've been able to read it earlier, it didn't exist but still).

I'm really torn about this book. For me right now, it honestly was a meh read. I couldn't easily follow the narrative tone (it felt like it switched character pov multiple times within a chapter), I didn't vibe with how it was written, and I really couldn't get invested into the story no matter how hard I tried. The first third of the book felt like it dragged, and the only part that was really interesting ended quickly and felt rather rushed through. Which was probably the point since it was a high-stakes situation (or as high-stakes as this book gets) and it would be best to get in and get out. It was an exploration, a fantasy slice-of-life, a dive into the world that would've enveloped my younger self and appeal to everything that they wanted out of a story. I think for me right now, this book ended up hovering around 3 to 3.5 stars. (I rated the book 4 stars to meet in the middle with my kid self, I might bump it up to 4.5 stars though.)

If it was my younger self reading this story, it would've easily been a 5 star or pretty dang close to it. It had the magic, it had the immersion, the humor, the characters practically leapt out of the page and felt like you could touch them, talk to them, learn more about them past what made it onto the page. I'm sure if I read this story a couple years ago, I would've been jealous of the cast. I would've loved to live in the magical kingdom and I probably would've thrived in it. It felt like home, a place that I could've had the chance to visit but I never got to. I loved how much of their lives was altered due to a child daring to dream, and dream, and dream. A child wanting a family, and a place of belonging, and a home, and a place of safety so strongly that it's changed everything for the cast. A glimmer of home that was inherently gifted but also carved out of love, home, yearning.

I would've loved this book several years ago, so it feels really bittersweet. I right now am unable to fully appreciate this story because it doesn't appeal to my tastes. But reading it felt like I was getting a treat that I thought I couldn't get because my parent's would've told me no, realized I'm an adult and got it anyways. It was healing, it was indulgent, it was doing that wild thing that I've always secretly wanted to do but never did until I realized I could and gave myself permission to do so.

My kid self loves this book and I worry that I don't indulge them enough in my life. It was nice getting a taste of home, of my childhood, of magic, and everything my life used to consist of. I think this book will hold a spot in my heart because of that. It made me feel like a child again and I miss being a child whose imagination was a blanket of comfort.

I don't quite know where to start. So I'll start talking about a line of thought that I have at the moment and hope that this turns out coherent in the end.

The overarching plot felt a bit lackluster, I mean I just finished the book (started it yesterday) and I'm struggling to remember what happened over the entire book. This could be me reading this entire book in about 4 to 5 hours (this is atypical of me, I try to read about 100 pages per day), so all the details have blurred together somewhat and I didn't allow myself to sit with the book as I was reading it. This could be taken as I was so engrossed and intrigued in the book I couldn't help myself but blast through it or I've caught myself in a bit of a reading kick. Regardless, I'm struggling to remember details and considering how I was fine putting the book down when I had about 30 pages left and go to sleep, probably says a lot about my feelings towards this book.

Throughout reading, I caught myself waiting until I was at another part with Kat as the pov. I don't think I was ever too interested in the mother/daughter dynamic and Kat's feelings towards Cleo (feeling like she's failed Cleo, wanting to reconnect but everything she does is wrong, Cleo distancing herself from Kat, etc.) but it was crucial since this is a large part of what drives everything that Kat does. I think I was more intrigued in her job however and just, I'm in awe and if I could figure out a good route to do what she does for a living, I think I would love to do it for a couple years.

Also, the title is absurd. I finished the book and reread the title and I was just gobsmacked I think. This title tells you so much about the book and while there are blatant hints throughout the book, that did make it feel like beating a dead horse (Cleo looks identical to Kat is one that's almost obnoxious with how often it comes up). I for some odd reason, didn't pick up on their frequency as a *hint, hint, nudge, nudge* and was only getting annoyed at how often some details were mentioned throughout the book (I swear Cleo looking like her mom was mentioned at least once every time we flipped to Cleo's pov. I got it, she has her mother's genes, can we get on with the plot?) I do think I'm not meant for mysteries though, since unlike another reviewer I couldn't tell who was the culprit within the first hundred pages. I don't even think that this person is even mentioned within the first hundred pages, now that I'm thinking about it. There is a lot of skirting around Kat's past and honestly, the reveal really fell flat for me. I think it might've been better to have the first introduction be in Kat's pov and then have Cleo find out about it.

Another reason I might've been more attached to Kat's pov is because Cleo's really did read like a lot of short stories. There was a beginning, stuff happened, then it ended at a good spot where I wouldn't mind not reading Cleo's pov again. While Kat's pov always left more questions in the air, a bit of tension hovering in the background within Kat's pov due to how much she has going on (no, seriously it's a lot. Like, I don't know how she's doing it physically in our universe and no wonder Cleo mentions a personality trait of Kat because it's required. Kat literally couldn't do her job or survive without that trait.) but also how clear her priorities are in life. She might seem put together externally but she really is screaming inside her head all the time but I doubt that she even knows she's doing this since she easily neglects herself.

I lost my train of thought but like, the end of the book particularly the romantic relationships that are happening in the book I did not see coming. Also, maybe you can be on good terms with your children but try not to be friends with them? That was a really tiny detail that bugged me the whole time.

If you're looking for dystopian, it's not in the room with us. It's going to be more accurate to approach this book as a romantasy that has a dystopian visual filter on it.

Otherwise, the things I liked about this book was few and far between. However, I really did enjoy reading the second half of the book, despite feeling like the first half was a bit of a drag at times.

There definitely were moments where the plot felt very vague, I couldn't understand why attraction was such a large factor throughout the book (this could just be me, not having enough life experience), some chapters it felt like were thrown in to simply beef up the page count and kinda allude to something else in the story or the characters. I am more of a person where even a good side character will help keep me reading and I fell in love with multiple characters throughout this book. I also loved the idea of sharing several reports/assignment grades throughout the book! It was really fun to see a bit more about the other characters and what they might've thought and could behave like.

The hard choices made honestly, were impossible to make especially in the situation that the mc was in. However, with every choice made, it becomes more clear that the mc prioritizes their conscience being as clear as possible, over the desires and wants of the other person. Then expects the person to forgive them within a couple months, since what happened was significantly better than what should've happened. The mc also is incredibly lucky that main romantic lead, happens to be who they are because if they weren't this book would be fundamentally different on so many different levels but also the plot (or what little there typically is there) would have to be different, since so many things that happened in this book only happened because the romantic lead is who they were.

Some of the twists throughout the book had me shook, others felt very cliche, some were easily predictable. Plus, plenty of people haunt the narrative. The main character at the beginning and end of the book they do feel a bit unrecognizable in some aspects in both a good and bad way, they're in a constant state of tug-of-war and they find comfort or solace in specific people. Almost a constant war inside them to do what they must to survive, but it also requires them to go against some of their most fundamental beliefs about themselves.