Tea

If you're looking for dystopian, it's not in the room with us. It's going to be more accurate to approach this book as a romantasy that has a dystopian visual filter on it.

Otherwise, the things I liked about this book was few and far between. However, I really did enjoy reading the second half of the book, despite feeling like the first half was a bit of a drag at times.

There definitely were moments where the plot felt very vague, I couldn't understand why attraction was such a large factor throughout the book (this could just be me, not having enough life experience), some chapters it felt like were thrown in to simply beef up the page count and kinda allude to something else in the story or the characters. I am more of a person where even a good side character will help keep me reading and I fell in love with multiple characters throughout this book. I also loved the idea of sharing several reports/assignment grades throughout the book! It was really fun to see a bit more about the other characters and what they might've thought and could behave like.

The hard choices made honestly, were impossible to make especially in the situation that the mc was in. However, with every choice made, it becomes more clear that the mc prioritizes their conscience being as clear as possible, over the desires and wants of the other person. Then expects the person to forgive them within a couple months, since what happened was significantly better than what should've happened. The mc also is incredibly lucky that main romantic lead, happens to be who they are because if they weren't this book would be fundamentally different on so many different levels but also the plot (or what little there typically is there) would have to be different, since so many things that happened in this book only happened because the romantic lead is who they were.

Some of the twists throughout the book had me shook, others felt very cliche, some were easily predictable. Plus, plenty of people haunt the narrative. The main character at the beginning and end of the book they do feel a bit unrecognizable in some aspects in both a good and bad way, they're in a constant state of tug-of-war and they find comfort or solace in specific people. Almost a constant war inside them to do what they must to survive, but it also requires them to go against some of their most fundamental beliefs about themselves.

I really thought that I would love this book when I first picked it up a couple months ago. I was only able to get about 50 pages in before I was unable to pick it back up and finish it over the past several weeks; however, the small snippet that I got really drew me into the story. I really enjoyed Joy's and Benny's relationship, wished that the podcast was real, and fell in love with Xander in the process. As the book proceeds and develops, the traits that characters held that I once really liked quickly became annoying (e.g. Benny's adoration of Joy and how distraught he is throughout this entire book was a major one for me). I also feel like I'm left wanting and wishing more depth within the book, its clear that the entire focus is on Joy and Benny because at the end, I realized that I didn't know much about any of the side characters despite feeling like getting even some more of that information would help to add layers to the story or flesh everyone out a bit more. While there is so much that can be inferred about the characters at the end of the day, every character feels a bit hollow and surface level. They're basically incredible puppets, they have a personality and feel real while reading the book but the moment that they're taken out of the context, the moment the story ends, they all feel a bit more on the empty side of the spectrum to me.

The following is going to be spoilers to the book, but will hopefully better demonstrate my point earlier about never really learning much about the characters through actually speaking about the characters and some of the things that I wish that I learned more about them. I do understand that ultimately, this is a book centered around Benny and Joy, so side character depth will need to be lessened to heighten the focus. However, the execution in the end feels as if the focus became too narrowed in on the pair and has completely neglected the rest. Granted though, it feels like we spend a lot of time in Benny's head and he doesn't care about anyone in the cast besides his family (sister, Joy, and his parents) so he doesn't know much about the side characters anyways.

For example, why Xander acts the way he does now it could be simply the author trying to tie a bit more of reality into the fictional world and show us that he never actually cared or loved Joy but rather that she was effectively the perfect medical case for him to dote over and ensure that she's totally reliant on him. But why does he want people to be totally and absolutely reliant on him? We know that this is something that's been a thing since he was a teenager and I'm left wishing that there was more information about Xander rather than leaving him as a greedy, manipulative and abusive (in all regards) who happened to strike gold and was trying to capitalize on everything. I want to learn more about Luna (why did she become a divorce lawyer for example), Charlotte (why is gardening her hobby and potential escapism method), Mallory (how she actually feels towards Xander beyond "its a bit complicated"), Quinn (how much did she actually know in the end), Emile (how did him and Charlotte get into their "helping friends when needed" business), and all the other side characters beyond the surface level depictions that we get from them.

All I can say is that I read this in like 6 hours. I couldn’t put the book down, I felt as if I was the pov character at times, I feel wrung out, this book has probably changed how I see the world now, and all I want is a taste of sunshine myself.

I’ve been majorly disconnected from reading for years and I think that this book has helped me remember why I like reading so much, why I used to be in love with it and now I’m relearning how to reach for it again. I love how gothic, dark, and how oppressive the atmosphere felt. Almost like a really heavy blanket lying atop you but you’re unsure if it’s providing comfort or trying to swallow you whole. There’s so much I like about this book but my brain feels very mushy, so I’ll end this “review” by saying that I wish I read this book earlier instead of having it sit around for a month.

I can't tell you how many times that I've nearly DNF'ed this book. While the essence of the story was well done (and honestly one of the only reasons why I kept reading it) I couldn't get past our main character and the writing style. It took me what felt like two months to try and read this book, which only kept getting extended because I couldn't stand to read more than a couple pages before I had to close it and walk away. In my opinion, the beginning is slow but there's enough happening to keep me going, then the middle was numbingly slow, and honestly my favorite part of this book was the last like 50 pages where everything has happening. I like the retelling of several legends, the fact there was clearly immense effort that went into the book, the ambiance of the story was fun too, alongside the side characters appearing throughout. This is probably one of the few stories where I wish it wen through a few more rounds of revision to be a bit more story-like rather than telling the reader every. single. beat. and. thing. that. happened. I don't regret struggling to read this for over a month, but this definitely is going to be a book that will be donated and promptly forgotten. One thing that I've learned is that a good cast and plot cannot make up for writing quality that I don't vibe with.

I will second the previous reviews in that this combined multiple elements, the mystery was very slow to unfold (at times it felt almost too slow and as if there wasn't any clues for me to pick up on but that could be due to how long it took for me to read the book), and the main character was painstakingly human.

I will admit upfront, that this story isn’t my cup of tea. There were multiple things that could’ve been adjusted (all of which is personal taste preferences, not the fault of the author) however, I can see why countless really enjoy the book!

If I could say the prose was simply how everything was written, I hate to say that I might’ve rated the book lower. However, in a way, the prose becomes a plot device. It’s frank and leaves nothing behind to be minced or obscured. Surface level, it’s a fun read and with every page, every husband, it only illuminates more about Hugo’s life. From beginning to end, it’s easy to see how every moment has altered her and how she’ll approach future situations, how everything (within her control) will be manipulated and ensure her success in the end.

Diving deeper, the story changes it goes from a girl wanting to succeed her mother’s dream, to a young adult where she wants everything and what worked before quickly becomes boring, to someone where the weight of everything begins to splinter parts of herself and she finally decides to choose herself over pursuit of the next greatest thing.

This also could’ve been viewed as a story about insecurity and that no matter how much you exploit it, how well it remains hidden, it doesn’t go away with more fame/money/accolades. It hurts to think that despite everything Hugo still believes that a large part of her career is due to her appearance, due to her ability to incite sexual desire in everyone around her. That when she hits a wall, the same trick (just in a different font) will almost always get her through it and more.

The dry, no-nonsense, repetitive (in my opinion) writing style is crucial to this story working as well as it has. It isn’t simply a way the plot is delivered, instead it becomes a part of the plot. It provides further insight into Hugo’s mind, how she was feeling and thinking about the current situation. It can easily feel detached, it could easily be a couple hundred pages too long, however everything ended up in the right balance.

For waiting several years to read it (I watched a WithCindy review several years ago all of it forgotten but the impact still lives on), I am definitely walking away having learned a lot, with a lot to think on and several things to delve deeper into and potentially analyze at a later date.

For example, how Hugo managed to state everything as plainly as possible, but she still manages to be a mystery and how that simply is a part of herself that she can’t give up, that there might’ve been truth hidden in the truth that she doesn’t know exist or can confront just yet. Almost making the mystery of Hugo something that creates a sense of allure of the world towards her, but a defense mechanism (or sorts, that phrasing feels a bit too harsh or too niche to best describe what I’m thinking) for what has gone unsaid throughout the story.