Katie

1.5 Stars

If you've ever continued to try something despite several unsuccessful attempts, you'll know how I felt coming into The One. Yet despite several issues apparent in the first two books, I decided I had to read this. I could reasonably guess how the series would end (or not), but I couldn't let go. If books were people, The Selection series would be that one former friend that you still stalk on Facebook, several years later.

Let's rewind to the first two books...

The characters were one-dimensional

* Queen Amberly was so perf
* King Clarkson was an asshole
* America was obsessed with Aspen
* Celeste was a psycho slut-bitch
* Maxon was condescending

The relationships were one-dimensional

* Why do American/Aspen like each other?
* Why does Maxon like America?
* “Out of sight, out of mind.”

The writing was awful

* Irrelevant political filler
* Maxon hates America cause he doesn't have time for her shit 24/7
* America is super desperate/dense/dramatic

The One

The One HAD to be better right? RIGHT??

NOPE. The same exact issues are still present in this book, with some ridiculous plot twists to top it all off. The entire series, Maxon is going to choose America until the last 20 pages when he finds out Aspen is the guy she used to love. Then Maxon gets downright abusive and kicks America out and is going to choose Kriss until basically every second-tier character gets killed. I mean everybody like King Clarkson (convenient), Queen Amberly (sad), and Celeste (random). After that, Maxon realizes his TWU WUV for America, immediately forgives her with no discussion of Aspen, and chooses to marry her. Gotcha, Kriss!

Then there's the whole subplot with the rebels. This has been bothering me throughout the series, but it was seriously hard to ignore in The One! First of all, there is a vague distinction made between the rebels, which is basically the “good” ones saying, “No, no, we're the GOOD rebels, we like, volunteer on Saturdays.” There are full-on chapters dedicated to this rebel bullshit - America and Maxon making rebel friends and hanging out with them - so it's like Cass took criticism of that subplot and decided to actually TRY HARDER. NO. Honestly what is the point of it? To give conflict to the story? Because after everybody is killed, we never hear anything else about that. Nothing was resolved! Did they arrest anyone? Did they find their hideout? Did they figure out why they were attacking? NOPE, JUST LET IT GO! JUST FORGET IT EVER HAPPENED: The motto of The Selection series.

The worst part is, let's be honest, if I can score a copy of The Heir from a friend, I'll read it. See you guys then! ;)

The Goddess Queen
3.5/5
This story delved into Calliope/Hera's backstory. It takes us all the way back to when the Titans were first overthrown and the Council was first formed. It goes through how she got rejected by Henry and ended up with Zeus/Walter. After reading this, I felt a little more sympathetic towards Calliope, but not too much. She's still pretty evil on her own.

The Lovestruck Goddess
3/5
This short story was all about Ava/Aphrodite. She loves to fool around and is being forced to marry Hephaestus when she loves Ares. She eventually runs off with Ares where they live in bliss for a while. Ares starts to leave more and more and when an attractive stranger shows up on the island, Ava can't resist making out with him. Too bad it's Hephaestus in disguise! The whole story I thought Ava was being a brat and stomping all over poor Hephaestus' feelings just because he's got a limp and isn't “perfect”. What a bitch move.

Goddess of the Underworld
3.5/5
This is all about Persephone's wedding and marriage to Henry and why her and Ava have bad blood. It really makes the whole council, including her mother, look bad because geez do they really not care about her feelings! Everyone is telling her it's going to be okay and squashing her worries and doubts while there were alarms going off in my head about the marriage. I don't blame Persephone for the choices she made.

God of Thieves
2.5/5
I thought this was a little boring. This told James/Hermes' story of how he went off and saved some random people in feudal England and fell in love with a girl there. To try to better assimilate into modern society, they change their names to stuff more “normal.” I didn't care for this at all.

God of Darkness
3/5
The final novella is all about Henry. This follows his desire to fade, the council's decision to start the Goddess Test, and the deaths of all the girls. It ends on Kate's 7th birthday, with Henry meeting her for the first time. I sort of liked the better look into Henry's head, but it was weird that he was thinking about a 7 year old as his wife.

Color me shocked: I liked Goddess Interrupted! This is because of one main reason:

I hated the first book. Absolutely hated it. Straight up 1 star. But this book?? WHAT A TURNAROUND. I mean, it's not the best book ever but relative to how I felt before? Amazing. In order to highlight the differences, I'll evaluate the points I discussed in my review of The Goddess Test.

Kate

Before: Kate is whiny, cries a lot, and does little else.

Now: Kate is a tough-ass bitch. But in a good way, like she doesn't take crap from anyone. Someone won't tell her what happened and she says “spill, bitch!” Someone tells her she'll be safer if she stays behind and she says “f- that!” Those are exaggerations but it was along those lines (although not as aggressive ;)). She decides she's gonna put herself in harm's way in order to help someone else, which is obviously a huge step forward for her. She also doesn't cry every other page. I really grew to respect her in this book. A 10,000% better character.

Henry/Hades

Before: Struggles with his love for Kate, also a sensitive virgin.

Now: Henry changed relatively little compared to Kate. He still struggled with his love for Kate, but we didn't see from his POV very often (or at all, idk). As a result, he just seemed very distant and cold for much of the book. I'll get into that later. I could see his love for his family and willingness to protect them, so it felt pretty realistic and not like he was a “love everybody or nobody” person. We also find out he wasn't a virgin before Kate so we can all breathe a sigh of relief that stereotype wasn't used after all.

Romance

Before: For 80%, Kate agrees to keep her mom alive. Then she decides she NEEDS Henry in order to live.

Now: Another COMPLETE turnaround! Kate struggles between feelings for her husband that rejects her, and a boy who loves her. I'm not going to lie, this emotional struggle was easily the best part of this entire book, forget the plot! Carter wrote these scenes with such depth that I very strongly connected with Kate. When she was worrying about Henry's family, she was also juggling Henry ignoring her, James fighting for her, and trying to accept Henry's obvious love for his first wife, Persephone. When Kate saw Henry and Persephone in her vision, my heart broke right along with her. The feels got to me!!

Plot (or lack thereof)

Before: Ooh, arbitrary matchmaking tests!

Now: The plot was still a little dumb. Calliope/Hera is in love with Henry/Hades but he only sees her as a sister, so in order to exact her revenge she tries to release the Titan Cronus. In order to keep Cronus captive, Kate must find Persephone, as she is the only one who knows how to lock/unlock the gate. Obviously this is awkward since they're both romantically tangled with Henry. Kate sticks it out and manages to keep Cronus locked up, but for who knows how long.

Honestly, I enjoyed Goddess Interrupted so much that I don't even care about any of it's flaws. :)

2 Stars

I'll keep this short. This was pretty much what I expected after having read The Goddess Test. Short, but not very sweet. I do feel like I need to make two points:

1. James set up this whole thing just to prove a point? He could've ruined people's lives...

2. If I were Kate, I would feel really uncomfortable spending six months with James considering the creepy comments he makes. That would get really old, really fast.

I received my copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

Abandoned.

Once in a while, there comes a book that you just can't finish. It might be that the plot is terrible or there's too much exposition. No matter how hard you try, you can't get past the shortcomings long enough to actually read the words on the pages. Seeker is one of those books for me. I gave up on it at 65% after trying to read it for like six months, maybe even longer than that. SIX MONTHS! That is a long time to try to read the same book.

At first the story was interesting, but then as things went on and got more complicated, I realized nothing was being explained and I was pretty lost. Quin and her friends Shinobu (guess what race he is, go on) and John are Seekers-in-training, which seem like arbitrators of justice or something. They all live and train on a grand estate in Scotland/not-Scotland owned by Quin's dad, who is also their teacher. They go to take their final test and swear their oath, but John (who has a classic I'll-never-be-good-enough chip on his shoulder) fails and decides to get revenge by setting fire to the whole place (or something). Quin and Shinobu also realize that Seekers are just assassins. In the ensuing chaos, Quin and Shinobu jump in a portal to...Hong Kong/not-Hong Kong/someplace...where they live separate lives for 18 months or something until John finds them again.

That's the whole story for 65% of the book! So much of it is intertwined with random backstory that not only has unclear relevance, but is spouted off and then skipped over like it was so obvious what it meant. “Blah blah, he held my mom captive and she's this ghost of a corpse now, okay back to my revenge”...what?!?! Then there was the whole portal time jump or whatever (see, I don't even know what it was) and I'm not sure where in time the rest of the story took place. It says 18 months later, but 18 months from when? From when they landed in Hong Kong/not-Hong Kong but where in time was Scotland/not-Scotland taking place? Several hundred years earlier? In the earlier part in Scotland/not-Scotland, I got the impression they dressed and lived like they were in 1600s or something but they had some pretty advanced technology in Hong Kong/not-Hong Kong. Did they time jump? Did they portal jump? Did they do both? I have no idea.

To top it all off, there is a lot of random stuff with Quin's mommy and daddy issues and her random love triangle (or maybe not? It was hard to tell!) that was confusing. I have no idea what or how or why anything was happening, because nothing was really explained. Are Quin and John in love or is he just lusting after her? Does Quin feel something for Shinobu or is John just paranoid jealous? Are Quin's parents in love or does her dad just let her mom live there? Is Quin's mom a drunk or is she actually someone we should care about? What do all the words the characters keep using mean??

From what I THINK might have been going on, this could've been really good, but it was really poorly executed. Like SO poorly executed that I don't know how anyone could read this and understand anything. How do you categorize this book? How do you read it and come away with a good handle on the plot? It's like the author had a ton of ideas but didn't know how or didn't want to try to integrate them all, so they just DUMPED it all in one book and closed their laptop for the day. Needless to say, it didn't work.

4.5 Stars

This book simply ASTOUNDED me. I went into it with pretty low expectations, but Wendig really delivers. The book starts out with a throwdown between Cael and Boyland Barnes Jr., Cael's archrival and the mayor's son. Both Cael and Boyland are scavengers, meaning they scour the Heartland (Earth) for artifacts and interesting things that the community can sell to the cities in the sky, the Empyrean. Boyland has quite the reputation as a scavenger because he plays dirty (and being the mayor's son helps with this) , thus the rivalry. Boyland's dirty tactics are illustrated in the first chapter.

The amazing part of this book is how detail-oriented the plot and world are for the page count. Within the first few chapters we get a clear picture of the world Cael lives in. Basically the Earth (Heartland) is completely ruined for any agriculture except this crazy, scary hybrid strain of corn (the corn is very creepy). As a result, only a few towns exist solely to grow the corn and keep it somewhat under control with chemicals. This had led to numerous problems such as lack of resources and eating the chemically corn, stillbirths, Blight (where body parts are made of vines), tumors, deformities, etc. Think consequences of exposure to radiation. Meanwhile, anyone who really matters is living in the cities in the sky - the Empyrean; large, floating flotillas of rooms and passageways that make up dozens of cities. Naturally there is some discontent from those in the Heartland. All that barely scratches the surface.

Another strong point for Under the Empyrean Sky is how well written it is. Most of the characters, even secondary characters, have more than just one face. Even a character that you may think you have completely figured out could still surprise you in the ending. For example, Gwennie is betrothed to Boyland, but is in love with Cael. When she is taken to the Empyrean, Cael tries everything to get her back to the Heartland, but so does Boyland. Boyland isn't just a dumb brute. When Gwennie sees this, she is actually a little at war with herself over feeling sympathy for him. Gwennie may have to make a real choice in the future. As late as the last 10 pages, I was STILL surprised. It was crazy!

The only drawback to this book was that maybe it had a little too much going on in one book. I really like everything that happened in the last 50%, but to me it felt like it had multiple climaxes. Everything goes haywire, then it calms down, then it's all crazy again, then it calms down, and then it's crazy again. To be honest, it was too much of a rollercoaster of emotion. Nevertheless, I immediately bought the sequel and eagerly wait to see what happens to Cael & company!

1 Star

This book had a lot of promise. A post-apocalyptic, dystopian world covered in ice and trash and full of magic sounds kind of exciting, right? Well, this books really fails to deliver. Now, I am not the biggest fan of Melissa de la Cruz. But I thought that maybe this one would work for me since it was a departure from her vampire stuff. In actuality, the vampire stuff is probably better.

Natasha is a magical casino worker in New Vegas, where she is given a map in a locket that apparently leads to the Blue, an Atlantis-type mythical island with no ice and no trash. She retains the super-hot, gambler Wesson and his crew of smugglers to take her to New Crete, but she just wants to get to the nearby Blue. And so they set off on a boring-ass journey to an island that nobody is even sure exists, with the inklings of a relationship based on lies.

The entire book from that point is just random pieces of information garbled together in some semblance of the English language. While reading this, I liked to think that de la Cruz cut her newspapers together and glued chunks of paragraphs into the rough draft. If so, this book makes a lot more sense. If not, well, I'm not sure how this made it past the editor.

For example, throughout the book a strange variety of things happen. The ship leaves port, encounters other smugglers, encounters refugees (elf with magic powers, the other two are like dwarves), they discover Natasha's powers, encounter a drakon (Dragon? Kraken?) controllable by the elf, face a failed mutiny, find the Blue, have a drakon fight with some random navy on the outskirts of the magical Blue place that apparently exists. That sounds like a lot to cram into 336 pages because IT IS.

The writing is horrific. Natasha discovers she can ride the drakon to save the day because of the following exchange:

Elf: Wow, too bad there aren't any drakonrydders to ride the drakon, lay waste to this army, and save the day.
Natasha: Wait a second...

Tarte: Books, food, DIY and more!

I received my copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

DID NOT FINISH - 30%

One of the major draws to this book was the cover. It is SO pretty, but it's masking a huge mess.

The MC is a judgmental bitch

I had grown up with girls like the one in front of me. Everything about her was fake, from her eyelashes to her boobs. Private school at St. Maria's had prepared me for two things at the same time: fake girls and dealing with the people you never really want to be associated with. This girl was exactly that.

“I hate freshman. They always think they're better than the rest of us. Did you see how she talked down to us?” I had no choice but to talk down as they were seated. She wasn't the brightest, I guess.

almost

I pulled out my book to ignore all the girls who were made out to the max with heavy makeup, perfect tans, and shorts that showed off more than just their legs. I couldn't tell if the goal was to show more boob or more butt in what the girls were wearing. In the middle of the twenty or more girls was the brunette from my first day of checking into the dorms (note: a.k.a. the girl mentioned above). She looked even more made up than when I saw her. The poor guy she was after was in the sports complex.

The writing is pretty bad

The dark auburn color was different. It was almost a chocolate brown, but the red gleaming in it made it otherwise. He was a guy, but the color was just actually pretty. The red was more subtle than my own bright-red hair. I would have given anything to grow up with hair as dark red as his.

Or is is a chocolate brown?

I looked between them. I was outnumbered. I didn't mind my morning classes. Maybe I was the only crazy person in the room. Ty and Sim both looked at me for agreement. I looked between them and shrugged. What could I say? I kind of was a morning person.

Prof. Edwards was the reason I was at Morton College (note: I thought it was Morton Carole? idk). He'd been my tutor the summer before my senior year in biology. I did an independent study of biology over the summer to not have to use time during the year taking the class. Prof. Edwards was a friend of my grandfather, and had been in the Chicago area over the summer. Grandfather lined him up as my mentor for the independent study, and thus began my summer of biology with him.

Every character is a shallow stereotype

I couldn't care less about the romance

What is this about??

I received my copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

2 Stars

I've read a few of Amy Reed's books before - and I really liked all of them. I would describe her style as similar to Ellen Hopkins, that really personal look at “tough issues” in teens' lives such as pregnancy, rape, drugs, etc. So I knew that I wanted to request an ARC of Damaged. But when I was reading it, I realized that this is quite the departure for her usual style.

For one, the writing approached the problem (death) with a “rediscovering yourself via adventure” style plot. In previous novels, like Hopkins, Reed had her characters solve their problems via rehab or similar structures. So in this case, it felt like more of a John Green novel than an Ellen Hopkins novel. Except I hate John Green. I didn't like this change at all. I wanted to read Damaged because I thought it would be exactly like her other novels. I mean, they all even have the same style of cover. When I realized it was completely different, I was pretty disappointed.

Putting all that aside, I was still disappointed because the plot really lacked substance. Kinsey's best friend Camille has been dead for two months. Kinsey is haunted 24/7 by Camille's ghost (not in a paranormal sense, psychologically, although that wasn't very clear in the story) reminding her what happened. She can hardly function as a human being but she thinks that running away with Camille's boyfriend is going to help. Now, Camille's boyfriend is also a piece of work, but together they are ASKING to run into trouble. He abuses drugs and alcohol and she is hallucinating. I'm surprised they made it the whole trip (although they almost didn't a few times).

By the time I was done with this book, I didn't really understand what the point of the trip was if Kinsey was going to turn around and go right back to Michigan. Kinsey didn't really grow, she just dealt with a lot of the boyfriend's shit. She also sure isn't getting away from her abusive mother if she's going back home. The boyfriend I guess got away from his neglectful father. But neither of them really got away from Camille (basically the whole point). They had a prolonged hook-up, because other than sex, I wasn't sure if they were planning on being together or not at the end. Nobody grew. They just dealt with each other's shit and had sex.

One thing that was pretty good (like all Reed's books) is her ability to harness emotion and use it in a forceful way. She is pretty talented at that and this book is no exception. I felt empathy with Kinsey over Camille's death and how her mother treated her. I felt Hunter's (the boyfriend) rage and disgust with his father over his choices. Obviously the problem with this is that for certain characters this was a little uncomfortable. Kinsey's mom is mentally ill (I suspect something like schizoaffective disorder or bipolar disorder) and could be very abusive. Her grandmother wants absolutely nothing to do with her and refuses to let her in her house if she can help it. These two relationships made me pretty sad when I was reading the book.

This wasn't that horrible of a book. I enjoyed the beginning before the road trip. There was a lot of internal struggle and good use of emotion. But then they went on the road trip and I felt like I was reading a cliche John Green novel and I didn't want anything to do with this anymore.

I received my copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

1.5 Stars

Well, this was bad. I really enjoyed Westerfeld's Uglies series, but that gave me the false hope that I would also like Afterworlds. I really wanted to like this book. The first few pages were great. But beyond that lie the worst book within a book ever.

The story within the story (and the book itself) was awful

Honestly, the story within the story (about Lizzie) didn't capture my interest at all. The dead childhood friend part was fascinating but how everything was handled (I murdered someone, oops, oh well lololol), the whole river of death thing, Yamaraj and Yami were very shallow characters, Mr. Hamlyn's presence/motivation in everything...it was bad. Everything was bad. Maybe it was supposed to be bad and a reflection of how much Darcy sucks. Maybe it was a legitimate attempt at a novelception. Either way, it was annoying. I skimmed a lot of the ending because the convenient bullshit was just piling up.

The world building was probably the worst part. I didn't understand anything about the world around Lizzie. I couldn't picture her house, the concept of the river of death, the underworld, the World War II part, the Colorado thing - anything! Events just randomly happened with such a quick pace that I literally couldn't even follow what was happening. No rules or structure or anything was ever laid down, just this person is here saying this to this other person. BUT WHY?

The actual story about Darcy was just boring and unrealistic. Darcy writes a novel in a month that sells for $150k, so she must be talented, right? Well, no, apparently her book is kinda bad (CLEARLY bad, as we are considerately provided that text as well) and she really sucks at staying on top of deadlines, grammar, really everything to do with writing. I appreciated the glimpse into an author's life, but everything felt very artificial. Darcy gets this amazing contract. Darcy gets this amazing apartment. Darcy makes all these amazing friends who all love her amazing book. Darcy has all these things handed to her and she abuses them, takes advantage of them, and ignores everything real in her life.

Darcy is annoying!

Take a look at this sentence:

“First Imogen's phone and autocorrect had conspired to destroy her life, and now her landlord, the IRS, and her future college were joining in.”

brat

The romance(s) sucked

There's just so many bad points

really

I received my copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

3.5 Stars

Don't Touch left me with very...mixed feelings. On one hand, I appreciate where the author is coming from and the story, but on the other hand, it felt a little too unrealistic.

The plot itself is very interesting. Caddie has some sort of obsessive or anxiety disorder and is constantly controlled by her set of rules about touching. Touch someone's skin, her parents won't get back together. Let someone touch her, her parents will fight. All this has led to Caddie wearing gloves and long-sleeves 24/7, even in summer. This presents a problem when she is cast in the school play, Hamlet. I thought that Wilson really accurately represented the emotions of having a mental illness and trying to appear “normal.” I felt Caddie's anxiety and shame once everyone realized what was going on. I got hopeful her dad would pull through and then angry when he bailed yet again. The wishfulness that she would overcome this almost pushed me over the edge. However, at the same time this is where the book's faults are.

Caddie's obsession is resolved entirely too easily. She has been following her rules for a while (months? years?) and within a few weeks, she doesn't wear her gloves, is holding someone's hand, making out, etc...it all seemed very unrealistic to me. Yes, some mental illnesses are easier to get over than others but this was like night vs. day for Caddie in a very short period of time. I guess you could argue that the power of Peter's love made it easier for her? Which, if that's true, it's sort of offensive...

Caddie also joins this art school and happens to get the lead part in the school play? She leaves practice, has meltdowns, etc, and the director still doesn't replace her? Caddie's mom or brother never notice she always wears gloves and never touches anyone? Mandy or Peter or NONE of her classmates ever think that something else might be up? She has a history of mental illness, so I would think that her mom would be very perceptive with her, although she did have a lot going on in her own life.

I really liked Caddie's family and friends. They all felt very real to me. Her mom struggled with moving on in her life and salvaging her marriage to keep her kids happy. Her brother was upset about his parents' separation. Caddie's dad was an asshole who clearly liked being away from all his responsibilities. Mandy was jealous and flawed but loyal. Oscar was a drama queen because he's been on a small TV show before, but deep down he's not quite that shallow. Peter was understanding and caring, but not “perfect.” The characters were all well-written.

Overall I thought this was a good book. I'm glad that the “stereotypical” mental health issues weren't presented and not in the traditional cliche fashion they always are. At the same time, there was that fairytale-this-would-never-work-out-in-real-life element that sort of bothered me. Still a nice read. :)

1 Star

This is yet another one of those books that I have already read at least once. But of course when I bought the sequel I hadn't realized that I didn't remember the plot at all...

Matched is your typical young adult romantic dystopian, similar to The Selection and others. However, while The Selection has uniquity, Matched inherently lacks anything of substance. One-dimensional characters, a boring plot, a snooze-worthy love triangle make for a seriously unenjoyable novel.

Cassia doesn't seem so bad at first. She has the sort of “yes ma'am” attitude that would make any oppressive government happy. This later develops into what I call “limp noodle heroism”, wherein the heroine has neither a legitimate cause nor a plan of how to fight for it. In short, Cassia is desperate to be important in some way, yet without a reason or way to achieve it. She is a pitiful role model.

Cassia's family was very cookie-cutter. The mother is very docile, always following the rules and even working as a gardener. The father is more rebellious, and in a job I could describe as police work. The younger brother was annoying, clingy, and emotional. They were used to add bodies to scenes so it didn't seem like Cassia was constantly alone.

Xander was also a pretty useless character. He played the role of childhood-friend-turned-love-interest, except Cassia was never really interested in him at all. From the beginning she was hesitant to be with him, and obviously moved on as soon as someone more interesting popped up. Actually, I felt pretty bad for him. He asks Cassia at the end if she would have ever picked him. She says yes, but Xander and I both know that she wouldn't have.

Ky seemed like the tragic, dark bad boy that Cassia was obsessed with whispering poems too. He had a shitty life growing up and that was constantly being referenced. He likes to talk about forbidden poetry with Cassia while they're climbing the hills, and somehow that leads to intense, burning love. Cassia decides to give up her cushy life to go chase after him for whatever reason in the end.

On that the love triangle was a joke. Cassia loves Xander until she sees Ky's face and decides she likes him better. They chat about the alphabet and poetry and then Cassia is ready to lay her life on the line for him. I don't understand where their relationship came from because they had exactly zero chemistry. If Cassia hadn't seen Ky's face on her screen, she wouldn't have given him a second glance and Xander would be a hell of a lot happier with his life.

The entire plot was ridiculous. This book isn't about a dystopian society, it's about a dystopian romance. In the end, Cassia didn't even defy the society's system because the two guys she was fighting over were both presented to her by the matching system. A real revolutionary would've fallen in love with a guy she met at the bus stop. The whole book is literally about Cassia angsting over poetry with Ky and how to tell Xander she just isn't into him. Ugh.

4 stars

Wow. That's all I can say about this book! Not really...

The Burning Sky begins with the heroine Iolanthe, a young elemental mage, attempting to create the perfect light elixir for a wedding. Let me just take a step back to say that I wish we could bottle moonlight for weddings, because that would be seriously gorgeous. Okay, so Iolanthe gets into a tussle with her mentor, and he ruins the potion. She discovers that lightning can fix the elixir, tries it out, and launches an epic battle for her powers. You see, being able to call lightning is not exactly common, and a hallmark of a great level IV elemental mage. You know, the type that would be able to overthrow the country currently occupying hers. She therefore presents a small problem for them.

In short, I loved Iolanthe. She was bold, funny, clumsy, skilled, smart, feminine, tough, and most importantly real. She was torn between saving herself and helping Titus, the prince. She was torn between helping Titus and rescuing her mentor. She was torn between her duty and desire for a quiet life and her growing feelings for Titus. She wasn't exceptionally beautiful or ugly. She wasn't exceptionally gifted at everything she did, she still made plenty mistakes and struggled with herself. It was very refreshing not to read about everyone fawning all over the female characters.

This story is not just about Iolanthe, but the prince Titus too. Titus needs the foreseen great elemental mage to liberate his country. Iolanthe wants her mentor back and a peaceful life of scholarship. Drawn to Iolanthe out of necessity to overthrow the occupiers, Titus realizes their destinies have been intertwined since before they were born. They band together to save everyone, but little do they realize how they will change each other's lives.

I thought Titus was very sweet. He plays the pompous, spoiled prince role very well, maybe too well to be entirely fake. But not so deep down, he is very caring and fiercely loyal. He tried to act tough with Iolanthe in the beginning, but I could see the facade faltering. I really love them together and thought that their romance seemed genuine, albeit rushed if you actually examine the timespan of the story.

Something I was less than thrilled with was the time spent at Eton. Iolanthe goes into hiding as a male schoolmate of Titus' at Eton, but there seemed to be too much emphasis on the time spent there. In short, I was bored. I get the necessity of her being there, but a significant chunk was Iolanthe playing cricket or socializing or doing homework assignments for others. This could have easily been left out.

Finally, I thought the world was great with one exception. Between Atlantis, Delmar (?), and England, I thought there was a lot of potential for a variety in the story. Instead, a lot of the story actually takes place in a book. This would be fine except I had a very hard time following the events in the last 100 pages. I understand the concept of the Crucible, but understanding where Iolanthe and Titus were at any given point or why they were in a spot or whether it was the Crucible or the real world or what exactly was going on...I was very lost. I thought this was a cool idea, but it had too little explanation for me to follow it.

All in all, a very enjoyable read! The magic was particularly interesting to me, although the rules about who has the ability to perform magic was a little confusing too. The prince can but somehow his magic is different from Iolanthe's?

3 Stars

I have a confession about Gone Girl...

I had it completely written it off.

I'm obsessed with thrillers just like anyone else, but this book sounded dumb to me. I mean, “what's in the gift box”? Seriously? So I never read it. It was made into a movie. I never planned on seeing it. People keep telling me it's amazing and I just did the “yeah....sure....” head nod. Then I saw it on sale for $2.99 on Amazon.

This book sure was a surprise! I went in with low expectations, but I ended up getting sucked in and finishing it within 24 hours. Very unexpected...

Overall I really enjoyed the plot. Like I said, I love thrillers and especially love crime stories. Although I personally think Amy overreacted a tad bit to news of her husband's infidelity (you could have tried to confront him...), I can see why that happened within the context of her past. Amy is a straight up sociopath, and as such basically lives off of manipulation. Hearing about what she did to other people in her life was quite disturbing.

What really got me about this book was how it was presented to the reader. I fell for the lie making up the first half of the book, as I'm sure most readers did. I didn't know there was going to be some crazy plot twist, so of course I wasn't expecting it. Imagine my surprise when it comes out that Amy is framing her husband for her own murder.

But the second half, I was not a fan. Yeah Amy set up this whole thing just because her husband cheated on her, but it was a bit too fantastic for me to believe. Amy's whole plot against her husband was convoluted to a fault, and all the resolution was very convenient. There is no way that that kind of plan could work in real life, with such dependency on the separate pieces that the plan needed to work perfectly. It even mentions in the book how conveniently things seemed to have worked out for Amy (according to her public account). I was mad when they couldn't dig up ANYTHING on her.

One thing that was interesting was how fast my loyalties shifted. The first half, I felt bad for Amy (but didn't necessarily demand Nick's head). In the second half, I grew to hate Amy with each passing page. The fact that she feels like she has the right to upright someone's entire life because she can't have an adult conversation about infidelity really bothered me. It also seriously bothered me that she got away with it and expected and demanded Nick to pretend to be a happy family with her. She not only financially but reproductively (?) blackmailed her husband into staying with her and lying to cover her ass. Knowing your husband is only with you because you got pregnant has got to be the worst feeling ever, but I didn't feel bad for her at all. I mean, is she even capable of emotion?? I did feel bad for Nick. He wasn't lying when he said Amy was the most interesting girl he'd ever met. He just didn't know how much she would fuck up his life.

3 Stars

To be completely fair, I have read this book before (so nothing was a surprise) and I finished it over a month ago (so it's been a while). Oh, college...

Across the Universe is the story of Amy and Elder, two teenagers from completely different circumstances, on a spaceship traveling 300 years to a new planet. Elder is the ship-born leader-in-training. Amy is the “non-essential” daughter of two brilliant minds, all cryogenically frozen, destined to help on the new planet. But what happens when Amy is woken up 50 years early?

I have a weird relationship with this book. On one hand, I really love the concept (reminds me of Wall-E) but on the other hand, it was poorly executed. Almost all of the major plot elements were given away in the very beginning. For instance, the first-Elder-gone-bad idea was great, but making him a creepy, antisocial librarian with scars where his com should be? It could not have been more obvious. I'm surprised that passage wasn't just highlighted for the reader's ease. I'm the type of person that never picks up on those “obvious” hints, and even I could tell he was some type of antagonist.

Another example of this would be the mind-control aspect. Amy feels weird when she drinks the water, the mating season, there's a random, suspicious access point to the entire ship's water line that Elder can get to... to me that all screams THERE IS SOMETHING IN THE WATER.

Another problem I had with this book is the romance. Elder saves Amy when she gets woken up, and then they just casually decide to be together forever. I didn't feel any sort of connection between them other than the fact that Elder kept repeating that Amy was different and Amy kept repeating that she was different. Then throw in the fact that Amy is obsessed with her womanizing ex-boyfriend and waking up her dad from cryo-sleep and you've got to wonder why exactly Elder likes her.

This review has been mostly negative so let's talk about some positives. Like I said, I liked the entire concept of the book. It's a great idea and the blurb really sells it. Even if the blurb didn't, the cover alone sells this book, I'm sure. Anyways, building a spaceship to find a new planet and develop a new Earth with people frozen 300 years ago is cool. Finding out that it's been over 300 years and there's a massive cover-up to keep the population under control was crazy. I love mysteries and watching Amy and Elder try to figure it out was great. Amy was like the perfect “non-essential” because she came across as your average angsty teenager. Amy's friend Harley was fun, but I really felt bad for where he ended up.

This wasn't a bad book, but it wasn't a fantastic book either. I, by far, enjoyed it more than I didn't enjoy it. The problem was it could've been SO much better. Make things a little harder to figure out, make the romance feel a little more real, cut down on Amy's whining...easily 4 stars.

I received my copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

3.5 stars

I was really excited for Salt & Storm when I requested it on Netgalley, and I'm so glad it didn't disappoint!!

Avery was raised by her grandmother, the island's witch, so she observed her spells and waited for her chance to unlock her magic and succeed her. Her mother returns to her life and steals her away to a posh house on the exact opposite side of the island. Cursed by her mother, Avery doesn't see her grandmother for the next 4 years. When she foresees her own murder (she can interpret dreams), she knows she must unlock her magic to break the curse and find a way to her grandmother's for help.

Some people didn't like the author's “flowery language,” but I actually really enjoyed it! The exposition was a very welcome change from the flat worlds I've encountered in my past few reads. I never felt like it was boring or dragged on at all. The author also does a great job of diversifying the events, so Avery doesn't spend the whole book focused on one task. She tries to unlock her magic, then break the curse, then stop her own murder, etc. The changes in pace are a great touch to keep 400 pages from getting boring. And it worked! I devoured this book over a period of 24 hours, something that has recently seemed impossible. :)

Another great point is the plot. I really enjoyed the entire premise of the book. There wasn't a LOT of magic but what there was was interesting. It's not like Blue Is for Nightmares where all the magic is just lighting candles. The backstory about the previous island witches was cool as well. There was also a little heartstring-tugging.

I will say that it is not without problems. For one, I wouldn't classify this book as a historical romance. Technically it takes place in another century, but this fact is so understated that I couldn't even tell you WHEN it takes place. It really has no bearing on the story. Second, the romance was a little too instalove-y for me. A romance with Avery's childhood friend would feel more natural. Avery's friendship with Tane felt okay, but the passionate love felt a little out-of-thin-air.

Finally, the ending bothered me. I understand that Avery is making her own future instead of one decided for her, but it didn't feel right to me. This is a personal opinion of mine, so it didn't have any bearing on the rating, but I thought following tradition would've been a better choice.

1 star

There's a lot that could be said about Dreamless.

The mythology was butchered to the point where it's unrecognizable. Greek mythology? More like the drama llama decided to drop in and fuck with everyone's life. Oh, and you know, some people are randomly named after Greek gods. One Greek god that does actually exist is Ares, of whom the real Ares would be embarrassed by.

The “romance” in this book was comprised of one angsty forbidden lover competing with a suitor as deep as a puddle. On one hand, we have the I-love-you-but-you're-my-cousin-not-really-but-we-think-so-because-math-is-hard “badass” Lucas who alternates between hating Helen with EVERY FIBER OF HIS BEING and being obsessed with her and laying in bed together even though they think they're cousins. On the other hand is the witty, handsome, “different” Orion, who is the ONLY ONE who can help Helen when she descends. Love!!!1!!1

The plot was probably one of the worst I've read in a long time. If you think ignoring basic storytelling guidelines like MAKING SENSE is exciting, pick up Dreamless. Seriously, EVERYTHING was just randomly thrown in with NO regard for laying a foundation or even having justification for your choices. Spend 200 pages setting up some weird insomnia subplot? Resolve it in 1 page by figuring out Helen was doing it to herself unconsciously! Some crazy-strong ant soldier that has never been defeated trying to kill you? Don't worry, Helen has it under control with a few zaps!

Helen was an annoying speshul snowflake. Of course she's the only one that has ever been able to descend into the Underworld. Of course she can defeat Automadon. Of course she can defeat a god. Of course Helen is amazing and perfect and beautiful and powerful and lucky and unique. She's also pretty immature and bratty.

Here's the plot breakdown: Helen descends into the Underworld, wanders around for 10 pages and then dies and wakes up. She fights with everyone and makes some bratty comments about her absent mother. Repeat.

I had a lot of questions at the end of this. Why is Ares doing this again? What was the point of Helen not dreaming? Why is it entirely up to Helen to fix the blood debt? Why were the Fates even part of the plot? Why was Automadon part of the plot? What function did the love triangle have? Why did I read this book?

I received my copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review

1 star

Random was an interesting take on a somewhat popular subject in YA: suicide. What the author chose to do, instead of the before or aftereffects, was show the impact of suicide on the bully's life. What happens to that person after their targets have killed themselves?

Unfortunately, Random was pretty...random. The entire plot revolves around the bully, Tori, receiving a “random” phone call from a person about to attempt suicide. She can either hang up or have a chance at saving someone (like she failed to do before). I guess this is supposed to attest to her growth as a character, but we don't see any of that. Maybe she was a bad person when she was bullying the kid that died, but at present day she had already experienced that growth. I guess the point was to show that she had changed, and not necessarily how? It doesn't even matter anyways because the phone call wasn't so “random” but more of a random set-up by her brother and the kid she bullied's boyfriend to show her that people have feelings blah blah blah...how RANDOM. Maybe the title of the book is supposed to be some kind of self-commentary.

It was bad. Tori literally spends 90% of the book on the phone with some random suicidal teenager trying to talk him down. Another 5% was her getting up and talking to her brother or driving to a bridge. The last 5% was (in my copy, anyways) poorly formatted Facebook-style posts showing us what Tori did to the dead kid to drive him over the edge. Which was so forced and obvious I couldn't believe.

Speaking of forced/obvious, the premise of Tori's charges were ridiculous. Nobody was going to press charges until a random reporter decided to write an article comparing them to a sociopath in training? Then the police are like, “oh, wow maybe, like...manslaughter sounds good??/?” Okay, sure.

She also engages in a really random romance with someone who wasn't her friend, really, but more her brother's friend that hangs around. Of course they kiss at the end because why not?

1 star

There are two different types of enjoyable books: the actually good ones and the so-bad-its-enjoyable ones.

The Elite was a guilty...something, definitely not pleasure.

I skimmed most of the book, because one major problem totally ruined the whole thing for me: What's the point of the Selection when Maxon promised to pick America? They've already admitted to loving each other, so the book is just Maxon waiting for America to finish sowing her wild oats. In my opinion, this could not have been worse.

Things Wrong With The Elite
The random political fillerAmerica's back and forth between Aspen and Maxon
The whole thing with MarleeParty-planning as a test of character
“OMG Maxon is ignoring me, he hates me!”Maxon is allowed to sex-up whomever in the hallway despite “picking” America
America is constantly preparing to leave“Rebel attacks”
Dystopi-what?The “stolen moments” between America and Aspen

Things Right With The Elite
The King's temperUncovering Gregory Illea's past

That's a pretty bad ratio.

1 star

My Thoughts
I was told I would like this book more. I was told this book would be good.

It wasn't.

The romance was boring. Mara & Noah make promises to stay together 4ever, have intense make-out sessions that last for 4 pages, and spend the rest of the book talking about how much they love each other and how they'll make it through whatever is going on. What a snoozefest.

The plot was boring. The bulk of the book was spent talking about what just happened or what Mara should do. Pages and pages and PAGES of this. If I wanted an in-depth conversation I would've talked to someone in person, not picked up a book.

The characters are boring. Mara USED TO BE really crazy in the first book, but now she's just super lame. She barely uses her powers and all she ever does is black out when the timing isn't good. Noah used to be a sexist jerk, and now he's a simpering wet blanket. Mara's family and friends continues to be taken from the NYT bestselling “Last 50 Cliches & Stereotypes You Will Ever Need.” If I had a token for every stereotypical character, I could win some amazing prizes on the crane machine.

The ending was boring and quite far-fetched. The twists are so randomly inserted that I feel the author got pressed for time and decided, “fuck it! I'm throwing in everything!!” The last page is supposed to be a heart-stopping ball of adrenaline barely hanging on a cliff in the Grand Canyon. While I was reading it, I looked up and stared at some rain on the tent and walked to the campground bathroom.

I can't even write a proper review because I was SO bored I barely made it through this book conscious.

Summary
Crazy cliffhanger - I think NOT. Who decided to publish this? This book has the same problem as it's predecessor: 15 minutes after I had finished, I couldn't remember the plot.

I received this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

3 stars

Gates of Thread and Stone was an interesting read. The premise seemed to resemble that of Incarceron, but once I started the book, I realized it was really quite different. Kai lives in the slums with her adoptive brother, Reev, who found her on a riverbank when she was 8. She remembers nothing before that time, and any inquiries into Reev's life before her are brushed aside. Kai represents a fundamental urge we all have inside - the desire to know who we are. And does Kai figure out who she is?

Sort of.

Kai does get some answers, but also doubles her amount of questions. This of course follows as the result of an extended period spent in the Void, a vast, barren wasteland outside the city. My mind felt like it was in a void, too. Because while there, Kai and Avan are conveniently fed, housed, and trained to fight by the mysterious Black Rider who has supposedly been stealing citizens as part of his army. They make friends, they are protected from the vicious gargoyles, and are even thrown a surprise going-away party when it's time for them to leave. Yep, they trek all the way out to the Void, only to be told what they seek lies right where they started. Talk about wasting your time (and filling pages).

The suggested romance between Kai and G-10, a trainer in the Void, was really awkward and made me feel uncomfortable. For me, scenes between them conjured up images of a barista being hit-on by that older, creepy guy who has had a few too many. Exactly like that shuddering feeling when you get touched by slimy guys. Not that G-10 is old or slimy, just...uncomfortable. The real romance between Kai and Avan was quite a bit more enjoyable. It felt like a natural progression from friendship into something more. Avan came across as a little shy, and Kai as oblivious. Because of her narrow focus on finding Reev, she missed a lot of little things. Once she realizes how he feels, their interactions are reminiscent of two 16-year-olds with crushes on each other. It's adorable.

Overall I felt I wanted MORE. The very beginning led me to believe Death herself played a much larger role than she actually did. I was kind of excited to see a badass female executioner wreaking havoc on poor, unsuspecting subjects. That didn't happen. There were those pieces of a fantasy element that really kept me in the story, but it wasn't enough to make me happy. WHY COULDN'T THERE BE MORE?? In addition, the last 15% of the book was just a race to the finish line. Everything I thought I was getting in this book and everything I wanted to get in this book happened during then, in a very squished fashion. Whereas the beginning, the journey, and the Void stretched on endlessly, the ending came and went much too quickly.
 
Summary
Incorporating more of the powers and magic into the story would've given this book at least 1 more star. While definitely an enjoyable read, it felt much more like an adventure than a fantasy. The main romance was sweet, the plot twists were nice, but there was a large chunk in the middle that seemed to serve no purpose except to double the length of the book.

I received this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

3 stars

I was REALLY excited when I heard I got approved for Servants of the Storm. The super creepy cover combined with natural disasters and dead best friends really sold me on this idea. I was a little worried about the love triangle that was forewarned in the synopsis, but I figured it was just the hook for the Twihards. Overall I enjoyed it, but the execution was less than perfect.

Don't get me wrong - this is a CREEPY book. I read this a lot at night and often after putting it down I would be afraid to sleep near the edges of my bed. It's not so much an in-your-face scary as a subtle scary that just kind of sneaks up on you when you roll over and turn the light off. Or maybe I just have an overactive imagination (I wouldn't be surprised). The world-building is pretty well done - at times I felt like I could almost picture Savannah, despite never being there. On the other hand, it's also pretty confusing. Supernatural phenomenon in this book consist of greater demons, lesser demons, distal servants, cambions, imps, ghosts, and drugged kids (maybe that was a one time thing). Why are they all here and what do they want? Just to exist and cause mayhem? We never really find out. There's all these rules and rituals and traditions, but none of them really get explained or even really shown their relevance to the story. Sometimes I wished I had someone to sit me down, take my hand, and explain everything to me.

The pacing was weird. In the first 40% nothing exceptionally paranormal happens, just little things that could easily be passed off as Dovey going crazy. Then we get dragged on this directionless quest for 55% more, and the last 5% is like WOW! ACTION! STUFF HAPPENING! Ironically, I enjoyed the first 40% the most because some of the paranormal stuff that happened later felt like oh-thats-right-this-is-paranormal-lets-add-some-demons filler.

Our heroine Dovey was an okay character. She's of mixed background (I believe...not quite clear) and a lot of the people she interacts with are African-American. Yay, diversity! At one point she “must” pretend to be in love with Isaac (why isn't exactly clear) and how she acts made me uncomfortable. I'm all for female sexuality and expressing it, but this was SO far out from who Dovey really is that I didn't like it. It was way too forced and overly sexualized and Dovey was basically one foil wrapper away from banging Isaac right there in the trailer park. It felt like someone told Dovey to act like the most desperate prostitute in the world.

Speaking of romance, the love triangle wasn't very pronounced (YAY!) but when it was there it was awkward. I didn't feel any chemistry between Dovey and Baker or Dovey and Isaac. There's some kissing going on, but I was just like, “Let's get back to demon ass-kicking...” Baker was pretty annoying and clingy through the book, and I couldn't understand Isaac's appeal. Definitely not going to be any long-lasting relationships with either of these too.

As for the ending, I liked it. And by that I mean the last 4 or 5 pages were really good. I sort of saw it coming from a distance but I wasn't quite sure it would go that way. The final clash right before the very end certainly had a lot of action but some of it was just really convenient. Demon magic covers up everything automatically - large gatherings of teens, concealed weapons, pools of blood, and even gunshots! Wow, they should sell it in stores or something! Then there was the random ghost and special powers...ugh, move on.
 
Summary
A character actually says “It's all coming together” at one point, and I could not disagree more. At no time did I feel like I was “getting” this book. :/ The lack of background information is confusing, yes, but the book is still enjoyable. The romance is comparably subdued to other PNR and the plot was fairly interesting. I'm definitely interested in a sequel!

2 stars

I really like Greek mythology. Like, REALLY. After being disappointed so many times, you kind of start to wonder.

Maybe it's me.

Maybe I just don't enjoy Greek mythology after all.

And then I think, no, I actually really do enjoy it, I just read a lot of crap books about it. But Starcrossed is one of those books that seems like it has everything. And it DOES have everything! Just look at this list:

Starcrossed Assets

Shy heroine


Paper cut-out friends


Absent parent(s)


Unique powers


Corrupted, confusing mythology


Forbidden insta-love


Convenient conflict resolution

Twilight

Twilight

Twilight

Starcrossed

Summary

Twilight

Starcrossed

1.5 stars

Ah, the infamous book that launched a thousand drama llamas. We meet again.

Let's just jump right into it. I can sum up this entire book thus: the cover is deceiving. Yep, it's one of those super pretty ah-I-need-it books with a boring plot and awful writing. Pretty standard fare these days.

The characters are completely one-sided. The author made a few weak attempts at crafting diverse, multi-faceted people but that just made them seem forced. America's mom was super weird and excitable. She comes across like a former beauty pageant queen who tries to relive her glory days through her daughter. I kinda feel like I just ruined some secret in the coming books for myself. Anyways, she's annoying. Aspen is the tough guy in lurvvv but at some point he blows up at America because she spends her own money on food for him and this challenges traditional gender roles. HE IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE PROVIDER, AMERICA. What is this, the 1800s?? I thought this book took place way beyond present time. There's also a bit of girl hate - Celeste is the beautiful but cruel bitch that will do whatever it takes to win the crown/princess-ship (is that a word?). She also like, probably sleeps around to get ahead. She targets America by trying to swap dresses at the photoshoot, which obviously nobody would notice. She is a menace to us all.

The relationship(s) is/are completely one-sided. America goes on and on about how much she loves Aspen, but where is our evidence of this? Because they make-out a lot? Because he touched her hand while they helped her brother move? Why do they like each other?? And of course as soon as America's at the palace, we don't really hear anything about Aspen until he physically reappears in her life. Which, let me just say that the whole excuse of “catching” that other girl that “fell” at America's going-away party is probably the worst excuse I've ever heard. But America buys it and throws herself at Aspen until she remembers she's falling in love with Maxon. I guess the only time she likes him is when Maxon isn't around. Don't worry, he's never going to give up!!!1

The writing is just..ugh. Queen Amberly is just so amazing and smart and beautiful and everyone loves her but we never SEE that. We are told that by America and many other people. The King is strong and brave and protective but we never SEE that either. For rulers of the country (why did America become a monarchy?) they might as well just be paintings on the wall for all they contribute to the story. Those violent attacks by the rebels where they sack the place looking for something (THAT NOBODY IS CURIOUS ABOUT) are so out of place and unnecessary I'm not sure why they're included. So that Maxon can tell America state secrets? So that America can be speshul and caring because nobody else cares about their maids' lives? So that we stick with the series to uncover the mystery? Not likely.

The whole Selection process just read to me as a ripoff of The Hunger Games. The girls are selected from each state (?) through a random drawing. They have going away parties and their families are compensated for their involvement. They have interviews with a flamboyant character on the government-run TV channel. The people are updated with their progress throughout the process. I would almost bet my cat that the author read The Hunger Games and thought, “what if the competition was to marry a prince??”

Things That Fall Flat In The Selection

• America


• America's friendships with the other girls


• America's relationship with her family


• America's relationship with Maxon


• The characters


• The plot


• The writing


• Everything else

Summary

1 star

As I wind my way through the Mortal Instrument series, I'm left with an overall feeling of reading the exact same book over and over again. They start out with some sort of conflict, then resolution, repeat four or five times, insert some plot twists near the end, then finish it off with a big battle. Some of the same things have been repeated throughout all three books, such as Clary being annoying as shit. There's lots of talk of saving Clary's mother but two feet out the door and she's immediately forgotten. The plot is almost always centered around Clary and Jace, and in fact almost all other characters show up only to serve some function and then disappear again. The POV randomly changes within the same page with no indication of that. And finally, here is Cassandra Clare with clues:


Yep. I can say with almost absolute certainty that the next book will follow these exact same patterns. As a result, I've limited myself to comment merely on the characters and their development or lack thereof.



Summary
At one point, Isabelle says Clary has known Jace a month. So they're in love after a month. That's all I need to say.