Mari

TW: Mental Illness, Marital Rape, Domestic Abuse

I thought I knew but I had no idea.

Yesteryear took me on a demented downward, psychologicl, spiral with Natalie, a deeply flawed Ballerina Farm-esque character whose religiosity and intrusive thoughts gave me whiplash.

She was constantly torn between controlling every situation, what was expected of her and what she really wanted to do with her life.

This book felt like a warning of the religious tradwife-to-manosphere pipeline and a dystopian look behind the curtain of how far social media influencers could go to keep their lives looking perfect online.

Natalie's mental break was gradual and honestly understandable; the character may even have had undiagnosed post-partem depression amongst other things.

As the book progressed, Natalie's intrusive thoughts went from a toxic torrent to a seething, hateful beast condemning other for being "unholy". Other people's happiness sent her into silent rages of scripture as she recetered herself for yet another day on the farm. No matter how much Natalie controlled in her sphere, somehow everything still got away from her.

Unfortunately, Natalie's many children get caught in the crossfire in ways I couldn't have imagined.

I couldn't put this book down, and I did not see the ending coming.

For fans of: Educated by Tara Westover, I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy, Succession and M. Knight Shyamalan.