Marissa

I knew this book was getting 5 starts after I was about 47% of the way through it. Then, they introduced a major new element to the plot around pg. 220, which had me a bit shocked as they already had so much going on between FMC +MMC.

One of the elements I loved the most in this book was Gideon’s growth. Because of its intensity, it contributed to the overall development his relationships, romantic and familial.

Romantically, they worked through the employment issues he caused, his nightmares, him understanding how and why his fears and anxiety impact him the way they do. This results in major realizations, which happen to be the domino he needed. He gained the ability to acknowledge AND understand how and why to actions speak louder than words, then embracing those actions.

Gideon’s familial relationships also were impacted by his personal growth and self-awareness. One quote that embodied this is:

There was grief, a profound anguish that burned in my chest. And resignation. A clarifying, terrible acceptance. But it weighed on me so much less than the desperate hope I'd harbored: that one day my mother would love me enough to accept the truth. That hope was dead.

Though detaching himself from his mother allowed him to accept and acknowledge his stepfathers (similar) actions. He realized what that said about him as a man stepping into that father roll as an adult; starting steps to healing their relationship as he wasn’t aware of the horrors Gideon faced as a child. And it was SO good to read about it. I’ll say it again, I loved this book so much.

HOWEVER, writing an huge event that caused extreme distress to the plot with only 100 pgs. left in the book had me pissed beyond belief. I was racking my brain to figure out wtf they were going to do in 100 pgs. that would leave me satisfied and content with its ending. Let me give you a hint, they actually did a good job wrapping it up. But I’m ngl, I gained the full closure in the authors note with:

and yet now that Crossfire is over, I know Eva and Gideon are ready and able to go forward with their lives on their own. Whatever help they needed from me, they don't require it any longer.

“I’d done this to her. I had made her feel unwelcome, unwanted, her thoughts and feelings less of a concern to me than my own. I’d let my past drive a wedge between us. No, that wasn’t true. I had let my fear push her away.“

OKAY GIDEON GROWTH‼️‼️‼️

However, while his intentions are to be protective and consider every detail, his approach continues to hinder his progress. The 4 stars is because of the growth, but it’s not 5 because he doesn’t consider Eva to be an equal. My heart HURTS for Eva because of the shit she has been put through, not only by him, but by Brett, her mother, and even Cary (but in different ways). The only constant characters that I continue to love and could do no wrong is Mark and Steven.

I’m honestly just glad Eva recognizes the extreme codependency and the act of losing herself when she’s with him. At the end, she is much more cautious about breaking their unhealthy habits. However, I will say, their unhealthy habits of having sex instead of talking through their problems, seems to benefit them one way or another. For example, elevator scene, even the somewhat brutal actions, they had a revelation that changes their dynamic. Also, with the scene right before their huge fight towards the end, she was able to find solid grounds with the trust and reassurance she had in him and more confidence within herself. Which, in my opinion, is huge for characters in books where they are lovesick for each other.

It was exhausting at some points trying to read about Gideon’s mishaps. He has his good moments, but he’s not very demure. It’s giving 1 step forward, 3 steps back (specifically referring to the Olivia Rodrigo song).

Anyways, I very much liked it and proceeded to the next book in the series.

it was a good book but I ruined it for myself by creating extremely far fetched theories on what I thought would happen, but then actually being somewhat right…

I lowkey took the fun away from myself but hey it’s whatever.

Dear god this book. I was probably 60% through it and I was like this is fucking ridiculous. It’s getting a 3. HOWEVER, things got a LOT better by the end which earned the .5.

Considering I loved the first book so much, I kinda wasn’t sure what to expect. I had to re-read some paragraphs because I was dumbfounded. That being said, Eva was being a brat, petty, immature, and overall self righteous, the majority of this book.

I get her frustrations, anger, betrayal, and fear. Giving your all to someone, the good, the bad, the ugly, the pure and extremely raw vulnerability she had, it would make sense to crash-out if still in the dark about your partner. But I couldn’t handle the pettiness.

MEGA SPOILERS BELOW

To expand on the statement above, the whole thing with her ex that they saw in concert. I was getting secondhand embarrassment. I didn’t like the method Gideon used to get the truth; at first, I thought he was using a point to be on his high horse and ‘gloat’ about her kissing another man, while accusing him of cheating. Though, their dynamic makes as to why that was the route taken, and in the end (somehow) successful to get her to admit the truth.

GO EVA WHEN SHE WENT TO CORRINE AND CONFRONTED HER. GOD I WAS SO HYPE.

IMO, I thought it to be predictable when her mom was doubled over after lunch in the street, I knew immediately she had seen her daughters rapist and knew Gideon would kill him. However, the plot was good to get there. Like actually pretty good. I LOVED her development when she broke up with him, grieved (valid), and grew as a person, living in a new place, not being co-dependent on him. They were genuinely so toxic throughout the book but I’m really liked that the characters didn’t deny that, they spoke it into existence, acknowledged it, and TOOK ACTION with couples therapy.

The pediatrician, Gideon’s mother, his step brother, can all go to hell. They infuriated me. But their part in his upbringing made much more sense about his hesitancy. Also, finding out Gideon saw videos of her as a child taken by her rapist I think was a crucial aspect in the book, but I didn’t realize it until later on. Both of them struggling with themselves and their fears of losing the other person based on traumatic events out of their control, speaks volumes to the eventual growth and development between them.

Oh my god this book. First, I loved it. It was so good. The amount of highlights I have in a book usually depicts how much I liked it and this one had 246 (surprisingly kinda low but the book was on the shorter side). I fear I have a problem with highlighting as I will mark things that are extremely important to the actual plot and not just the characters themselves. So, if I happen to take a break form the series, I can go back and look at the big moments and get a better detailed summary before diving into to the next book.

At the moment, I am writing this review AFTER finishing the second book, Reflected In You. Currently regretting that decision, but I was excited about getting to the next book after I loved this one so much; I shouldn’t have set my hopes that high…

Anyways, there was A LOT going on in this book. God they are so toxic but it’s so addicting to read LOL.