となりのメタラーさん

I actually want to fucking scream. I've never... Related... To a character so hard like I did with Soushi when reading this. I'm not into metal or any of its variants, but reading him talking about how the metal music and intimidating look prevented people from talking to him hit me like a train. Seeing him dealing, growing, and how his generalized anxiety, his social anxiety, and his possible AVPD kept him from conveying important shit or even living a goddamn life felt like I'd been thrown off a fucking plane. Seeing him trying to speak up made me cry more than once because I know... I know how that feels when you're on the verge of passing out because there's so much weight on you to speak. Coming from someone with AVPD and BPD and struggling with that constant tug-of-war of wanting to speak, wanting to make friends, and wanting to keep the friends you somehow made while so much of you is scared to do so at the same time fucking sucks. I've been that person starting from 5th grade that had a permeate depressing look, a permeate intimidating look just so people wouldn't come up to me. Hell, I still do! The moment I had with this book...

Anyway, the story was great, I had an existential crisis, and I'm looking to buy this physically.