A Charm of Finches

3/19/19 PSA
Clearing up some confusion: this book is emphatically not a menage story in any way, shape, or form. There's nothing wrong with m/m/m or any permutation thereof, but this is NOT that story. /// also gave me a chance to edit some CRAZY in my review. eek!!! I do know the difference between your & you're face palm

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I'm so glad I listened to my GR peeps. Your gushing over this book tipped the scales (fine, I already owned the paperback) to my reading it. I purposely only looked at ratings and GIFs because, aside from what I already knew from [b:An Exaltation of Larks|29637128|An Exaltation of Larks (Venery, #1)|Suanne Laqueur|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1475940614s/29637128.jpg|49995616] and suspected, I wanted to go in blind. I didn't even read the blurb on the back of the book. Best decision ever. I. Loved. It.

After a brief, present day prologue, this book picks up a year ago, pretty much where Larks ended. Jav is heading back to The City to regroup and lick his wounds, but before leaving Guelisten and the whole Alex & Val mess he stops by Trelawney's and fate gifts him with Steffen Finch. His own personal curator. With Stef comes a whole world: hard, soft, and lived-in, a garden planted chock full of White Jasmin, Honeysuckle, Black-Eyed Susans, and Corpse Flowers too. It's just around the corner. This is what I'd been missing in the previous book. A living breathing community of people I believe exist, some of whom I'll run into at a local coffee shop. I'm sure.

Stef is an art therapist and an an artist. One of the strengths of the book, IMO, is that though the author, doesn't shy away from the horrors mental health professionals have to try and shore up everyday, she doesn't indulge in suffering for suffering's sake. The cases that Stef and his colleagues deal with are sadly and horrifically familiar to anyone aware of current events, even if just in passing. I like how [a:Suanne Laqueur|8317803|Suanne Laqueur|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1403016536p2/8317803.jpg] shows Stef doing his job with care and dedication but also being human, a pretty great human, but just human. He does his job because it's his vocation, he's a kvater, but he also protects himself, as he must, by meditating, tattoos, or the embrace of his near and dear ones. Also he loves food. Did I mention I love him? Because I do. I really, really do. heart eyes

One of Stef's cases ends up being Geno Caan, a teenage boy who goes through hell on earth and lives to tell the tale. Genos's journey from sad, but innocent, to victim of unspeakable horror, to where we leave him at the end of the book has the ring and smell of truth, optimistic perhaps, but why not? he deserves so much more. Maybe he'll have another story to tell that's less gruesome. I think it was smart to bring Geno in contact with people like Micah and Lilia. Living proof that it's possible to go on and have a life despite of or to spite the forces of evil in the universe; and isn't that why we read romance? Kicking sand in the eyes of the Sauron's of the world.

I'm sure the readers of Larks are wondering, what about Jav? He's great. Finally at 45 Javier is getting to be the person he always wanted to be, has freed himself from the shackles of his past, and good riddance to bad rubbish. He's also making strides to patch-up his fk up with Alex & Val and all of this is thanks, in no small measure, to having Stef in his life. Stef who opens up his heart and home to Jav without demands or subterfuge. He has permission to go as fast or slow as he likes in their budding relationship and that, to Jav, THE CHOICE, is a revelation and a gift. He's on no one's timetable but his own. It's a beautiful thing. Much to their surprise Stef & Jav find that despite their individual experiences with other men, with relationships, and with love in general that they've come to the right place at the right time and there isn't much to ponder. Jav, being a writer, had a whole story in his head about how his first relationship, with a man no less, would go but as it turns out:

“You're the last chapter,” Jav said. “I went from the prologue to you: I skipped everything in the middle and now I'm in love with you and I don't know what the hell I'm doing.”

He spent long moments tallying up Finch knowledge like gold coins. Stef loved The Police, U2 and R.E.M. He'd read Frank Herbert's Dune series three times. His sneezes always came in threes and fours. He got weird but tremendous satisfaction from sweeping floors. His expression turned distant and sad when he talked about his childhood cat, Ping. Mallomars were his favorite cookie. He kept a stash in the kitchen cabinet and his eyes narrowed when Jav took one. He often laughed in his sleep. He loved to be touched anywhere and everywhere, except the backs of his knees - he'd jump clear out of his skin. Jav kew things like this now.

It was the little things.Things like Jav, who had an enviable and natty wardrobe, choosing to wear Stef's clothes instead. Ignoring cashmere V-necks or merino pullovers, he spent weekdays in Stef's grubby old Skidmore hoodie, his scent lingering in the collar and cuffs. ... It was Roman trotting up to greet Stef at the door, genuinely glad to see him. Or Jav carrying shopping bags for Rory and Lilia.”

what's up with these three letter, one vowel names??? Stef, Stav, Jav???

I thought Larks would be my favorite book of this year but woah was I absolutely wrong... This book is unbelievably profound and touching and evoked so many feelings in me, I can't even describe what I felt. One thing I do know, Finches is going to be one of my most all time favorite books ever because I really don't know if I've read a better book.

Geno is a twin, closely connected to his brother all his life but recently feels them drifting apart after their mother's death. But what happened to Geno in the first couple of chapters just broke me. Harrowing and unspeakable things are done to him during a forty four hour ordeal which ends in his brother's suicide and father's heart broken death. His physical recovery from almost the brink of death takes weeks and months but the psychological toll is too much to even read about, let alone experienced by this boy.

We met Stef at the end of Larks  during his chance encounter with Javier. Stef is an art therapist who specializes in the most distressing cases of rape and abuse and it was so heartening to read about his work. He is a wonderful compassionate person with an unending well of creative ideas that he uses to help his clients deal with the most horrifying experiences of their lives. He is thoughtful, he is gentle but he is also resolute and I can't even imagine the mental strength he has to deal with everything.

Jav has given up on his escorting and is now a full time writer but he is also lonely, and finally wants to find love. His chemistry with Stef is pretty much awesome from the first meeting but they are both vulnerable and have never really been in meaningful relationships before. Their slow burn relationship is just too beautiful to read about and they complement each other perfectly. Jav is uncertain about finding true love on his first try but Stef is always there with his unconditional love to prove him wrong. Stef is very adamant about not bringing his work home but it's not always possible and when he can't handle it all anymore, Jav is right there to unburden him. Their quiet moments, the silences, their conversations, the understanding they have about each other's sexual limitations - it's all so wonderful and I think one of the most fervent relationships I've ever read about.

This might be about Jav and Stef's love but the heart of this book is Geno. He is violated in so many ways but his journey of picking up the pieces of his life and finding himself again is full of pain but also indomitable strength. He may have lost everyone in his family but he slowly starts forming relationships, first with a few guys in college and then with survivors like him at the Exodus Project. His relationship with Stef starts off in a professional manner but its develops into so much more deeper, almost brotherly love. Even Jav can't help but admire Geno for his tenacity and endurance. Every single character is well fleshed out with backstories and all of them are essential parts of Geno's journey of survival.

The author's writing is evocative and emotional and utterly devastating but I wouldn't have it any other way. She brings out the best in the characters and intense emotions in the readers and I laughed and cried and felt heartbroken and also hopeful. Her research into survivor's guilt, their reactions and triggers, art therapy and certain historical events is very thorough and it reflects in every word on every page. We learn so much about the survivors - what they endure, what they feel and how they survive. It also teaches us to be more compassionate and thoughtful because we have no idea what anyone has been through. The author also leaves us with lots of questions - about the best and worst of humanity, what will a person do to survive, how do we move on when we never get answers to the questions that are eating at us, about the silenced demographic of male rape survivors whose stories we never get to hear because of our society's norms on masculinity, and ultimately, what are the little ways in which we can help. 

This story might start with a basement of horrors but its a beautiful tale of love, loss, survival, strength, friendship and family. Reading the book will put your heart through a wringer but you will end it feeling a little better and hopeful. It can be read as a standalone but knowing more about Jav's backstory in Larks definitely enriched my experience. It doesn't matter what your favorite genre is, I feel this is a book everyone should read because it might just make us a better person. It will definitely make us want to be one.