Will Lex be willing to sacrifice his long-held secrets for true love? Nick Barker was thrilled. A summer working on his college roommate's family ranch was a dream come true for a veterinary student. He didn't anticipate his reaction to his best friend and roommate's father, though. Lex Whitefeather hired his son Sam's best friend for the summer. He figured he'd be generous and help the kid out. He wasn't expecting the young Adonis who stepped off the plane. Nick Barker was no kid. Years of repressed sexual desires rose to the surface that summer. When Lex and Nick finally come together and admit their feelings, Lex is plagued by guilt. He's not “out” to his family and friends. Lex pushes Nick away with his unwillingness to open up to his family. A few years later, Nick is back on the ranch...
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2 Hearts Because I'm feeling generous and there were no grammatical issues, poor spelling, or malapropisms. Also the book was well formatted and the cover was pretty. Yes. I'm grading on a curve.
Where do I begin? I'm not super into cowboys but sometimes the mood strikes and who am I to say no to a whim? Rope, saddles, and spurs will take you a long way. Was it too much to ask? I'm sort of flabbergasted that something that had so much potential went so wrong so quick.
It's the summer break from college and Nick Barker has traveled with his friend Sam to Sam's home, the Lazy River Ranch. Here he is meeting Lex Whitefeather (more on that later) Sam's father when he comes to pick them up at the airport:
“Oh sweet fuck,” he mumbled. Sam's dad was even better-looking than his picture. Standing at least six-foot-four, the man was some kind of god to be worshipped. His Native American heritage was evident in his long, silky black hair and bronzed skin. Nick allowed his eyes to travel up the faded jeans showing off a pair of legs that went on forever, ending with a very impressive bulge. Nick swallowed. Jesus, I'm in trouble. How am I supposed to suppress and erection for an entire summer?”
Let that sink in. This f%kery is at 6%, page 3 by my count!!! Once again I wondered if perhaps I'd missed the blurb telling me this was a shifter story. Nope. As for the erection lasting all summer I hear one should consult a doctor for such symptoms. In any case I persisted, how bad could it be? A few pages later:“They rode the rest of the way singing to old country songs on the radio. Lex's voice was so deep and scratchy it gave Nick goosebumps. They pulled onto the ranch road under a sign that had Lazy River burned into a huge log. Nick thought his eyes would bug out of his head when the house came into view. He'd never seen anything like it. ... Nick had never seen anything this cool even in magazines.”Really? No Architectural Digest, Dwell, or Elle Decor lying around? Sheesh. It turns out that Nick is, of course, an orphan and an unhappy graduate of the foster system. As a narrative device this is perfect. His past is summed up in a paragraph and he has no pesky relatives or for that matter friends to hinder his absolute and immediate absorption with Lex. I wasn't mad at this. I thought a little Daddy kink, some age gap ... yes! I'm on board. Alas no such luck. The age difference is there but aside from some half hearted protests from Lex and later an episode followed by preposterousness it's inconsequential. This is just a ridiculous case of insta-lust/insta-love which rubbed me wrong and left me cold at the same time. A couple of weeks go by and Nick, who is studying veterinary medicine, is learning to ride, ogling Lex, and using the home gym in the basement of the “incredible” ranch. One day Lex shows up for a workout and the inevitable sexy times begin including, for me, unnecessary descriptions of each MCs *ahem nether regions: length, girth, fuzziness etc. Lex is fascinated by Nick's hairlessness. He waxes. Here's a snippet:
“Lex stripped off his shorts before pulling Nick to his knees. Lex began to stroke his own erection and NIck was mesmerized by the work of art in his hand. Darker than his bronzed skin, Lex's cock was long, hard and fatter than most Nick had taken inside him. It appeared as if Lex was holding a tree branch in his hand.”
Or:
“Come on me. I want to feel your cum dripping down my body.” “Damn, that's the sexiest thing anyone's ever said to me,” Nick said ...”
Really? The sexiest? I sort of feel bad for poor Nick.
What to say about Lex? He's evidently some kind of Native American, but also half white? His son Sam has apparently inherited blue eyes and small frame from Lex's mother, however much is made, particularly by Nick, of Lex's bronze skin and long black hair almost to the point of a fetish but that's as far or as deep as his heritage matters. I'm not super PC but maybe a little more could've been done with this? Or maybe, considering the rest of the book, it's a good thing it was left on the surface.
After a week of boning Nick decides he can't stay and be a secret and Lex of course is deep in the closet and can't come out because reasons so with a broken heart Lex drives his true love to the airport and proceeds to mourn his loss. For Three Years. Yep. Three Years. Cue sad music and rain montages.
crickets
Three years later Sam, who had been angry at Nick for leaving, without knowing why he left, is getting married and invites Nick back to the ranch for the wedding and as a way to repair the friendship. Even though he doesn't know if his heart can withstand the reunion, Nick decides to go back because he's not over Lex. He hasn't even been able to have sex with anyone else in Three Years!
“His cock refused to work for anyone except Lex, and Lex didn't want it anymore.”
You read it here first. And guess what? Lex has been celibate too! It's all good though because as soon as Lex picks Nick up at the airport and a quick lunch they're rubbing nasties in the truck and calling each other baby and honey and that's the least ridiculous of the dialogue that follows. It seems that though Lex has been a lifelong closet case and Nick has become a monk since their one-week-sexual-tryst they're both avid porn watchers or pulp readers and parrot all of the cheesiest lines. The afterglow of their first post separation encounter doesn't disappoint:
“Nick crawled into Lex's arms and started licking cum off his hand. “I love your taste almost as much as I love you.”Lex looked at him with tears in his eyes. “I love you too. I'll love you ‘til the day I die.”
Up to this point I'd had some G&T's and was rolling with it. Why not? I thought this could even go in my “so-bad-they're-good” shelf but the nonsense reached ridiculous levels in the next few chapters.
Lex suffers a pretty serious medical condition and, true my eyes were glazed over a bit, but I think that within a week or less he was not only home but deepthroating Nick. Impressive or as I call it at home, bull s*%t. Whichever. At this point I don't know what would be considered spoilers but I can't skip a little detail of the Lex & Nick love fest. Again within the week after Lex's medical emergency the lovers decide that not only do they want to get married ASAP or have some kind of commitment ceremony but that they also want rings. Nipple Rings. Normal. Yep. That's what I was dealing with. There's more but I won't ruin it for someone who may enjoy this brand of crazy. You never. I try to not judge but a few people may be put off by some of the role play these two get into during their marital bliss sex play. Just sayin'.
