A Reason to Live

This originally appeared at The Irresponsible Reader.
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Earlier this year, I read the eighth book in this series, Chasing the Pain, and enjoyed it enough that I had to go back to the first book and read the whole series.

“What's your first move?”

“We've narrowed it down to Michael Wheeler or the rest of humanity,” I said. “So let's start with Wheeler.”

A REASON TO LIVE

I'd been treating cancer like it was the flu, an inconvenience that I'd have to put up with temporarily. Except cancer wasn't just a sore throat and a fever, and chemo wasn't just a shot in the arm. Cancer wasn't a bump in the road—it was the road, and I'd better make plans to treat it that way. My life, as I knew it, had changed for good.

Amanda's face was animated, happy. I realized I wanted it to stay that way. Why? Was it feelings of guilt from a job poorly done more than a decade ago? I'd probably done worse things to more people over the years and I wasn't hustling to make amends with them. Was it paternal? Misplaced feelings for a kid I'd never had? Maybe. But the real reason was closer at hand. It didn't take much imagination to wonder what I'd be doing right now, how I would feel, if she hadn't had the guts to walk up to me

and

A REASON TO LIVE

And what became clear to me in that infinite moment is that, ironically, a man with cancer has more options than one that doesn't. Having already stared my own mortality in the face, I couldn't really be threatened with death.