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“If we were all on trial for our thoughts, we would all be hanged”Maids Dreams Asylum Religion SubconsciousWhile reading Austen, I have often wondered about the lives of those in the background. Those actually get any work done. It is strange that I came across this book only by chance.In the mid 1800s, Grace alias Mary Whitney (or maybe Mary Whitney is the real deal, and it's Mary Whitney alias Grace) a maid, is tried in court at the age of 16 for the murder of the house owner and housekeeper. The story unfolds with Grace walking us through her life as she talks with a psychologist, Dr. Jordan.Disclaimer:It is long, unbearably so. You know it is good; you can't stop reading, but you wish it would just hurry up and end. And if you are here for a murder mystery, bye-bye. Though there is murder and mystery in it, the appeal is not in its resolution. It is in the writing and the ideas.While reading the book, I imagined myself sitting behind a one-way mirror, listening to Dr. Jordan interview Grace. She's not supposed to know that someone else is watching her. But I think she knows. We came for clarity, but it's still a façade. Her guard is up all the time.There is a childlike innocence to this narrative of murder and madness.Grace is brought up religious and knows her Bible front-to-back. Yet, there is a ruthless practicality to her thoughts that quite frequently leaves her religious beliefs helpless. Many parts of the book reflect on the unfairness and impracticality of religion in real life, especially in the lives of people like Grace.“...because the only thing to do about God is to go on with what you were doing anyway, since you can't ever stop him or get any reasons out of him. There is a Do this or a Do that with God, but not any Because.”This is only my second book of Atwood's. Still, I'm pretty sure that the rest of them also feature badass women in crappy circumstances. There are few other authors who portray them so well. (Check out [b: Aarachar 33215688 ആരാച്ചാര് Aarachar K.R. Meera https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1480602706l/33215688.SY75.jpg 23575547], if you like Atwood.)“In his student days , he used to argue that if a woman has no other course open to her but starvation, prostitution or throwing herself from a bridge, then surely the prostitute, who has shown the most tenacious instinct for self-preservation, should be considered stronger and saner than her frailer and no longer living sisters. One couldn't have it both ways, he'd pointed out: if women are seduced and abandoned they're supposed to go mad, but if they survive and seduce in their turn, then they were mad to begin with.”It is striking that all men are viewed either with indifference or hatred by Grace, unlike most other women in the book. I think we are never meant to know what she really feels. She has lost everything; she left no trace. She shared her dreams with us, but not with Dr. Jordan. Her feelings are hers to keep; it's up to us to guess.” A prison does not only lock its inmates inside, it keeps all others out. Her strongest prison is of her own construction.