All the Single Ladies
Ratings18
Average rating4.1
15
Ratings18
Average rating4.1
"Today, only twenty percent of Americans are wed by age twenty-nine, compared to nearly sixty percent in 1960. The Population Reference Bureau calls it a 'dramatic reversal.' [This book presents a] portrait of contemporary American life and how we got here, through the lens of the single American woman, covering class, race, [and] sexual orientation, and filled with ... anecdotes from ... contemporary and historical figures"--
In 2010, award-winning journalist Rebecca Traister started a book that she thought would be about the twenty-first-century phenomenon of the American single woman. Over the course of her research, Traister made a startling discovery: historically, when women have had options beyond early heterosexual marriage, their resulting independence has provoked massive social change. Unmarried women were crucial to the abolition, suffrage, temperance, and labor movements; they created settlement houses and secondary education for women. Today, only 20% of Americans are wed by age 29, compared to nearly 60% in 1960. The Population Reference Bureau calls it a "dramatic reversal." Traister sets out to examine how this generation of independent women is changing the world. This is a remarkable portrait of contemporary American life and how we got here, through the lens of the single American woman. Covering class, race, and sexual orientation, and filled with vivid anecdotes from fascinating contemporary and historical figures, this book is destined to be a classic work of social history and journalism.--Adapted from dust jacket.
Working on a book about single women in the twenty-first-century, Traister made a startling discovery: historically, when women have had options beyond early heterosexual marriage, their resulting independence has provoked massive social change. Unmarried women were crucial to the abolition, suffrage, temperance, and labor movements; they created settlement houses and secondary education for women. Today, only 20% of Americans are wed by age 29, compared to nearly 60% in 1960. Through the lens of the single American woman, Traister covers issues of class, race, and sexual orientation.
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3.5 stars, rounding up. As you can see from how long it took me to read this, I had trouble getting into this one for some reason - maybe it's because there wasn't much of a narrative? (I know it's nonfiction, but nonfiction can totally have a narrative.) It's basically chapters all focusing on certain aspects of being a single woman in the USA, with some historical background and contemporary stories. I liked the intersectional approach, and I never felt like the book was exclusively about well-off white women in urban areas. A little more politics/policy throughout would have been nice, but I did enjoy this book and its perspective on an important and underserved group, especially in this crazy-ass election year.
(Bookriot Read Harder 2016 Challenge: #21 Read a book about politics, in your country or another, fiction or nonfiction)
I loved the first few chapters of the book, which discussed the history of independent women, and I found myself nodding along in agreement.
However, the middle of the book failed to capture my attention. The author interviewed many women who initially claimed to embrace singlehood, but then ended up getting married later in life. So, okay, I have no issues with women who want to get married, but I was expecting more stories from either single women or women in unmarried partnerships. I was disappointed in reading so many anecdotes of marriage when I really wanted to read accounts of women who didn't get married.
I was really excited to read this book on why women aren't getting married any more. But I wasn't wowed. I found Traister's treatment of the subject to be very superficial – focusing on what she and her friends were experiencing, with pretty limited deeper analysis. When she did turn to statistics, she employed a lot of motivated reasoning including interpretation of statistics that I didn't believe were significantly different. It was clear sometimes that she had a pet theory that she couldn't let go of, for instance, when she talked about how urbanization made single life easier, brushing off that the woman in her exemplary anecdote had to move out of NYC to Virginia to survive as a single mother. Also, her work really focused on singleness among highly educated, affluent white women. She had a chapter on African American women, but the breezy anecdotal tone of the book really didn't translate well to this. Even more than other chapters it felt like she interviewed one black woman (Nancy Giles) and generalized from there in favor of her hypothesis. Traister herself is married and waited until she was married to have children, and she really resists acknowledging that the postponement of both marriage and children among highly educated, affluent women is a different beast socially, psychologically and from a woman's liberation perspective than the childbirth before (and instead) of marriage among less privileged women. She references [b:Promises I Can Keep: Why Poor Women Put Motherhood Before Marriage 73305 Promises I Can Keep Why Poor Women Put Motherhood Before Marriage Kathryn Edin https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1438872307l/73305.SY75.jpg 1500229] a few times, but keeps returning to “my life is great! I have a career and female friends and a husband and kids. Isn't single life amazing for women?!
This book is about the current trend of women marrying later in life or not at all and the conditions that have contributed to this new situation. It is also about the history of when in life women got married, and what was said and thought about women who didn't get married. I had the unusual sensation of feeling external validation for my single status while reading this book (I've worked long and hard on the internal validation), so I think it's worth saying that if you're a single lady, this book will make you feel kind of proud of yourself and also relieved that you're not living in another time.
The book has fascinating interviews with many unmarried women, some famous (Anita Hill, Gloria Steinem), most not. It has notes in the back, and an appendix of recommendations from the author for policies that would help make life more equitable for single women in the US.
The author, Rebecca Traister, has had commentary pieces in the news lately, as so many sexual harassment and assault allegations have come out. Her writing has a definite point of view which resonates with me, but is also beautifully plain. I'm looking forward to reading more of her.
