Attached to God

Rating: 5 stars of 5 (Review from my blog.)

Attached to God was written by licensed professional counselor, Krispin Mayfield. In it, he explores the idea that the attachment styles often referenced in the psychology field also show up in the ways we relate to and interact with God.

We are introduced to three different attachment styles in the book: anxious, shame-filled, and shutdown styles, and are asked to take a brief quiz to determine which spiritual attachment style seems to be our predominant one. Each type is then described in depth so the reader can learn more about how the styles tend to manifest in a person???s spiritual life. Secure attachment is also explored as we learn to recognize healthy versus unhealthy emotional and behavioral patterns.

One of the things that was really interesting to me as I read was that as I learned about unhealthy aspects of certain attachment styles, I recognized symptoms of those styles as having been present in the ways that churches I have attended in the past approached ministry, teaching, relating to people???even their theology and worship styles. That the kinds of narratives used to uphold inaccurate teaching in church settings can stem from unhealthy attachment styles was something I found both fascinating and heartbreaking. It really emphasized the importance of having spiritually and emotionally healthy people in leadership positions that involve preaching or teaching. When we are in those positions as emotionally unhealthy people, we often export our own heart sickness to other people the same way we would spread a bacteria or virus. I was able to connect a lot of the bad fruit we are seeing in churches to unhealthy attachment styles as I read this book.

I found the book personally relevant as well, and appreciated that for each unhealthy attachment style, Krispin provided tools for reframing our thinking, implementing healthier spiritual practices, and learning to live from a place of belovedness that can then spill over into our interactions with others.

There were a few times that I had follow-up questions about something in the book or didn???t end up in the same place the author had, but overall, I really appreciated the conversation this book brought to the table and would highly recommend it to other people of faith. It is challenging yet gentle, insightful, and offers a lot for us to think about as we continue to grow. I found it to be a very helpful read.

In chapter six, the author asks: ???What has your heritage given you? Have you been given distorted pictures of God that feel like heavy burdens you can hardly carry? How have these distortions harmed marginalized people or perpetuated injustice, rather than eradicated it? Have you felt the longing for a clear picture of a God who really has good news for everyone???? If those questions resonate with you, I highly recommend this book.