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Average rating4.2
From the host of the podcast Terrible, Thanks for Asking—called “a gift” by The New York Times—a raw and humorous essay collection in the spirit of Jenny Lawson and Samantha Irby. Nora McInerny does not dance like no one is watching. In fact, she dances like everyone is watching, which is to say, she does not dance at all. A bestselling author and host of the beloved podcast Terrible, Thanks for Asking, she has captured the hearts of millions with her disarming and earnest approach to discussing grief and loss. Now, with Bad Vibes Only, she turns her eye on our aggressively, oppressively optimistic culture, our obsession with self-improvement, and what it really means to live authentically in the online age. In essays that revisit her cringey past and anticipate her rapidly approaching, early middle-aged future, McInerny lays bare her own chaos, inviting us to drop the façade of perfection and embrace the truth: that we are all—at best—slightly unhinged. Socrates claimed that the unexamined life is not worth living. Bad Vibes Only is for people who have taken that dictum a bit too far—the overthinkers, the analyzers, the recovering Girl Bosses, and the burned-out personal brand—reminding us that a life worth living is about more than just “good vibes.”
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This is a book I'd buy and display for the cover and title alone. As an outgoing yet wildly introverted human who's been gifted that “Please Leave By 9” banner by not one but several friends, and whose attempts at small talk either fall flat or evolve (devolve?) into therapy-esque territory in the first five minutes, I laughed out loud when I saw this book. The only way I'd ever display one of those horrible, ubiquitous ‘Good Vibes Only' signs is if I'd been kidnapped and needed to somehow signal to my loved ones that all was not well without tipping off my kidnappers, so, yes, I felt deeply and immediately seen.
Moving along to the content! Like the author, I am a Taylor Swift aficionado. She's a spectacular songwriter - and the gorgeous, gut-punching power of her work comes from her specificity. The ten-minute masterpiece All Too Well, for example, is chock-full of details - and while I've never literally left a scarf at a former lover's sister's house (as far as I'm aware), nor have I had weepy encounters with famous actresses in party bathrooms, I scream-sing along and I feel every bit of the emotion in it. On the other hand, it's no coincidence that ME!, arguably the most maligned song in her discography, is also her most generic.
I swear this digression has a point, and it's this: By far my favorite essays were the ones where McInerny got personal, sharing specific details of her and her loved ones' lives. In my opinion, two of the standouts were ‘Stay-At-Home Mom', where she examines her lack of interest in travel (in stark contrast to her activity- and adventure-inclined second husband) and then relates their dynamic to the disparities in her parents' relationship, and ‘Asking for a Friend', in which she recounts growing apart from - and eventually reconnecting with - her childhood friends after her first husband dies. On the other hand, ‘Competitive Parenting Association', which didn't center or even mention her own experiences, read like a tired (if amusingly written) rant I could probably recite offhand if required. Overall, I liked most of these essays and loved a few - and in all seriousness, I'm in awe of McInerny's ability to find the humor in almost everything.
When I think of books to compare this to, strangely, Bittersweet by Susan Cain comes to mind. While that's traditional nonfiction and this, while true to her own life, decidedly isn't, it felt like a more casual, more personal, and far funnier exploration of that same phenomenon.
Thanks to NetGalley and Atria Books for an ARC in exchange for my honest opinion.