Becoming Better Grownups

Brad Montague sets off on a Listening Tour, visiting 100 schools in 50 states, asking children questions about life and listening carefully to their answers, and then stopping to talk with Better Grownups and to discover their ideas about how to live a good life.

And what does he learn?

A lot.

Montague comes away from the experience with the desire to be a better grownup and with lots of ideas about how to do that.

The most important thing he learns about being a better grownup is that children would like for grownups to show up and listen.

The author shares several good stories in the book: lobsters and how they grow; an asteroid aims for earth and the solution is a tiny nudge; and Grandma takes his new bike for a ride. I'll let you read these for yourself.

A few good quotes from the book:

“Everything from lower levels of substance abuse to higher grade-point averages and stronger self-esteem were correlated with kids' spending small amounts of quality time with caring grownups in their lives.”

Montague, Brad. Becoming Better Grownups (p. 46). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.


“I grew up on a farm and remember my dad explaining the play of puppies as “practice.” For puppies, being aggressive with one another is a way of being social. It's a way of play-acting real situations that might come up in the future for them. They're practicing. I grew up to find that my father's definition of play as “practice” was actually scientifically correct.”

Montague, Brad. Becoming Better Grownups (p. 66). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.


Whew. This quote gave me chills.

“The absence of play was a major factor in predicting criminal behavior.”

Montague, Brad. Becoming Better Grownups (p. 67). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.


“When we're children, we communicate like musicians who are still learning to play their instruments. Imagine the supremely talented Louis Armstrong with a song fully formed inside him, yet with no way of bringing it out into the world. We hit the wrong notes and play in the wrong key. Sometimes we can't even find our trumpet.”

Montague, Brad. Becoming Better Grownups (p. 139). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.


You can't hear this one enough times:

‘“Love is at the root of everything, all learning, all relationships—love or the lack of it.” Like most of the elemental things I've learned in my life, this was taught to me by Fred Rogers.'

Montague, Brad. Becoming Better Grownups (p. 140). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.


“It was also a lovely reminder that many things are contagious—anger, fear, yawns. But hope, love, and joy are the best kind of contagious. Good can, and does, spread.”

Montague, Brad. Becoming Better Grownups (p. 194). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.