Blood of Hercules

Blood of Hercules is, without a doubt, the worst book I’ve read this year. I only managed to finish it because I was determined to hit my reading goals for the year, but it was a slog from start to finish.

The prose is clunky and awkward, often trying too hard to sound modern but failing miserably. Instead of creating an immersive world rooted in Roman mythology, the author peppers the dialogue and narration with TikTok jargon that feels jarringly out of place. It’s hard to take the stakes seriously in a futuristic Roman-inspired world when characters are saying things like, “Slay, queen, slay” in life-or-death situations.

The world-building is another letdown. The concept of a patriarchal dystopia could have been compelling, but instead, it comes across as lazy and frustrating. The main character is a meek, helpless female who can’t seem to function without alpha males bullying her into submission. I found myself cringing every time she was “rescued” or “protected” because it often felt more like she was being controlled.

To be fair, I’m aware I might not be the target audience for this book.

Rather than dissect this book further, I’ll let its own words speak for it. Here are a few quotes I highlighted that should give you an idea of whether this is your cup of tea:

• “Since the Spartans were also known for having sex with anyone and everyone—they had no biases about genders and usually dated (were slutty) with multiple people at once—it was a fad for humans to emulate their sexually free lifestyle.”

• “Suddenly the old beliefs that women had “hysteria” problems didn’t seem so far-fetched.

I could see it.

Case in point, I was a woman, and I was hysterical.”

• “You are a woman in a man’s world. It’s a dishonor on all of us for allowing this to continue. Make smarter choices, or . . . there will be consequences, Alexis.” My name fell from his lips, like it was the wickedest of sins. “You’re not proving what you think you are for women—you’re just screwing yourself.”

I don’t think I’m proving anything. I’m just trying to survive.

“If you can’t take care of yourself,” he said softly, “someone else might step in to do it for you. You’ve been warned.”

• “Perfect,” Helen squealed. “I’m a genius. Everyone’s gonna lose it when they see you.” She clapped. “Cunt—absolute cunt, served.”

Excuse me? What did she just call me?

Youth culture was upsetting.”

If those quotes make you curious, maybe this book is for you. If not, you’re better off skipping this one. For me, Blood of Hercules is a hard pass.