Criminal Collective

This originally appeared at The Irresponsible Reader.
—

Murder is just another service the nation's capital has to offer. Like any service industry, you get what you pay for. Less than a grand, in some quarters, will buy you a thug with a baseball bat and a good swing. And at no extra cost they'll usually tell all their friends about it then spill their guts to the police, once they're hauled into an interview room.

Creating a dead body is the easy bit. Making it vanish, without questions, now, that's skilled work. If you pay the extra, someone like me will make the body, the evidence and any troublesome connections melt away, like snow in a heatwave.

CRIMINAL COLLECTIVE

Do you struggle to know the best place to bury a dead gambler?

Do health care professionals laugh at your attempts to fake a slipped disc?

Do your weapons choices leave you embarrassed at punishment beatings?

If the answer is yes, then Criminal Collective is the book for you! Nineteen stories, each one written to help navigate the tricky etiquette of being a scumbag in the 21st century.

Never again be left nonplussed by the rules of Roadkill Roulette!

Never again mistake your German Virgins for your Automatic Nuns!

Never again leave your fingerprints on a golok!

Criminal Collective! Permanent solutions in an uncertain world.

All the troubles I've had over the years have been handed to me by the living not the dead.

CRIMINAL COLLECTIVE

“I never wanted a different life, Dad,” Liam said. “I was trying to change who I was. I wanted to be someone who wanted the life I had.”

* That's not an exaggeration.