Daodejing

You know when you meet a stupid person? We've all met a stupid person. And sometimes, you don't know they're stupid right away. You give them the benefit of the doubt, because hey, assuming someone is stupid is rude. And occasionally, you'll be talking to this theoretical stupid person, and you'll be explaining something to them - physics, politics, math, where Denmark is- and you see in their eyes that they aren't home. As you were speaking, their chief brain cell let the other two brain cells take the rest of the day off and you are witnessing the mass exodus of every potentiality for them to have a thought, and it's just you explaining how probabilities work to an empty shell of a turtle who has moved on to a different, dumber shell. And what else can you do, but finish telling them what you were telling them, despite knowing that they are clinically dead, you might as well be speaking these words to an empty balloon, at least that way, you might get half a balloon.

That was me reading this. I am the stupid person. My brain doesn't work this way at all. I didn't get a single thing from this. Every line, I was just “