Dark Places by Gillian Flynn

I have a meanness inside me, real as an organ.Libby Day was seven when her mother and two sisters were murdered in "The Satan Sacrifice of Kinnakee, Kansas." As her family lay dying, little Libby fled their tiny farmhouse into the freezing January snow. She lost some fingers and toes, but she survived--and famously testified that her fifteen-year-old brother, Ben, was the killer. Twenty-five years later, Ben sits in prison, and troubled Libby lives off the dregs of a trust created by well-wishers who've long forgotten her. The Kill Club is a macabre secret society obsessed with notorious crimes. When they locate Libby and pump her for details--proof they hope may free Ben--Libby hatches a plan to profit off her tragic history. For a fee, she'll reconnect with the players from that night and report her findings to the club . . . and maybe she'll admit her testimony wasn't so solid after all.As Libby's search takes her from shabby Missouri strip clubs to abandoned Oklahoma tourist towns, the narrative flashes back to January 2, 1985. The events of that day are relayed through the eyes of Libby's doomed family members--including Ben, a loner whose rage over his shiftless father and their failing farm have driven him into a disturbing friendship with the new girl in town. Piece by piece, the unimaginable truth emerges, and Libby finds herself right back where she started--on the run from a killer.From the Hardcover edition.

i think i listened to this book exclusively in the shower and it really felt like a good fit for this book ya know? like scary suspense in the shower?! count me in

pros:
— every scene between libby and ben was intense and emotional and the discomfort/relief present was portrayed beautifully
— realistic depiction of sibling dynamics is always appreciated

cons:
— the whodunnit sucked and made no sense and the mom was so stupid and even if it was desperation or whatever did she really not think that at least one of her kids might wake up and be like “who is this random person in our house” and DIE
— the book got very miserable and very boring by the middle of the story and libby really just isn't that fun of a main character and understand i am very forgiving of imperfect main female leads but it took a long time for me to believe that libby cared about her siblings at all (especially her sisters, which, not going to lie, rubbed me the wrong way because she grew up believing her BROTHER murdered them)
— gillian flynn is the gone girl author right? i don't think she likes women. like at all. diondra is the obvious example of this but the fact that libby is somehow the special magical sibling that ben liked and they have this like... undying connection even two decades later... hmmm...
— ok if it isn't obvious i am very rubbed that ben did not like his other siblings more and even libby took 4/5 of the entire damn book to confess any emotional attachment to michelle and debby like this book would have been way better if i knew libby actually liked her sisters early on
— like come on the entire premise of this book rides on the fact that libby was the sister that survived because if it had been debby that had lived none of this would have happened
— all the adults in this book were kind of stupid and here's the thing. you have a book from the perspective of kids, right? and the proper way to handle this kind of dynamic is to obviously place them side-by-side against the adults in their life that failed them and examine what went wrong in a scooby-doo fashion of “the adults are useless”. that didn't happen here, not only were the adults useless but there was also no real feeling of “the kids didn't deserve what happened to them” until near the end
— and even THEN the character i'm talking about (ben) immediately fucking ruins himself. like, for two whole seconds, in the scene with him writing down krissi day (i thought this was good writing actually) and some realization that he was just planning his daughter's life–i thought, wow, ben is actually a good guy? and everyone kind of ruined his life? and he is the worst treated character and definitely has my heart? and then the reveal with him covering up for michelle's murder happened and my sympathy died.

Reading this confirmed that I don't like reading thrillers, just as I don't like watching them. But, I really liked Gone Girl (the film), so when I saw this in the bargain section of a bookstore, I thought - hey, maybe this author writes a thriller I can get behind. Thought wrong.

Let this also be a record that I am far too imaginative and become far too invested in books for thrillers to be a good idea for me, ever, let alone right before I try to fall asleep. Incorporating this book into my pre-bedtime routine resulted in several nights of panicky lost sleep. Not because the book was particularly scary. All it takes it the premise of it all to get my mind going: Satan-worshipping cow-killers, axe-murderers hacking away at a poor farm family in the dead of a winters' night, the psychological trauma that ensues for a survivor of such an incident, etc. etc.

I will say, I did appreciate the ending. Felt neatly tied up and left the whole killing thing feeling less trivialized, more meaningful. But alas, not enough to make me rave about the book: which, though well-written and expertly sequenced, still is just not my cuppa tea.

Meh. Whereas Gone Girl sizzles with & revels in its depravity, this book just kinda trudges depressingly through it. Not the best kind of story to read on maternity leave, really. I think if I'd read it at any other time on my life I would have appreciated it more.