Dreamland

This is a book I've kept on my shelf since I read it as a teenager (along with Keeping the Moon and This Lullaby), and I wasn't sure if it would hold up now that I'm older. But this book hit me just as hard as it did the first time.

This book is about a girl who feels lost and invisible in the aftermath of her sister running away, and it chronicles a romantic relationship that slowly turns abusive.

There are two things that make this book great. First is how it pulls you into Caitlin's emotions. You're right there with her as she struggles with feeling lost, the excitement of Rogerson and doing something new. And you're right there with her the first time he hits her, and she decides not to tell anyone. Because being with him makes everything better, more bearable, and she can't bear to lose that.

The second thing is all the side characters. Stories like this are often written way too deep in the character's head, so that all we see are their thoughts, and other characters are filtered through those thoughts and never right on the page. This book isn't like that. The other characters are vibrant, with their own lives and struggles. And it makes it all the more striking as she withdraws from them, and they either don't notice or can't seem to catch hold of her.

My only critique of this book is that there are some descriptions and language that are no longer PC. It was written in 2000 and you can really feel it sometimes. I had a similar feeling re-reading The Bean Trees, which has some character descriptions that made me cringe, but is another book I absolutely love.

A random thought: I want to say that every teenage girl should read this book, but I wonder if the lack of technology makes it entirely irrelevant. One of the major sequences of the book hinges on the fact that Caitlin is trying to call Rogerson, but he's not at home (this is before cell phones). I feel like this story would be written so differently if it was put out today, with cell phones and social media.

I really enjoyed this book. From reading the synopsis I thought this book was going to be completely different than what it actually was. I do think this is a topic which although sensitive is something in which people should be more aware of. I do like how the characters are all different and how they each have a place within the book. Overall, I recommend this book to teens and parents.

There are some books that you read that you can hardly get through because it hurts so much to read the words printed there so permanently. You hold your breath and try to get through it like you would something physically painful, but necessary. You truly want to stop reading because you cannot stand stand to see where it's going, but you can't stop for fear of never knowing where it ends. Books that tear out your throat and leave you with tears brimming in your eyes. Tears that never spill, but are there for the entirety of the ordeal.

You either feel like this because you know what it feels like to be there or because you can't imagine what it feels like to be there, but it's so scary that you have a visceral reaction to reading the experience. You touch the pages, fingering each word hoping for .... comfort.

Those books are neither pleasant or fulfilling. They leave you raw and unsure if you want more or if you're just glad it's over. Those books break you into a thousand tiny little pieces and your remain too exhausted to pick those pieces back up. Your skin crawls, you feel nauseous and your heartbeat remains irregular for the duration.

You cannot ever say that you ‘liked' those books. You don't recommend them because they're a good fireplace or beach read. You simultaneously want to forget you ever read them and relive every word of every page.

But you do recommend them. You do love them. Someone told your story or narrated your fears. The writing is poetic and insightful. There is beauty in the ugliness and it shines so brightly that you can't ever forget. They fill a hole in you that you had always looked to fill and spoke words you never could articulate on your own.

This is how Dreamland is.

I won't go into any detail. I won't spoil the book for anyone, but I will leave you with only my favorite line in the book which can only be your favorite line if you read the book.

“And when I was finally ready to take a picture of a face, it was hers I chose, sitting on the green grass on a blanket where we'd just finished a picnic of grapes and chocolate chips.”

This review was originally posted on my blog at http://knowitnotsomuch.blogspot.com/2012/12/dreamland.html