Gilead

“In eternity this world will be Troy, I believe, and all that has passed here will be the epic of the universe, the ballad they sing in the streets. Because I don't imagine any reality putting this one in the shade entirely, and I think piety forbids me to try.”

I am incredibly grateful that my return in earnest to the world of literature will forever be bookended by the completion of this book. The last few years have been some of the most challenging my faith has ever faced.

“Rejoice with those who rejoice.” I have found that difficult too often. I was much better at weeping with those who weep.”

How deeply my soul resonates with these words. And yet, like the miraculousness of water or the silent peace of an empty church- God keeps finding ways to break through all the cynicism and fear.

It is remarkable how much beauty and truth Robinson is able to weave together in this small town, country narrative. It is as if she has found every strand of every thing she has ever lived, read, and admired and brought them together in a divine tapestry of heaven and earth. Oftentimes, one feels so immersed in the tangible earthiness of her reality or so high aloft the clouds of her theological pondering as to almost forget her authorship entirely. Her characters are richly human and divinely sparked- regardless of their social status or moral reputation. It is a great credit to her that she imbues all she touches with the same grace and dignity she continues to champion to the reader over and over again with each passing entry from Reverend Ames; namely that “there is more beauty than our eyes can bear, precious things have been put into our hands and to do nothing to honor them is to do great harm.”

There are countless quotes from this book that will stick with me forever. It would be a fool's errand to try to list even half of them here. The fictional diary format allows her access to all sorts of creatively inspired tools of communication- from flowery prose, to theological insight, to captivating stories and unexpected parables. It is a simple conceit- but one that is richly mined for all its worth.

In particular, I loved the second half of the book- wherein we get some of Reverend Ames' (and by extension Robinson herself's) most rich theological insights. 77 years of Ames' perseverance in ministry converge in a holy crescendo; one that my soul desperately needed to hear. It is often remarked that a good book is like a good friend- well, let this book be a testament to that. In many places, the words of Reverend Ames were spoken with such precision as to lodge themselves directly in my heart. His fatherly words to his son were exactly the ones I needed to hear- and though I'm often very reticent to admit this, I have almost no choice in this case but to see this is an act of remarkable provision from God for my feeble soul.

“I think the attempt to defend belief can unsettle it, in fact, because there is always an inadequacy in argument about ultimate things” Robinson writes towards the end of the book. This has certainly been my experience, and it is a testament to grace that this book helped me identify and process through what can often feel so nebulous (or calloused) about doubt. Robinson understands the divine mystery of things- she's “not going to force some theory on a mystery and make foolishness of it, just because that is what people who talk about it normally do.” Her advice might be some of the soundest I've ever heard (and unfortunately seldom hear enough):

“Don't look for proofs. Don't bother with them at all. They are never sufficient to the question, and they're always a little impertinent, I think, because they claim for God a place within our conceptual grasp. And they will likely sound wrong to you even if you convince someone else with them. That is very unsettling over the long term.”

And yet Robinson is not afraid to be direct either- speaking with the words of a father who loves their child too much to not remind them of the perils they can bring upon themselves if they aren't careful:

“I have decided the two choices open to me are (1) to torment myself or (2) to trust the Lord. There is no earthly solution to the problems that confront me.”

It is her deep-rooted empathy for suffering though, that perhaps is her most striking contribution. We see her total and absolute willingness to lean into the divine promise for restoration in lines such as:

“He will wipe the tears from all faces.' It takes nothing from the loveliness of the verse to say that is exactly what will be required”

And

“Now that I look back, it seems to me that in all that deep darkness a miracle was preparing. So I am right to remember it as a blessed time, and myself as waiting in confidence, even if I had no idea what i was waiting for.”

There are many more angles one could analyze this beautiful work from, but my hope is to have wetted at least one more appetite to try it. I leave you with this final quote (and reminder to us all):

“Grace has a grand laughter in it.”

Indeed it does.