Heartless

1.75/5 stars “Why is a raven like a writing-desk?” It's a tragic thing, really, to hate a book you were so much anticipating. Especially by an author you love so much. Yet, here I am, typing up my feelings for this book that may-or-may-not deserve two stars. I wanted to love this book. Especially after [a:Marissa Meyer 4684322 Marissa Meyer https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1357318852p2/4684322.jpg] gave us the gift that is [b:Winter 13206900 Winter (The Lunar Chronicles, #4) Marissa Meyer https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1470057036s/13206900.jpg 18390887], aka one of the best pieces of writing I have personally ever read. I went into this book expecting to devour it, shower it with praises, and give it five stars without even blinking an eye. I mean it's Alice in Wonderland (who doesn't love Alice?) and it's [a:Marissa Meyer 4684322 Marissa Meyer https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1357318852p2/4684322.jpg] and it was given one of the most gorgeous covers I've ever laid eyes on. Perhaps my feelings towards this book was entirely my fault, I hyped it up so much in my brain that is was simply impossible to meet my expectations. Now, I just want to make it clear that even though I have negative feelings towards this book, I can totally understand why so many people love it. Heartless just isn't for me. It may be for you though. It may become your favorite book of all time. So you probably just want to ignore my entire review and create an opinion of your own. This book was going so good at first. I loved the beginning, and how the book jumped into the plot so quickly. When the love interest, Jest, was introduced, he came in with a bang and I instantly loved him (however, I eventually fell out of love...) Mary Ann seemed so sweet, I quickly took a liking to her, maybe too quickly. Even the Cheshire Cat seemed so on point to the original version of the story, that I was certain that other characters would be too. (Spoiler alert: they weren't.) The first 100 or so pages of this book was so good, and I was just so excited to be back into Marissa's imagination that I was trying my hardest to ignore all the things that I wasn't liking. But eventually came the point where I put the book down and had no desire to ever pick it up again. The first thing that didn't work for me is probably the most unpopular opinion of them all: the food. I'm probably that only person, ever, who doesn't like food. Food and I just don't get along. So the constant descriptions of what Cath bakes got old very quickly. It was as if every chapter was like, “Cath made this” or “Cath wanted to bake that” And I was just wanted it to stop. The overly described food was straight out of a cheesy fanfiction and added absolutely nothing to the plot. Then the writing. The writing was the second thing to annoy me. I understand that this is an Alice retelling, so quirky writing is practically a must, but (with no hatred to you, Marissa, as I still love your previous works with all my heart) it felt as if it was trying way too hard. The writing didn't flow smoothly like a published novel should have, but instead was as choppy as a kitchen knife. It felt like the entire manuscript should have been revised two or three more times. Then, when you didn't think it could get any worse, random [a:Lewis Carroll 8164 Lewis Carroll https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1192735053p2/8164.jpg] or [a:Edgar Allan Poe 4624490 Edgar Allan Poe https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1454522972p2/4624490.jpg] quotes would be thrown in at the most inconvenient times. It didn't work. Also, the entire book was so dragged out. This book might have been the greatest test of my perseverance yet. While attempting to read the middle 300 pages, I felt like my eyes were going to fall out of my face and onto the page, the proceed roll away somewhere where they would never have to read anymore. It was pretty much Cath leading the King on, hanging out with Jest when she wasn't suppose to, and complaining that she might not be able to open up a bakery. So let's talk about protagonist Cath. Just, what a bitch. She may seem all nice and innocent, but she's almost as bad as Regina George. I don't remember the last time I hated a main character as much as I hate her. It's gonna be easier if I just list out why. 1. She's so spoiled. Just a classic case of a rich girl who has been given everything she has ever wanted her entire life, but when she doesn't get that one thing, it's the end of the world. And she doesn't even try to get that one thing. She asked her parents, they said no, and she practically just gave up. Oh she did enter that competition to get money, but there was a giant hurdle in the road and she just gave up. 2. She was so rude. The King did absolutely nothing wrong. He was a nice guy who showered Cath with compliments and wanted to make her happy. Except, we were expected to hate him because he wasn't Jest. Cath barely gave him a second glance. Which I understand, like he's not your type and you rather not be with him. I get that. But she doesn't tell him that! Instead of explaining nicely to him that she doesn't reciprocate his feelings, she leads him on. All she had to do was be honest to the king, “I appreciate all that you are doing for me, but I really don't feel the same way about you. I'm so sorry.”Instead, what she say is (well, a summary, as I'm too lazy to scan the book for the exact wording), “Oh, don't propose to me. How about we enter a courtship I have no desire to be in, in which you lust over me even more, and eventually I'm gonna turn you down and break your heart.” 3. Instalove. She literally fell in love with Jest in just a few days, and yet she barely knew anything about him. Yes, he is kinda funny and attractive, so you must be soulmates. 4. The word “no” was not in her vocabulary. This entire plot wouldn't have existed if she just told someone, anyone, no.Jest literally called her brave and I was just like: What??? Boy, you need to redefine your definition of brave??? 5. She also never realized that she could have this AND that One of the didn't want to marry the King because she wouldn't be able to bake anymore? Where is your logic Cath? Becoming a wife doesn't take away your ability to bake. Of course you will be able to cook all that food you overly-described throughout the entire book. Probably in a bigger kitchen too! Maybe you won't be able to run a bakery, but you could totally get away with a catering business or something. I don't want to talk about Cath anymore. I am done with her. Okay, something else about this book. It didn't feel like Wonderland. There was no whimsical feelings about the world or nostalgic memories about Carroll's original work. I'm not an Alice superfan, but I've read and seen many adaptations of Wonderland that made me feel as if I was in Wonderland. This one did not. Also, there was literally a part where they mentioned Alice and I was left so confused? I thought this was a prequel? So for like the eternity of this book, I was annoyed with the title. I like titles that actually deal with themes of the book or events that take place within the book. What I don't like with titles are adjectives that have nothing to do with the book. For example, this title. Actually, let me rephrase that. This title has absolutely nothing to do with anything in the book, and is actually quite misleading, up until the last two chapters, in which the title becomes a major spoiler. I am so proud that I actually finished this book, to be honest. I hate DNF books, and this one came so close so many times. But I finished it, and can add one more read to my challenge, and now focus on books that are worth my time and effort.