Him

8/23/2023 reread - leaving my og review below but ... i have a lot to say on reread. i bumped my rating down to 3 stars, but i know absolutely and completely that if i was reading this for the first time today, it would be 2 stars.

the first time i read this, i think i was so thirsty for any kind of bi rep that i missed a lot of the things in here that are kind of uncomfortable. and i will say it wasn't a completely tortuous read. i think the characters really are fun, and i still love childhood friends-to-lovers to death, plus a big dumb bi awakening ... it's not bad.

but it's not great either. the biphobia alone is enough to leave a very sour taste in my mouth on this reread. and the saddest part to me, is that i think i missed it before, because i had so much internalized biphobia myself, even though i had been out for years. it makes me sad to reread this and realize how much i was still thinking of myself this way. and it makes me sad that this book has it, and it's not dealt with, or called out, or even resolved in any kind of meaningful or healing way.

on top of that, the casual transphobia, sexism, and misogyny in this book runs deep. another thing i didn't notice when i was younger, because i was still so entrenched in so many of those internalized forms of oppression myself. another thing that just makes me sad on reread. you don't have to put women down just to uphold your queer relationship. you don't have to put trans people down just to make yourself feel better about your own identity. you don't have to objectify women to also be attracted to them??? you don't have to behave a certain way to be the right kind of “gay”??????? why are these themes in this book!!! what purpose does it serve!!!!!

but i think the saddest thing of all is that this could have been really great. without that. this would be a great book. the characters are fun, the story beats are well written (most of them at least, i don't really want to get into the whole debate re: sports m/m romance and institutionalized sports homophobia rn lol) and the tropes are good. why drag your own story down with such debasing concepts.

i texted my friend about 20% into this reread and literally said “i'm rereading an m/m romance from like over 5 years ago that i loved at the time and i mean it's still fun but i'm legit like why did i love this it's so cringe LOL”

¯_(ツ)_/¯

5/11/2016 - original review (original rating 4 stars):
predisposed to like this, friends-to-lovers is one of my favorite things of all time, beaten only by the enemies-to-lovers trope ... i know. i know. and this was childhood friends-to-lovers??? honestly, i'm still not sure it wasn't written specifically for me. i also LOVED that it didn't fall into the “gay for you” category that so many m/m books seem to (gross and highly fetishistic) and instead had actual bisexual representation on page. a TINY bit too angsty for me in a few parts, but barely, and it was short lived. would read again! slams mug on ground! (actually HAVE read again before i learned you can log multiple reads on goodreads oops.) (note: i read a really good review on here that kind of tore this book apart, and. tbh i agree with all of it. but i also don't, bc i thought it was good. is the bar too low with m/m romance? yeah, yeah it is. this was still really fun and well written though, so idk.)