History Is All You Left Me

This book is so, so beautiful. Full review to come, but wow, this is so special.FULL REVIEW: I knew going in History is All You Left Me was going to be another heartbreaking [a:Adam Silvera 7577278 Adam Silvera https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1414725025p2/7577278.jpg] read—I mean, the premise is clearly an emotional one—but wow, I did not anticipate just how powerful and important this book would be.I saw people in the GayYA conversation about the book say History starts at heartbreaking and moves toward hope, which is really a perfect way to describe it. A lot of the book is Griffin talking directly to Theo as he processes his grief and moves through a life where Theo is no longer alive. The narrative goes back and forth between the present day and the past, so we get to know Theo and Griffin's history with him, all while knowing how it's ultimately going to end. I sometimes have trouble with Contemporary novels keeping my attention, but this definitely wasn't a problem for History. The whole book is so beautifully written—it's raw, and emotional, and real—and had me feeling approximately all of the things a chapter or two in. Then there's the OCD rep. This was really interesting to me to read because the things that trigger Griffin and his compulsions are entirely different from the things that bothered me (and sometimes still do) at the height of my worst, uncontrolled probably-OCD anxiety. But that's the thing about mental illnesses—they are so varied in the way they affect people, even though representation tends to focus on one or two ways it manifests. So I was really, really happy to see not-frequently-covered ways OCD can affect someone on the page, because lack of awareness causes so much damage and this fights against it. All in all, I really loved this book and I know it'll stick with me for a long time. If you can handle something raw, emotional, and yes, heartbreaking, but also hopeful, then I can't recommend this incredible book more.Diversity note: All of the main characters are queer—Griffin and Jackson are gay, Theo is bi, and there's another queer boy who says he doesn't like labels. Also, Griffin deals with OCD and (possibly, according to Griffin and his psychiatrist at the end—minor spoiler) a delusional disorder. Both the queer and OCD rep are #ownvoices.

4.5/5 StarsI'm sorry, but please don't be mad at me for reliving all of it. History is all you left me.
Hey you!

Yeah, you.

Do you like happiness?

And living?

And having your heart be perfectly okay?

Then this is not the book for you, but I think you should still read it anyway.

Now, I have a confession, I read this book back in January. According to Google, 178 days have come and gone with this book existing in my life. And in those 178 days, I've lied to everyone stating this review was coming and then proceeded to not write the review. What have I been doing? Probably sleeping or maybe eating chicken nuggets, let's be honest here. But today I've decided to change that, as it has come to my attention that there are people who haven't read this book yet. And, not even that, there are people who haven't read an Adam Silvera book before, and let me tell you, you haven't lived until you've read an Adam book. Even though he only has two books out at the time that I write this review, I can confidently state that he is one of the best authors out there at the moment. And with his newest novel, [b:They Both Die at the End|33385229|They Both Die at the End|Adam Silvera|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1494333138s/33385229.jpg|49456196] coming out in just a few short months, you only have a limited time to jump on the hype train before it's released. So why not start with this book, one of my favorite reads of the year so far.

However, as a side effect of writing a review almost 200 days late (and 62 entire books later), I remember almost nothing about this book except I cried about twenty times just during the first chapter alone. But, much like my life, we'll just BS the entire thing and hope my memory serves me correctly.



Tucked inside this package of perfection we have Griffin who's been in love with this boy named Theo for even longer than I've been in love with this book. And, unlike most of my relationships in life, it wasn't one-sided and Griffin and Theo date for awhile. However, before the events of this book take place, Theo moves away to California to attend school so the two love birds break up. Griffin, though, knows that his love for Theo will outlive any obstacle and one day they'll get back together and live happily ever after. And he knows this, despite the fact that Theo starts dating this guy named Jackson in California.

Now, I know what you're thinking. This can't get any more devastating right? Well, you're wrong, because, after a tragic accident, Theo dies. And that's where the book starts. Well, it starts at Theo's funeral. Not like right after he dies. Leaving Griffin, Jackson, myself, and yourself a puddle of emotions on the floor. But because Griffin is having a difficult time accepting the death of his first love, he starts to bond with Jackson and connect over the love over one boy they both shared.



Now, you might be wondering, “Why would I intentionally read a book that is gonna crush my heart into a thousand pieces?” And usually, I'd understand, as I don't like reading sad books either. But this is an Adam Silvera book, and I'll emphasize my love for him as much as I need to in order to convince you to pick this up. And besides, a tree wasn't murdered just to become three hundred pages of straight sadness.

Infomercial voice Because wait! There's more!

This book was sprinkled with so many scenes that made me smile and laugh and give thanks to my youth. Because not only do we get to read about Griffin and Jackson's journey of acceptance, but we also get to view the “history” part of this book, and perhaps my favorite part? or perhaps not. This entire book is my favorite part. So while we have the present day when everything is sad and your reading between blurry vision and a handful of tissues, you also get the story of the year before, when Griffin and Jackson's relationship is just beginning. When they are just two kids in love. And those scenes, while they too have their ups and downs, are coated in an atmosphere of fun and youth.

Adam beautifully weaves in the two storylines so beautifully, I don't even know how he did it. That man is so talented. I need him to teach me how to write. And that's not the only thing he waves into the story so beautifully, but there are also elements of mental illness that are addressed in such a respectful manner. Griffin, the MC, has OCD. While I personally don't have any experience with the disorder, and it is one touched so little in YA literature, I have read reviews that state it is an accurate portrayal.

Let me mention for the gazillionth time in this review that Adam Silvera is one of the best authors publishing books at the moment.



But why give this book a four-star review instead of five if I'm praising it so much? Originally, I did give it five stars, but I went back a few months ago to change it. There's just one part at the end, one element that was added in the last few chapters, that I didn't like. I won't mention what it is, bc spoilers and also I don't remember a characters name, but I felt like the book could have done without it. And as much as I wanted to leave the original rating for this book, I couldn't get over it, I would feel like I was lying to myself if left the rating at five stars.

Now, I hope this review was efficient enough for being over 30 years late. If I didn't convince you to read this book, then I have failed at life.

Please read it. Do it for me.

This review has been sponsored by All I Want by Kodaline. But maybe don't listen to that song for at least a month after you finish reading this.