How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less

About the book: How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less (2000) is a guide to connecting, communicating and expanding your social world. These blinks will teach you how to strike up a conversation with strangers, make them like you and understand even their most subtle gestures.
About the author: Nicholas Boothman is a former fashion and advertising photographer who has spent the last two decades studying how people connect and communicate.

My highlights:
Connecting with others will make you a healthier, more likable person.
Likable people are open, welcoming and friendly, signaling self-confidence, sincerity and trust
if someone doesn't find us interesting within the first 90 seconds, we tend to disengage completely.
likability has a lot to do with the way you look, what's really important is how people feel when they're around you.
Your initial contact with another person is called the greeting and it comprises a few key elements.
offer a standard greeting like “hi” or “hello” in a pleasant tone. Or, try telling the person your first name to encourage them to introduce themselves as well. Once they do so, immediately repeat their name to ensure it sticks in your memory by saying something like, “Brenda, nice to meet you, Brenda!
The first things a new person will notice about you are your body, your eyes and the expression on your face, and it's essential for all three of these elements to emit a feeling of openness.To do so, while showing your interest and making the other person feel important, position your body with your heart aimed directly toward them; this will communicate sincerity, full commitment to the conversation and an openness to connect.Then, look directly into their eyes to establish trust and, once you've made eye contact, be sure you're the first one to smile.
lean slightly toward the other person to indicate interest and openness.
The quality of communication between people depends on their rapport and attitudes.
nothing beats a few shared interests that establish a natural rapport.
a useless attitude is defined by concentrating on what you don't want from a conversation or situation. For example, in a discussion with your boss, you might focus on a desire not to be yelled at. In turn, you'll adopt passive body language, making you seem negative and unlikable.
alter your behavior, your facial expressions and the tone as well as the rhythm of your voice to make yourself more similar to the other person.
when beginning a conversation, consider your end goal and the approach that will help you reach it.
you can either have a useful attitude or a useless attitude. The former, which utilizes the correct body language and expression, begins with deciding what you want from the conversation.
When there's no common ground to jump into, try establishing a rapport by design.
To be credible to others, your body language has to align with your words.
open face smiles and makes eye contact, with a dynamic expression and raised eyebrows.
Open body language exposes your heart and body, signaling to others that you're not only willing to communicate, but that you're enthusiastic about it.
credibility depends on the congruity of three communicative aspects: the vocal, verbal and visual.In other words, what you say, how you say it and the signals your body sends while you say it all need to be aligned.
Crossed arms are one of the most common instances of defensive body language
begin a conversation with their hearts facing one another
Adapting to the mannerisms of others is natural and, by doing so, you can make people feel relaxed in your presence.
Synchronizing with your conversation partner's voice can be a particularly powerful tool
discreetly copying and subtly imitating the gestures of your conversation partner, as well as their body posture, facial expressions, breathing and voice. To do so, you can either match the person exactly or mirror them as if you were their reflection.
The key to conversation is asking the right questions and knowing how to listen.
listen with much more than just your ears; this means using ample eye contact (but not staring), listening with your body by facing your heart toward them, leaning in and nodding your head.
If you want to say something, just remember not to interrupt the other person and be sure to respond to what they've said with feeling
active listening, or, in other words, eliciting a feeling of empathy.
closed questions encourage a yes or no response and are formed with the verbs “to be,” “to have” and “to do.”
“Who?”, “When?”, “What?”, “Where?” “How?” or “Why?”
Open questions invite other people to talk.

Final summary
Endearing yourself to a new acquaintance begins from the moment you meet one another. The way another person feels around you is key to making them like you, which makes it essential to adopt a genuinely open attitude and willingness to connect.