How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

A guide to practical and effective communication with children. The authors share insights and suggestions to help break the pattern of arguments and cope with your child's negative feelings, express your anger without being hurtful, engage your child's cooperation, set clear limits and maintain goodwill, use alternatives to punishment and resolve conflicts.

Okay, so I started this book three and a half years ago and got about halfway through. Recently, I picked it up and read it through from the beginning to the end.

What I like about this book is that it reminds me to treat my boy as a person who has his own thoughts and feelings. The authors take this into account while offering advice on ways that give children practice resolving conflict in healthy, constructive ways.

Because children are people who are self aware and have their own thoughts and ideas and personalities, each is going to respond in different ways. As the authors point out, this doesn't change your kid into a unicorn child who always ones and is never difficult. Nor does the advice turn us into picture perfect parents who never show a hint of emotional distress. Having tools to resolve conflict can help us to avoid shaming and blaming and gaming to a sometimes rocky road of conflict resolution that encourages building the relationship rather than resentment.