I Thought It Was Just Me
2007 • 305 pages
Ratings10
Average rating4.4
15
Ratings10
Average rating4.4
Shame manifests itself in many ways. Addiction, perfectionism, fear and blame are just a few of the outward signs that Dr. Brene Brown discovered in her 6-year study of shame's effects on women. While shame is generally thought of as an emotion sequestered in the shadows of our psyches, I Thought It Was Just Me demonstrates the ways in which it is actually present in the most mundane and visible aspects of our lives—from our mental and physical health and body image to our relationships with our partners, our kids, our friends, our money, and our work.After talking to hundreds of women and therapists, Dr. Brown is able to illuminate the myriad shaming influences that dominate our culture and explain why we are all vulnerable to shame. We live in a culture that tells us we must reject our bodies, reject our authentic stories, and ultimately reject our true selves in order to fit in and be accepted.Outlining an empowering new approach that dispels judgment and awakens us to the genuine acceptance of ourselves and others, I Thought It Was Just Me begins a crucial new dialogue of hope. Through potent personal narratives and examples from real women, Brown identifies and explains four key elements that allow women to transform their shame into courage, compassion and connection. Shame is a dark and sad place in which to live a life, keeping us from connecting fully to our loved ones and being the women we were meant to be. But learning how to understand shame's influence and move through it toward full acceptance of ourselves and others takes away much of shame's power to harm.It's not just you, you're not alone, and if you fight the daily battle of feeling like you are—somehow—just not “enough,” you owe it to yourself to read this book and discover your infinite possibilities as a human being.
Reviews with the most likes.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ = loved it & already plan to reread
⭐⭐⭐⭐ = great book that I recommend
⭐⭐⭐ = pretty solid book
⭐⭐ = I finished it, barely
⭐ = I had to let this one go
This book is something I want to give to pretty much every woman in my life. I read it as part of a professional development unit, looking at how shame might be affecting my students, but Brown's primary focus is on how shame affects women. She is thorough, insightful, and page after page builds relatable stories that help the reader identify how shame has been motivating their choices or lack thereof. She also offers several tips for building shame resilience to help women recover from shaming experiences. These strategies align with the growth mindset theory I read for my last class, focusing on strengths and positive change instead of dwelling on weakness and self-doubt. Her strategies do not sound particularly easy, but they do feel sound.
When I think about this book in regards to being an educator, it makes me think about the language I use around my students, especially when I am at peak frustration. It makes me consider how I can talk to them to make them feel guilty about their actions without feeling ashamed of themselves. While again, the focus of this book is on the culture of shame specifically surrounding western women, the ideas are really applicable to lots of different people. It's a great read, and one I hope lots of people will absorb.
I only skimmed this book, because it was dense, but not with information as with anecdotes. Not really my taste.
I took what helped and left some of the rest (the part where the author presented as an anecdote that a woman hit her kid with a belt, and she shouldn't feel shame for it, was where I checked out completely). I wouldn't recommend the book, not really. Looking for a better one on the topic.
