I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki

I don't know what I expected going into this book but the first few pages completely flooring me wasn't it. It initially hit me hard because there was so much about the author's struggles I felt I could relate to, but that feeling slowly reduced as the book went on. While there were some aspects of her personality that didn't make sense to me, I really appreciated the discussions about Persistent Depressive Disorder, the reasons for binge eating, the anxieties over little things, the pressure of expectations and more. I've never gone to a therapist despite my issues with depression, so I did take heed of some of the things the therapist here was saying because I felt had come to some of those realizations myself, and there were some small changes I could try to make in my thinking. Overall, this was a short but surprisingly insightful book, which may not have all the answers, but sometimes even being seen and realizing we are not alone in the world can be powerful in it's own way.

Unfortunately, this book did not live up to the hype it was receiving on TikTok. I remember scrolling on TikTok one day and saw it as one of the “must read” books for a woman in her 20s. Of course, this was a selling point and immediately intrigued me as I hoped the theme of the book would surround the author's thoughts more in depth.

In my opinion, the book lacked depth in a way that everything was very surface level in terms of the conversation between the author and the therapist. I also felt that the author was judgmental at certain points (or maybe I didn't appreciate the advice/replies that the therapist gave). I wish there were instances where the author explained in more detail about how she navigated through everything in a way that would make it a “must read” for women in their 20s.

I have mixed feelings about this book while it was extremely deep and personal part of the author, but I still felt it lacked more depth, I understand this is just part of her transcripts of her sesions with her phsychiatric but somehow I find the whole thing extremely boring, while they were snips of moments were I could relate to her, there were other where I was just staring into nothing and thinking huh this is not contributing anything meaningful into my life. but I think this was only a me problem because of the format of the book.

However, I have to give her credit for not shying away from tackling difficult subjects, such as mental health and societal expectations from South Koreans, with honesty and vulnerability. Yet, even in the darkest moments, there is a thread of hope and resilience that runs through her writing.