If I Was Your Girl

Edit; changing my rating from 2 stars to 1 star because of how horrible this author is. please research this author before you read her books because the stuff she has done... you just cant seperate the art from the artist in this situation

I don't think I've read a story about a trans person before so I was excited to read this book but.. I didn't like the characters or story. I own another Meredith Russo book so hopefully I like that one better!

It's been a long time since I've read a YA novel with a contemporary setting, probably more than 10 years. So long, in fact, that the world itself has changed a great deal since I last read the genre! So while I do mostly read lgbt+ books, including books with trans characters although I am cis, this book was somewhat outside of my regular realm.

I listened to the wonderful audiobook, narrated by Samia Mounts, who really brought Amanda to life; she did a fantastic job of conveying Amanda's emotions, her joy and pain, in a very emotional book. I absolutely loved the narration. The writing style, too, was excellent. The author has an economy with words, I feel. There are a lot of sharp and evocative metaphors in this book, which I think probably serve to make Amanda's feelings more relatable, both to trans and cis readers. I gave my heart to Amanda from the beginning and was cheering for her at every turn. She's a well-developed character, too, with flaws - for example, It was hard to accept that she would turn away (slightly) from Virginia just to keep herself in the closet. However, I understood why Amanda did that, and I also think it was a good narrative choice, to make Amanda less than perfect.

I liked the ending a lot. Some reviewers seem to have understood it as a happy romantic ending. I wasn't sure that Amanda and Grant were going to get back together. They might, but I think it was meant to be open-ended. I could be mistaken, but my take on it was that the important thing, the actual ending, was Amanda sharing her story with Grant. I think that was a very powerful way to conclude this emotional story.

Too often those of us who don't belong to specific marginalized groups don't take the time to listen to members of those groups when they tell their stories. This book gives Amanda a voice, while the author's note (I enjoyed the audio author's note, btw, that was neato!) explains that Amanda's story is not the only set of life experiences that a trans person can have. I hope that this book will be widely read and that there will be many more books of its kind, and I eagerly await future books from this author.

Due to all the positive factors I mentioned above, I didn't want to knock a star off my rating because I really did enjoy the book. But I had one problem with it. I felt that Bee should have gotten more attention at the end. I didn't think that plot was resolved. I'm sorry to say this, too, but as a bisexual woman, I didn't like encountering the trope of the evil bisexual woman who just doesn't know how to be a good person. She gave her reasons for outing everyone, but it came out of the blue. I would have liked to see her situation addressed, somehow - she could've written to Amanda or someone else to apologize. I agreed, though, with Amanda's decision not to forgive her, and I do understand that this was Amanda's story, not Bee's.