It Didn't Start with You
2016 • 256 pages
Ratings12
Average rating2.6
15
Ratings12
Average rating2.6
"A groundbreaking approach to transforming traumatic legacies passed down in families over generations, by an acclaimed expert in the field Depression. Anxiety. Chronic Pain. Phobias. Obsessive thoughts. The evidence is compelling: the roots of these difficulties may not reside in our immediate life experience or in chemical imbalances in our brains--but in the lives of our parents, grandparents, and even great-grandparents. The latest scientific research, now making headlines, supports what many have long intuited--that traumatic experience can be passed down through generations. It Didn't Start with You builds on the work of leading experts in post-traumatic stress, including Mount Sinai School of Medicine neuroscientist Rachel Yehuda and psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score. Even if the person who suffered the original trauma has died, or the story has been forgotten or silenced, memory and feelings can live on. These emotional legacies are often hidden, encoded in everything from gene expression to everyday language, and they play a far greater role in our emotional and physical health than has ever before been understood. As a pioneer in the field of inherited family trauma, Mark Wolynn has worked with individuals and groups on a therapeutic level for over twenty years. It Didn't Start with You offers a pragmatic and prescriptive guide to his method, the Core Language Approach. Diagnostic self-inventories provide a way to uncover the fears and anxieties conveyed through everyday words, behaviors, and physical symptoms. Techniques for developing a genogram or extended family tree create a map of experiences going back through the generations. And visualization, active imagination, and direct dialogue create pathways to reconnection, integration, and reclaiming life and health. It Didn't Start With You is a transformative approach to resolving longstanding difficulties that in many cases, traditional therapy, drugs, or other interventions have not had the capacity to touch"--
Reviews with the most likes.
This book was a somewhat uncomfortable combination of two elements: information about the emerging science on how traumatic events can actually affect our genes and thus the next generations, and anecdotes and practices coming out of Wolynn's therapeutic work with clients who appear to be repeating family traumas in their own lives and psyches. The latter is a more metaphorical / energetic kind of process than strictly biological, and although putting the genetic science first seems to be an attempt to legitimize the therapy, it actually weakens Wolynn's credibility because in many cases there is no evident link (e.g. one of the very first examples he gives involves an uncle who does not have any genetic connection with the subject). As many impatient and dismissive reviews here on GR attest, this turns off some readers immediately, and I think they have some reason. Genes affected by trauma may explain descendants having SOME kind of weakness or dysfunction, but they can't determine them to repeat in great emotional and psychological detail the SAME kind of trauma. This seems to me to require further research.
I happen to be sympathetic to the metaphorical approach, and also a student of karma (which I think is involved in such cases), so I let this disjunction slide and enjoyed the latter part of the book on its own terms. I have come to some of the same conclusions already through events in my own life, so it was very interesting to read the stories about family trauma being passed down through the generations. I wish I had had Wolynn's advice to follow much earlier; it could have saved me a good deal of pain and suffering. Even at this late date, it has helped me to clarify some of my issues and to identify some healing practices I can still try. I'm looking forward to doing more research of my own.
Loved parts, hated parts. Some of this was way too out there for me, i preferred the science based parts. The workbook made me ugly cry and was one of the most introspective things i've done outside of therapy, wish i could give that 5 stars alone but some of it just way too out there for me. But also don't want to downplay how helpful the good parts were to me. Mixed messages? Kinda. Sorry.
A big meh and then a raised eyebrow. This author is obsessed with mothers and heteronormative identity. We all know about the epigenetic mouse study, yes? It's interesting and relevant but this book veers into la la land. We certainly do pass things down within families, but he leaves out many ways this happens. Read My Grandmother's Hands for a better idea of intergenerational trauma and innate response.
I DNF'd this book 10% of the way through.
I was so excited to pick up this book when I read the premise but I could tell it wasn't going to meet my expectations. In the 10% that I listened to, this book was a lot more woowoo that I anticipated, as I was expecting this to be more of a factual account. The testimonial type stories were very hard to believe and made me distrustful of the entire narrative. Sensing it wasn't going to get better, I came to goodreads which only cemented my thoughts and made me realise this could be a potential 1-2 stars for me. I would still like something on this topic ... but not this.
13/3/23
