Lady Tan's Circle of Women by Lisa See

According to Confucius, "an educated woman is a worthless woman," but Tan Yunxian-born into an elite family, yet haunted by death, separations, and loneliness-is being raised by her grandparents to be of use. Her grandmother is one of only a handful of female doctors in China, and she teaches Yunxian the pillars of Chinese medicine, the Four Examinations-looking, listening, touching, and asking-something a man can never do with a female patient. From a young age, Yunxian learns about women's illnesses, many of which relate to childbearing, alongside a young midwife-in-training, Meiling. The two girls find fast friendship and a mutual purpose-despite the prohibition that a doctor should never touch blood while a midwife comes in frequent contact with it-and they vow to be forever friends, sharing in each other's joys and struggles. No mud, no lotus, they tell themselves: from adversity beauty can bloom. But when Yunxian is sent into an arranged marriage, her mother-in-law forbids her from seeing Meiling and from helping the women and girls in the household. Yunxian is to act like a proper wife-embroider bound-foot slippers, pluck instruments, recite poetry, give birth to sons, and stay forever within the walls of the family compound, the Garden of Fragrant Delights. How might a woman like Yunxian break free of these traditions, go on to treat women and girls from every level of society, and lead a life of such importance that many of her remedies are still used five centuries later? How might the power of friendship support or complicate these efforts?

Absolutely loved this one

This was our book club pick for the month of September and it absolutely delivered. So much to discuss. We were transported to the 15th century Ming Dynasty, where we were privy to the private lives of China's elite class. Imagine practicing medicine but never touching blood and male doctors never so much as looking at their female patients. This is how medicine was unless there was a female who practiced hereditary medicine. The protagonist here was a real person in the late 1400s who learned the practice of women's medicine from her grandmother who practiced that same medicine. The bound feet- that hideous torture done to Chinese girls from the 10th century until the 20th century- was well explored, both from a child's and mother's perspective.

This book is chock full of beautiful, profound quotes sprinkled throughout the dialogue about everything from friendship, marriage, relationships, childrearing, love, and a funny one concerning mothers-in-law and their relationships with their daughters-in-law. We were astounded at their cultural norms. The idea of never leaving your compound- never seeing the town or the outside world. Not attending your own wedding banquet. Buying a servant for your child, buying concubines for your husband, selling your extra sons to the emperor to become eunuchs. This book takes you through all of this and so much more.

This book will get you thinking and talking about what has changed for women and what really hasn't. We were glad to meet this rare woman doctor who had a life so much fuller than the typical woman of her time and stature. The women in her part of China lived better and longer lives because of her.

The four phases of a woman's life- She begins the book with this and ends the book with it.
Divided this way:
the milk days,
the hair pinning days,
the rice and salt days, and finally,
the sitting quietly days.

Well if that doesn't say it all.
Excellent read. One of our liveliest discussions yet. Highly recommend.

I struggled to engage with the first 75 or so pages of this book and put it down in favour of other books a few times. I'm glad I persevered as I did eventually find the book pretty enjoyable.