Learning to Feel

This was really a 3 ½ but as we all bemoan there are no half stars on GR. I did like it as it was a low angst story when you come down the nitty gritty of it.

First of all the blurb doesn't quite fit the tittle as the “learning to feel” bit is twofold and I would argue is almost more relevant to Trent than Nathan. Nathan is a doctor who has learned to get by almost asexually and is dead emotionally which he comes to believe is just his way of being. Feeling over stretched and stressed from his work as an Emergency doctor in Boston he relocates to Belfast, Maine to a house provided by his new employer, the local hospital, which comes surrounded by natural beauty and a transient artist/handy-man Trent Jamieson.

I'm giving nothing away by saying that they are instantly attracted to each other. It is a surprise to Nathan to feel anything yet once he processes that he is attracted to a man he takes to the idea like a fish to water and no one from his family or friends or new work colleagues pose a problem, much less Nathan himself who has evidently grown up in a family open to life and the world.

That could've been the end of the story but in this book the conflicts are from within and not external and the character who really needs to learn about feelings and unconditional love and family and acceptance is out-and-proud Trent. And therein lies my problem with the book.

Trent isn't conflicted about his sexuality or how the world at large may perceive him but because after the death of his parents at an early age he was left in the care of family who did object to his orientation and later was crushed by his first relationship, leaving him closed off to the possibility of love and unable to see himself as someone worthy of affection or even open to trust the intentions of others. So far so good as I love nothing more than a well done growth arc for a character. The problem comes in that for the first roughly 70% of the book it's all about Nathan and Trent is almost a cypher whose intent and thoughts we have to intuit much like Nathan has to and then the last 40% rushes us through Trent's self acceptance but it feels very much like being told rather than shown. And we have no Trent POV!

In the end I did like this very much but I feel that with a little extra oomph I could've loved it because I think I could easily stop by Belfast on my next trip to Maine and these two will still be enjoying their HEA

DNF - PG 8

Why?

When I sat down to this, I was expecting - and hoping - for a cute little gay/bi realization story that would be as soft and sweet as the cover. Reading the reviews indicate to me that that would have been a Forlorn Hope (tm) because it's little more than boring porn, apparently. I, however, didn't even make it that far, thanks entirely to the heavy-handed-ness of the story. Quotes direct from the book follow.

Something was incomplete, and I had no idea what it was.She'd [sister] hugged me and whispered, “I hope you find what you're looking for.”. My brother joined our hug. “And I hope she's hot.”“[...His dad speaking]Take happiness wherever you find it, Son. Don't deny yourself anything.”. It was an odd thing for him to say, and he was nervous and unsure, which told me that there was a double meaning to his words.I shook his hand, and he grinned at me, his eyes intensely curious and for a moment I was caught in his stare. His eyebrow flinched, and his smile became a smirk. I felt a warmth spread over my skin and I pulled my hand away, embarrassed at my reaction. “I've gotta grab my bags,” I blurted out, and quickly walked outside to my car.. I popped the trunk and took some deep breaths, wondering why I noticed that he had dimples and nice lips, why I noticed that his hand was warm, why I noticed that he smelled of paint and coffee.[...]again, I was stuck staring at him.I didn't look deliberately, but he was right in front of me, and I found myself looking at his legs and the shape of his shoulders. It wasn't until I got to the top of the stairs I realized I'd just checked him out.. Him.. A guy.. “Hey, are you okay?” he asked me. “You looked a little pale.”

I...just don't want to. Look, life is too short to read things I don't enjoy - even free things I don't enjoy. And, yes, for those curious every quote came from the first eight pages. There's a small part of me that is horrifyingly curious as to how much worse it can get.