Lionel Asbo

Young Desmond Pepperdine desires nothing more than books to read and a girl to love. Unfortunately for him, he is the ward of his uncle, Lionel Asbo (self-named after England's notorious Anti-Social Behaviour Orders), a terrifying yet oddly principled thug who's determined to teach him the joys of pitbulls (fed with lots of Tabasco sauce), internet porn (me love life) and all manner of more serious criminality. But just as Desmond begins to lead a gentler, healthier life, Lionel wins 140 million pounds in the lottery, hires a public relations firm and begins dating a cannily ambitious topless model and poet. Strangely, however, Lionel remains his vicious, weirdly loyal self, while his problems as well as Desmond's seem only to multiply.