Loud in the House of Myself: Memoir of a Strange Girl

Ten years ago I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. Since then, I have often been in and out of therapy. I've tried various techniques to regulate my moods. What worked best for me, however, were words. Words are important to me, and by reading and learning about BPD, I was able to articulate my feelings.

I've read many books on the subject, probably all of which were written by therapists. Some I stepped back in amazement from, asking how they knew so much about me. Others were clearly speculating how a Borderline feels and reacts, and were way off. I was excited to read Loud in the House of Myself because here was a book actually written by a Borderline. And, not surprisingly, Stacy Pershall knows my story.

Okay, so Pershall's life has been more extreme than mine. Compared to her, I'm a tame Borderline–my therapists always said I was “high functioning.” But the base of her actions and feelings are nearly identical. If you want insight into what it means to have BPD, this is the book.

On top of her BPD, Pershall struggled with eating disorders. Though I have many extremist behaviors that mirror the author's bulimia and anorexia, I have never had an eating disorder, per se. Though I'm not as versed in this field, Pershall's descriptions were vivid and made this side of her illness extremely real for me.

When I first started this book, my one worry was that–given the marketing of the book and its target audience (largely, young girls it seems)–that Loud in the House of Myself would be juvenile and poorly written. Quickly, this fear receded. Pershall is intelligent and witty. She talks often about her love of literature and her reading list is impressive.

Loud in the House of Myself is a frightening book. It's scary to get in the head of someone who is often irrational, someone who is seemingly normal one moment, belligerent the next, someone who swings from a belief that they are divine to a knowledge that they are worse than nothing. It's scary, but it's what it means to be Borderline. For whatever it is worth, I attest for Pershall's accuracy on the subject. Loud in the House of Myself is largely what it means to have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder.