More Than Friends
2012 • 91 pages

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Average rating3

15

This story was a free read I saw on Amazon, so I thought ‘why the hell not?', although the reviews weren't that good. Now that I read it, I can join those that wrote it wasn't all that good. For a free read it was quite alright, but I wouldn't pay any money for it. There are far better written fanfics out there with a gay-for-you theme.

The story had potential, but it all felt too rushed. Too rushed to build any tension between the characters, or to make you feel any suppressed longing from the confused Ryan. Too rushed to make Ryan's confusion and doubts, the conflict between clinging to his heterosexuality and the desire he feels for Zack believable.

On one page Ryan is all ‘nope, that can never be a thing between me and him I'm a tits-lover', and on the next ‘oh god, I've never felt this aroused and good'. His inner conflict tries to appear much deeper than it actually is, and in order to make the reader believe it, the author should have delved into it more, and followed up more on the concerns and doubts Ryan has.

Moreover the sex-scenes really irritated me. In the first one Zack is the bottom, and he takes Ryan's dick in only with a bit of spit, and without any prep whatsoever. It's not a vagina for christ's sake! So Zack can't tell me it only hurt a little bit. Unless Ryan's got the size XXS that got to hurt pretty damn much. Same when Ryan's bottoms for the first time. He gets a bit of lube, but no prep. Well, good that he can bear the pain so well, because although he says it feels like he's being torn apart his erection is still there. Seriously? Even if Zack uses lube that's still pretty damn unrealistic. Come on, it's Ryan's first time, so at the very least he needs a bit of scissoring from Zack's side. And the best part was that a page prior Zack says “I'll hate myself if I hurt you.” You can go and hate yourself now then.

Well, all in all it's alright for a free read and okay for people that enjoy short stories without much plot and a gay-for-you-theme.

October 21, 2013Report this review