My Year of Rest and Relaxation

This book is about descending into a dark place and wanting to stay there, needing to stay there. Hibernation, isolation, break-down depression. That said, it's a funny, mean, moving book, that is above all very honest. Maybe it will be more easily understood by those who have experienced depression and can find humor in it. On top of being funny, it's a quick and effortless read.

The main character is a good looking girl who appears to have all the advantages of being blonde, pretty, and from a wealthy family. But inside she is emotionally dead and incredibly isolated. After a series of disappointments leads her to major depression, the main character begins to earnestly seek to spend a year locked away in her apartment asleep as much as possible, floating away on prescription medication and transforming into her future self. Just not yet.

Her best friend is also lost, but copes with in the complete opposite way: frenetic superficial self improvement plans and an obsession with appearances. Best friend dismisses the main character's depression because she envies her beauty. In return, the protagonist treats her friend like crap, a bond of mutual sadomasochistic loneliness.

Her psychiatrist is the unhinged and ready to prescribe Dr. Tuttle, my favorite character. Bless you, Dr. Tuttle. You made me laugh out loud so many times.

I loved many things about this book. The descriptions of disassociation and fugue states. The terrible men. The superficial art world. The frank analysis women have of their own appearances and the treatment it affords them, and the frank discussion of eating disorders. How mean the main best friends were to each-other, and how they tried to love each-other as well. The flashbacks that got us to this point. The way depression makes us brittle and mean. How when you shrink your world down to a tiny stage, the mundane becomes a delight, like your favorite brand of ice cream or the deli coffee from around the corner. The rewatching of Harrison Ford and Whoopie Goldberg videotapes by the protagonist while locked in her depression apartment. When I experienced an episode of major depression, at one point all I could cope with was re-watching various VHSs. It's just so real.