On the Plus Side

Thank you Netgalley and Publisher for this ARC in exchange for an unbiased review!

“She'd never looked in the mirror and hated what she saw. It was more that she hadn't wanted to see anything at all”

I have an entire drawer with a stash of clothes I love but refuse to wear—crop tops, tube tops, bodycon dresses and short skirts (alongside a small chest full of bikini tops I can only wear in my backyard, bikini bottoms I refuse to wear at all). This confession is to say I emotionally connected with Everly's story of feeling like too much, of wanting to disappear and blend in. Not because I find them unflattering or my body ugly. It really is about fear of what others are thinking. What gives me my worst anxiety is the knowledge that I'm being perceived no matter what. I sit still, don't speak, make myself feel small to paint an unimpressive yet unmemorable picture of myself. And the lesson to learn is not that no one's looking at you or to look your best at all times. The lesson is really about being able to not give a fuck, to surround yourself with people who uplift you, who want to see you happy.

Everly's emotional journey was so so excellent, and the romance was just as good. Romance is usually not my schtick. But I was absolutely dying at the somewhat slow burn, blush worthy romance with a guy who is GRUMPY and somehow, still so loveable and kind. I grew up thinking, and still sometimes still succumb to the idea, that fat people were unworthy of love. And if they were loved it was humiliating or fetishization. So it was refreshing to see someone not only love a fat woman, but cheer her on in the process of loving herself. I also appreciated the smut for its briefness and low ~detail~. Low spice makes me blush, has me a bit flustered and I love that!

Everly's mother was certainly realistic in the scariest way! I know she had her redemption arc but I genuinely was not prepared for the comments she made to Everly and others about fatness. She was such a well written character that I was seeing red any time she spoke. And I think she was, in the beginning, the true embodiment of a hater. The conversation between her and Everly was necessary, though I'm glad she didn't completely forgive her. In the end, I think her character tells us that people who want to ‘help' you should want you happy. No one should want to see you miserable to subside people's comments or thoughts about you. Pure intentions are essential, but how people treat us is just as important.

There is such an obsession in books with fat MC's wanting to lose weight, and too often the argument for body positivity gets dulled down for the sake of keeping straight sized people comfortable. I appreciated that Everly didn't succumb to her mother's harmful rhetoric. That the book was unabashedly advocating for fat people and their happiness the. entire. time.

There are certain narratives that fat people are allowed to have in fiction (and life!). Loving the way you look (literally just wanting to exist without judgement) is not usually one of them. We are always written like self-hating freaks who were always insecure, feel ugly, and are not ready for relationships. We could ~never possibly~ love our bodies as they are and are just waiting for other people to catch up. It was awesome to see Everly written as simply afraid to be loud. To love our loudness deep down, but driven to be quiet out of fear of making others cringe at the noise.

I cannot recommend this enough.

I took it upon myself to create a small asf soundtrack for this:

im fine by sabrina carpenter (unreleased)
slow burn by kasey musgraves
she looks so perfect by 5sos
someone new by hozier
naked by lizzo