Paladin's Grace

CW: beheading, mention of past abuse, on page panic attacks

I think I've heard the author's name before but don't remember ever encountering her books before. But this series in particular has had my attention since a few weeks ago because my favorite author Shelley Parker-Chan said this is one of her favorites. And love checking out those which are what my favorite authors are reading and loving. And this was pretty different from my usual fare.

I don't honestly know what I think of it, so I'll probably discover my feelings as I write this review. Im also a bit confused because I listened to this audiobook during an overnight train journey when I couldn't sleep at all, and my sleep deprivation may have left me unable to process it all properly. But the book nevertheless had me engaged and helped me feel calm even though I couldn't sleep. First thing I have to mention is that the audiobook is done very well, particularly the scenes when the narrator has to change his tone and pitch based on the emotion of the scene or when one of the characters is almost having a panic attack. I've seen in a couple reviews that this story is set in the same world as some other books by the author but I think it's fine to read as someone unfamiliar with them. But we also get only the required amount of world building necessary to further the story, and nothing more. There is also quite a good amount of gore and mentions of violence, but overall the tone of the book is more funny and irreverent. I also love the fact this is mostly a romance but we also get political conspiracies, religious cults, magical serial killers and so much more.

I don't know which character to mention first because both of them are so compelling in their own ways. Stephen is a Paladin, but one who's god is dead and he is a broken man who is full of guilt and fear and doesn't think he deserves happiness. But he is also brave and chivalrous and steadfast (which is also true for all of his Paladin brothers) and it's hard not to like him or feel sorry for him.

Grace on the other hand is a perfumer who has had life changing bad experiences before and lost everything she held close to her heart multiple times, and is now satisfied with what she has built for herself and doesn't want any complications. She is sweet and naive in some ways, doesn't think she'll ever find love, and gets panic attacks when she suddenly remembers some past bad situations. What I will never forget is how the author describes her talent as a perfumer, the way she contextualizes everything through scent and the way she describes everything and everyone through smells is funny and endearing. I also love how the narrator brought her insecure and panicky self to life.

I think this is technically a slow burn because they both take their sweet time to get together but their fascination with each other pretty much starts in their first meeting. But they are both so scared to put themselves out there and be vulnerable that they keep affirming to themselves that the other couldn't possibly be interested in them. There is so much internal monologue on both sides wallowing about it which was sad but also frustrating, and I wanted to just smack their heads together sometimes. But they are also very good to each other, their personalities being perfectly complementary and also there's so much mutual respect.

The side characters are equally eclectic and amazing and I wanted to know more about all of them. Bishop Beartoungue is the well respected leader of a religious order and I adored seeing her showing off her power, but also being super funny in interactions with those she was familiar with. It's obvious that there is so much more to her and I would love a whole book about just her. Istvhan is Stephen's closest friend among the Paladins and is a grounding force in his life, counseling Stephen to realize that he deserves love too and standing up with him in dangerous circumstances. We don't get too many close interactions with other Paladins but they all seem like a great supportive group, albeit with past issues of their own. Marguerite is Grace's landlord, best friend and self confessed spy who is very mysterious but self assured and a force of nature in support of Grace even if she doesn't always do it openly. I'm hoping we'll get to know her true story in the upcoming novels. We also have other compelling characters who have small but interesting presence throughout and were part of some very funny scenes.

After this long story that I've written, I think that despite some frustrating moments with the two main characters, I overall enjoyed this story which was a good combo of slow burn romance, compelling character arcs, lots of entertaining scenes and dialogue and a plot which was convoluted, violent and funny all at once. Now I can see why the author is so well acclaimed and I can't wait to read the rest of the series.