Patricia Wants to Cuddle by Samantha Allen

When the final four women in competition for an aloof, if somewhat sleazy, bachelor's heart arrive on a mysterious island in the Pacific Northwest, they mentally prepare themselves for another week of extreme sleep deprivation, invasive interviews, and of course, the salacious drama that viewers nationwide tune in to eagerly devour. Each woman came on "The Catch" for her own reasons—brand sponsorships, followers, and yes, even love—and they've all got their eyes steadfastly trained on their respective prizes.

Enter Patricia, a temperamental, but woefully misunderstood local, living alone in the dark, verdant woods and desperate to forge a connection of her own. As the contestants perform for the cameras that surround them, Patricia watches from her place in the shadows, a queer specter haunting the bombastic display of heterosexuality before her. But when the cast and crew at last make her acquaintance atop the island's tallest and most desolate peak, they soon realize that if they're to have any hope of making it to the next Elimination Event, they'll first have to survive the night.

A whirlwind romp careening toward a last-girl-standing conclusion and a scathing indictment of contemporary American media culture, Patricia Wants to Cuddle is also a love story: between star-crossed lesbians who rise above their intolerant town, a deeply ambivalent woman and her budding self-actualization, and a chosen family of misfit islanders forging community against all odds.

hehehehehehe the bachelor meets sasquatch

No lesbian Sasquatch sex!! Shame!!

This book fluttered it's way into my life somehow and I am still not sure how it managed to get here. It's not a book I would have searched out necessarily and it's definitely not TOTALLY aligned with my reading tastes but there it sat and I was instantly drawn to it.

First and foremost. The cover. Brilliant. Beyond Brilliant. It tells the story, fits the story and instantly makes you want to read this book.

The contents inside. Fun. This is classified as a horror novel and there are for sure horrific things that happen but overall the story is fun and it unfolds in a smart, snarky and silly way. The setting is the backdrop of a reality dating show called The Catch and the final 4 contestants are about to go on a trip with their eligible bachelor and when they finally reach Otter's Island in the Pacific Northwest something strange starts to happen.

All of their petty dramas and their infighting actually build to a huge crescendo that lays the ground work for the horror to come. They all settle neatly into roles and of the entire crew, only about one of them is likable (but there's a point to that, I promise.)

I don't want to say anymore because I don't want to spoil anything for you. If you are looking for a frothy and fun horror book, this is for you. If you are a huge fan of reality dating shows and maybe some Bigfoot documentaries, this book is for you.

What it's like:
The Bachelor meets Harry and the Hendersons
Love and First Sight meets Animal Attacks
Unreal meets American Horror Stories

Overall I enjoyed this immensely. It was such a good time. My only complaint is that it went by too fast. It wasn't long enough and I wanted more from the story. I loved what I read I just felt you could have continued to tell the story for another 100-200 pages. I wanted more of this. Truly. I wanted to keep turning the pages. Maybe if this book is successful the author will give us some prequel story or at the very least let us know what happened to Patricia and the women of Otter Island.

Book Grades:
Plot Development and Pacing - 100/100
Character Development - 90/100
Theme and Subject Matter - 95/100
Writing Style - 100/100
Reader Engagement - 100/100

Overal Grade: 97% - A+ OR 4.5/5 Stars

Thank you to NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
Release Date: 6/28/22

I found this novel on a few "recommended reads" lists and I'm glad I picked it up. It's a relatively quick read which kept me engaged throughout. Although I don't watch "reality" shows like "The Bachelor" I easily understood the way the show in the book -- "The Catch" -- worked. I liked how the story was told, chapter by chapter, with the focus on the different characters. The "excerpts" from the on-line discussions, journals and love letters added to the plot development. The mystery of the story wasn't deep, nor was the horror of it too intense. There's a few gory descriptions of carnage, but even these are brief and more for atmosphere than for shock and horror. I smiled when the meaning of the title is revealed near the end - especially since none of the characters (whom the chapters are named after) have the name "Patricia." An enjoyable read which celebrates the beauty of nature and a range of ways to love!