Practically Perfect in Every Way

I've been thinking about happiness since last summer. I've read books on happiness and taken notes on happiness and tried out happiness theories.

Jennifer Niesslein has spent the same time and energy on what to me seems like a bigger idea: virtue. Can I become better? she asks herself in this book.

Niesslein spends no time attempting to define virtue for the larger society nor does she spend any time plotting out the best ways to become more virtuous. Instead she focuses strictly on trying to improve herself.

She spends little time trying to discover the best ways to improve herself, either. She seems, rather, to just pick up and try whatever is closest at hand.

She fails. Yes, she fails, over and over again. She doesn't become tidier. She doesn't save money for retirement. She doesn't lose much weight. Worst of all, she doesn't become much happier; instead, she becomes filled with anxiety and fear, begins to suffer from panic attacks, and starts sleepwalking. She flat out writes, “It's hard to change who you are, if it's possible at all.”

She admits this, but nevertheless seems to find the entire experience worthwhile. When she hit rock bottom, she ran across a guide to Zen. Something in the book helped her. So she leaves us with the thought that it was all worth it.

I am not really sure that Niesslein's book should be taken as anything more than one person's adventure with self-help. From the start, she was trying to change too many things too fast using too unfocused a method. Oh well. It is not a book that changed my life, but I did enjoy reading about a person trying to become better even if it was just to publish a book about the process.