In 2006, DAW Books published Jim C. Hines' debut novel Goblin Quest. But before Jig the goblin, before fairy tale princesses and magic librarians and spunky fire-spiders, there was Nakor the Purple, an elf who wanted nothing more than to stand around watching lovingly overdescribed sunrises with his pet owl Flame, who might actually be a falcon, depending on which chapter you're reading. This is Nakor's story, written in 1995 and never before shared with the world. (For reasons that will soon be painfully clear.) Together with an angsty vampire, a pair of pixies, and a feisty young thief, Nakor must find a way to stop an Ancient Evil before she destroys the world. (Though, considering the rel-atively shallow worldbuilding, it's not like there's much to destroy...) With more than 5000 words of bonus annotation and smart-ass commentary, this is a book that proves every author had to start somewhere, and most of the time, that place wasn't very pretty.
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This was hilarious! What a pleasure to read Jim Hines going MST3000 on his first novel. The snark is awesome and I actually think that folks who want to write would benefit from Jim's examples of bad writing.
