Royally lost

“Oh, that's an international magazine with a picture of you on the cover. With a runaway European prince. In your underwear.... I guess you must like him more than I thought. Let me think of a way to facilitate your reunion.”

Noooooo, Mom! Reality would go more like this....

“That's an international magazine with a picture of you in your underwear on the cover! With an equally almost-naked man! I don't care if he's a European prince, you are never seeing him again!”