Sapphire

SO..holy moly this book was epic bad!!

First, it's a blatant rip off of KA's Rock Chick books, and a little advice, if you are going to rip off a book concept, at least make it a good rip off! So because this is so obviously a cheap Rock Chick imitation, I am going to use that series in comparison to this sorry excuse for one...

Characters...Elliot (cough Liam Nightingale cough) is I believe 25, has brown hair, and blue eyes, and is 6´2. He is also a manwhore (of course), but unlike Lee in the Rock Chick books, he is not charming, or charismatic, nor sweet, he is pretty much a moody asshole that gets mad at a drop of a hat, and runs out to “do shit at the office” at practically the end of every scene. He has an older brother who's name escapes me, maybe Travis? and a younger sister Kami, who is the h's best friend. He runs a PI business that investigates, and goes after skips etc. It's called Steele Investigations. It comes complete with “hot guys” and the super hot, but bitchy receptionist. (I shit you not) When we meet her it's a scene straight out of the Rock Chick books.

The heroine is Lorraine (Rae) she is 21 and a virgin (of course she is), 5´5, has long blond hair, and to be honest, I don't remember her eye color. Her father died ages ago and her mother is a marriage whore (her words, not mine). She basically has no redeeming qualities. She comes across as weak and boring. She is always going on about not being “worthy” of the H (seriously, Charles Manson is to good for the H) and apparently she has a hump like Quasimodo. (OK, I just made that part up lol) Her best friend is Kami and they grew up together (where did I read that before..oh ya.) She also has a gay BFF called Harly.

So plot..I don't even know where to begin with this. The h is out for a night on the town in a club in Denver (‘cause Rock Chick). She is drunk and dancing with a guy she just meet. In swoops the H, gets rid of the guy, and says “Me Tarzan, you Jane, we are together now, let's go have sex” or something along those lines! Here's the thing, before this scene we never get one mention of Elliot, or of Rae even liking Elliot. Before going out Rae and Kami discuss Rae getting some and again there is no mention about her long suffering crush on Elliot. There is basically NO history mentioned between these two. Later back at Elliot's gorgeous Denver flat (of course) he asks why she has been ignoring him for five years. She says because at 16 she saw him going on a “shagging” spree (oh hello there British author) She was upset because he basically “shagged” everything that walked, and ignored her. Mmm Kay...what a catch. His response “BABE”, and then “You weren't legal yet. I had to leave you alone.” The h is basically...“OK, let's get it on” Meanwhile back in Eveville, I am staring at my iPad thinking “Umm she became legal three years ago. Care to explain that asshole?? He never does...

So, more blah blah blah. The heroine does something to annoy Elliot and he tells her she isn't worth the trouble. She goes all “Woe Is Me. I knew I wasn't worth your time” and runs back to her own apartment where she...wait for it...gets kidnapped! I was shocked I tell you, shocked!! So there she is tied to a chair getting beat up by two baddies asking about one of her step dads that she hasn't seen in six years. You'd think these dudes would have better intel, but alas no. She gets knocked out, and ends up back at Elliot's PI offices. She's thinking Elliot came looking for her after their fight, but no. He had his tracker Linc (Vince cough) tracking the two thugs about something else and heard there was an unknown woman being held. So ya, the douche didn't even know it was her until she got to the offices. I don't think he even apologized about being an ass to her.

More blah, blah, blah..The h is out at club with Kami and they run into one of Elliots ex's Andi. She precedes to tell the h that she slept with Elliot two weeks ago (Elliot and Rae have been together a month by this time) and how he is just waiting for her to settle down so he can marry her. She also tells the heroine how he likes threesomes. Of course this sends h into a “Woe Is Me” fit, and she confronts Elliot who tells her he had a three year relationship with Andi, and that she cheated on him, so he cheated to get back at her (Oh you're such a catch dude). He then precedes to tell her he slept with Andi two months ago because he “hadn't gotten any” in awhile. He then says “BABE” and the h is all “Let's Get it On” Meanwhile back in Eveville, I am thinking, “Ummm...how is that flying with the h? He could have totally got some from her. After all he keeps telling her it has “always been you” Ya, not so much..

So even more blah, blah, blah and the H cancels a dinner date with the h because of work. The h then goes out to pick up some Chinese food and sees Elliot having a cozy dinner with Andi. Again with the “Woe Is Me” breakdown. Later when she mentions seeing him and Andi, he says..wait for it “BABE” it was just work. She is sleeping with your ex step dad (random much) and all is forgiven. Next thing we know he has the ex step dad in his “room” and tells him to leave the h alone. He agrees and leaves and gets killed the next day. That was the extent of the whole bad guy kidnapping plot.

Pretty much the rest of the book is “I love you” and “Will you marry me?” and Kami and Rae graduating college and getting like 2.5 million from her parents to open some store, and blah blah blah...the end.

So as you can see I enjoyed the hell out of this one (insert sarcasm) that being said, I do plan on reading book two, why? I don't know. Maybe I am a masochist, or maybe I just want to see how much more of the Rock Chick series in is book two, whatever the case may be...on to book two!! :D