Shame Me Not

I didn't really know what to expect from this book, it had been recommended to me and I thought the synopsis sounded interesting but apart from that, I knew nothing about it and therefore didn't have any expectations going in. Holy crap! This book is AMAZING! Seriously, it blew me away. The story is told in three parts, and it's almost like reading three different genres because the story covers so much of the lives of this couple. I was mesmerised by this couple and what they were going through and experiencing. I felt every heartache, every happiness, every thing. It was like I was there with them. Ana and Kevin have carved a place in my heart. Fiona Cole writes so beautifully. Fiona is like the dominant person in this story, and the readers are the submissive. She enforces her words onto us and we willingly give up control knowing she'll take good care of us. This book contains subjects that are tackled with thought and understanding. Her words are raw, and deep, and addictive. Once I started reading I just didn't want to stop. I really liked this cover, it was different and pretty.

Let's talk about the characters for a second. My God! Where to begin? Ana and Kevin are ALL THE THINGS. I adored them, they are the type of characters that you become attached to and never want to leave. They each have their demons that they're fighting, and it makes them even stronger for doing so. Sometimes it takes them longer than the reader (and other characters) hopes it'll take. I cringed at Kevin, I threw a ‘really?' question at Ana, and a host of other emotions passed over my face and words out of my mouth as we spend 10 years with them. In the first part of the book Kevin is a young man discovering himself and his desires, and they scare him...a lot, and watching him come to terms and accept that about himself was both beautiful and heartbreaking, as the story progresses we see Ana struggle with some of those same issues but for different reasons and that too is heartbreaking. But with acceptance comes the beauty. We're introduced to some characters in the first part of the book that you think you're going to hate but end up loving, and those you thought you'd love and you end up hating. I loved that about it.

Ana and Kevin's relationship spans the course of 10 years. From friends to lovers, they experience so much. From the last years of high school to college, to their adult lives. They're there for each other in the best ways they can be. I just can't get enough of this couple. The draw they have to one another is electric. I dare anybody not to be affected by it. I loved their banter, you believed that they were the best of friends. The physical side of their relationship is smoking hot. Seriously, I gotta check my kindle for scorch marks. There is a lot of sex but it all fits in with the story being told, none of it is misplaced or used as a filler or for shock purposes. Each scene is used to progress the story and explain more about their desires and how it affects them. This book is filled with angst, it made me cry, it made me want to throw my kindle, and at times it gutted me - ‘I'll be your normal', however, it is also uplifting, and happy, and sexy. It literally has everything.

This book has my heart, and it has my soul, I happily gave them up to this story. I don't know if I'll ever get them back, and I don't really care. This book is going to stay with me for a very long time. It was a pleasure to read and I'm super excited to dive into the follow-up novella.

**Note: This book contains a lot of sex, and rough sex at that, if you do not like that sort of thing this book may not be for you. However, what I will say is that this book is built on consent, learning how to deal with your feelings and wants and desires. Anybody that doesn't understand the dynamics of this sort of relationship can learn a lot from experiencing Ana and Kevin's story.